Over the weekend, a bunch of friends and I went out for a few drinks after seeing a play. While at the bar, my ex and I (who became extremely good friends after we broke up a year ago) were having some great conversation when she said, “I need to pee. Come with me.” And I thought no big deal. It’s something that we do when we’re at each other’s house and the conversation’s on a roll and we don’t want to stop the momentum. So I go into the ladies’ room with her, she does her business and then we come out. Some of my friends gave us strange looks as we did but I didn’t think anything of it.
Then, today I was walking around campus and ran into two girls who I know and stopped to talk to them. Neither had been at the bar. One of the girls turned to the other and said, “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” Then she turned to me and said, “Well, are you coming?” At which point, they both laughed their respective ass off.
Here’s my question. Is there something terribly wrong with going to the bathroom with someone to continue a conversation? There’s only one toilet in that particular bathroom, so it’s not as if some stranger would walk in and get freaked out by a guy in the ladies’ room. And is going in the ladies’ room worth gossiping about to people that weren’t there?
Did their joking bother you? I wouldn’t worry overmuch about it. Or if they keep it up and it starts to annoy, explain that it is something normal to you and your ex, no biggie. The person who gossiped is a loser anyway. They have the issues, not you.
If a guy and a gal went into a public restroom together, and especially if alcohol was involved, and even more especially if they were exes on good terms, I would immediately assume they were either getting busy or taking drugs in there. No other explanation would even occur to me.
To be honest, I think it’s a bit strange to accompany someone into the restroom to continue a conversation, but if it’s cool with you, it’s cool with me.
Just don’t be surprised when I assume you’re getting busy in there.
Cograts in advance to Noclueboy on his seven thousandth post
And** Orange Toque** you WOMAN!! Every guy knows there is not talking in the rest room. THis why we have no lines! Its men like you that destroy the system!
I think the main thing that struck me about the whole situation was that someone cared enough about it to bring it up half a week later. Usually my friends can’t even remember what they did during the weekend, much less someone else.
Good God, jackelope, sex in a bar bathroom? I’m scared to touch anything in there. I’m not going to expose my vital parts to the nasty flesh eating bacteria.
And MonkeyMule, I’d never even dream of talking with someone in the guy’s restroom. That’s just not natural.
Seen it happen, dude. Granted, the participants didn’t look like regular churchgoers, but I’ve seen it happen. Well, I didn’t see it happen, but everyone in the place knew exactly what was going on.
To answer question #1:
When I’m talking to my boyfriend and I have to pee, he comes with me. But that’s if we’re at home, not in a public place. And I wouldn’t dream of doing that with my ex, although I’m not that close to any of my exes. So yeah, a little uncommonplace. I personally can’t imagine any conversation being that important.
Because that would require acknowledging that there’s another male standing beside you with his privates in his hand. This is, in the Standard Straight Male Social Model (SSMSM), dangerously close to having actual gay sex with said male standing beside you with his privates in his hand. The only way to lessen the danger is to never, ever acknowledge the other male. Do not speak. Do not nod. Do not murmur a greeting or farewell. And NEVER, EVER move your head even a fraction of an inch in his direction, lest he think you’re trying to sneak a peek.
It should be noted that there is an exceptional corollary to the above rule. If sports is involved in any way (gym, team athletics, squash/raquetball, etc.), then it’s perfectly all right to be completely naked and shower together while making jocular conversation revolving around women, sports, and beer. Otherwise, two men are NEVER, EVER naked in the same room at the same time unless it’s for a military induction physical.
If you know the person, and you’re not actually standing at the urinal or sitting in a stall, then conversation is permitted, but expected to be brief…unless you’re getting in-depth about business (a question about a particular account or problem, for example), standing around for 15 minutes talking in the men’s room is considered weird by men. Usual restroom conversations that do happen generally fall along the lines of “Hey.” “Hey. How are you today?” “Fine. See ya.” And usually don’t last beyond the last gasp of the hand drier.
Believe me, gay men know these rules inside and out, backward and forward. It’s a survival skill. The last thing you want to do in the restroom of a college-town sports bar is break these rules…
