I had a hard time connecting with kids at the tutoring center I worked at. This is because I am a 6’ 2" bearded male with a deep voice; kids find it very intimidating for me to be looming over them. I used to wonder why they’d just stare at me blankly when I asked them a question- now I realize they were probably scared s***less of me. My manager pointed out that I should adjust my behavior to try to overcome the intimidation factor.
Nowadays, I am able to connect with kids quite well by finding common interests. I like watching cartoons, am hip to toys and Collectable Card Games. Suddenly I’ve become cool and popular to them
Dear lord, what I wouldn’t give to look a bit intimidating! I must have a sympathetic look about me, because, for some reason, people seem to want to spill their life stories and tales of woe to me, even if I’m a complete stranger.
I’ve always said I’m a “nut magnet” because I’m frequently approached by some very scary people. I’m polite, so I can’t just tell them to “shoo,” and so I end up listening to lengthy discourses on how the Jews are taking over the world, how the Democrats are trying to turn this country into Soviet Russia, and how the aliens are really nice people, despite the bad rap they get about the anal probes.
I must have the look of a push-over, because I’m a magnet for every charity and salesman. I also tend to have people try to bully me, though I’m a lot tougher than I look.
I get treated totally different than my mom when we go shopping. Many sales clerks have lost my businees because of this. See, I’m 26 (look 18-20), 5 ft tall, 120 pounds. My mom is 51, 5’4 and just over 300 pounds. I love my mom, and respect her opinion in everything I do. People treat her drastically different almost anywhere we go. I get the “small, young, kid” treatment, and she gets “invisible” treatment. Judging people by their appearance REALLY pisses me off. But you couldn’t tell by my post, could you? FTR she makes less than half of what I do, so the kid treatment, really infuriates me, I have money to spend. And the worst part is the ask to help me, and often I am buying something for her, so she is the one they should be helping.
Well, I tend to get ignored in crowds as I am a fairly average person who just doesn’t stand out. (Male, 5’6", 160lbs, average looks, short hair.) Of course I like it this way, as no one ever bothers me, and I decide when I want to interact with people, they don’t come up to me.
A startlingly large number of people assume that I’m lazy, jolly and not all that bright. They’re wrong on all counts. I’m so used to this that I’m often looking to take advantage of the situation, even before it’s revealed itself.
I have similar problems to Kyla and irishgirl, just today somebody thought I just graduated from high school and I finished uni 3 years ago so its a challenge I think their first impressions of me are way off base and its hard to get ppl to take me seriously. Being petite I think has been harder because I think they think im not that strong, I’m too young, or not capable to do the job once they’ve seen me. It’s just weird.
I look wholesome. I could wear a skintight dress, four inch heels, and a Tammy Faye amount of makeup and apparently still come off as an “Ivory Girl” (does everyone know that reference?–old soap commercial)
People trust me. Bank tellers don’t ask for my ID. No one (except my husband) swears around me. Folks often express surprise if they see me drinking. I’ve often thought I could be a great spy.
I used to hate this. I wanted to be a woman of mystery, majestically beautiful, a little intimidating, but now I find wholesome a pretty good way to get around.
Yeah, I have th wholesome look too, in addition to looking younger than I am. One of my best freinds used to call me Sister Mary, because I was th innocent one in our group and never got their references and jokes (sexual related).
Shy people find me intimidating because I’m sometimes loud and crazy, and I can talk a lot. I’ve actually tried to start a conversation with a friend’s girlfriend, after they had been dating for two years. She told me she thought I was intimidating because I seem to know everyone. (We hung out in a very large, diverse group of people, and I could hang out with the goths, the punks, the hippies, the death metal kids, the freaky kids, and the normal kids all alike.)
I’m not sure what people think of me based on my physical appearance. I’ve had people act either very polite and nice to me, or like a total ass both based on the fact that I used to have a reputation as a brawler. Imagine that, goofy old me. 5’6", a little hefty, but I think I’ve only knocked two people out. For some reason the reputation stuck, although I haven’t been in a physical confrontation in a long time. (Those days are so long gone…)
I’m 5’3", female, and look somewhat younger than my 37.5 years. I am physically stronger than I might appear to be. Sometimes people think I’m a college student when actually I am faculty. And very old men tend to hit on me, which is just as icky as it sounds.
I also (apparently) have the sort of face that causes total strangers to approach and ask for help and advice (“Did they get my hem straight? Do these bananas look ripe to you? What kind of birthday card should I get for my husband?”). Or else they are wack-jobs who are drawn to me for reasons unknown. Maybe I should practice snarling and being surlier, and then they’d leave me alone.
To those people who wish they were intimidating: it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Sure, nobody messes with me 99% of the time, nobody asks me to move, or touches my stuff, or strikes up random conversations with me. BUT, I have to work extra hard to make people comfortable around me (especially women). If I don’t smile and make jokes on my first meeting with someone, they might avoid talking with me for a long time. And while being 6’4" and 300 pounds mean very few people are willing to pick fights with me, it also means I become a target for every Scotch Superman out there. This is not good, because I may be big but I’m not especially good at fighting, nor do I like violence.
All my classmates and a lot of my professors think I’m stupid. I suppose it’s because I’m in a Greek organization, I invest some time in my physical appearance, and, truth be told, I lack a lot of common sense. But I’m really not stupid - I blow the curve in all my classes. Nobody knows it’s me. Which I suppose is ok, except I have conversations like this all the time…
Them: “How’d you do on the test?”
Me: “Pretty good.”
“Oh, really? I heard someone made an A.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Do you know who it was?”
(I stare at the ceiling)
“YOU? YOU made the A? Huh…”
I know what you mean. I got the second-highest ACT score in my senior class, and it clearly frustrated some people in my Honors English class who were 5-6 points lower. I guess if you were big, a football player, and wore ratty T-shirts to class (only cause we were poor) it was supposed to MEAN something about you. :rolleyes:
I’m 20 but I look more like 16 (after looking like I was 14 for about 7 years), and people treat me like a little kid. In fact, I get called Kiddo all the time, even by people who are younger than I am. Pretty much everyone apologizes if they swear in front of me - they won’t apologize to other people, but since I look so young and innocent (ha!), I must be offended by the queen mother of dirty words, the F - - - word.
i say “the” boobies rather than “my” boobies, because at this point they’re threatening to declare independence and set up their own autonomous state in my bra.
do you know how hard it is to appear classy and intelligent when you have freakishly large boobs?
no, really, it’s hard to be taken seriously.
like i say, i’m 98 pounds, and all my body fat is on my chest.
30E boobs sound fun…they’re not.
they’re so out of proportion to the rest of me, they look fake.
you know how people love to tell you that they don’t apporove of cosmetic surgery when they think you’ve had it?
no?
i do.
you know how you’re supposed to wear loose clothing to disguise them?
a burqa would have trouble disguising the boobies.
they cause me nothing but grief.
but i’m still too fond of them to take drastic measures.
Are you my girlfriend in disguise? Because I swear you sound just like her in that post. She had large boobs as well (“the girls” are currently a 36DD, and she is only 5’6" and 120 lbs…most of which seems to be boobs!)
As per my own experiences:
People tend to think I am older than I am…or at least I think they do. I’m only 20, but I’ve had a lot of people tell me I look older, in the 22-24 range. Granted, this doesn’t usually cause problems, but a lot of times I would be in class and other students or the prof would think I was a senior, and in that respect, have to be dump to be taking a freshman or sophomore class.
How do you dress? I doubt you dress very conservatively. This could have something to do with it. Also, girls who dress in a not particularly conservative manner, and are “flirty and a bit outrageous” usually to fall into two categories: 1) girls who are easy, and 2) girls who want to appear easy.
