[QUOTE=Malacandra]
I think it’s possible to be more into making good things happen to the person you’re with than into enjoying the sensations yourself. If it’s about your own pleasure, a few minutes twice a week with some free Internet porn will probably do the needful. 
[/QUOTE]
Sounds damn dull, though.
People have mentioned going for the post menopausal women. Remember:
They don’t swell
They don’t tell
They’re grateful as hell.
Plus you might find a wealthy widow who’ll put you in her will.
Have sex with guys, no chance of kids. (I know someone else said it, just thought it warrented repeating)
[QUOTE=ZipperJJ]
You need to find yourself a nice cougar who’s had her tubes tied. Or one who’s already in menopause.
Hmmm…on second thought, those usually come with kids.
[/QUOTE]
Well, yes, “coming with kids (or, at least, much younger men)” is pretty much the hallmark of a cougar. 
[QUOTE=Malacandra]
If it’s about your own pleasure, a few minutes twice a week with some free Internet porn will probably do the needful.
[/QUOTE]
Internet porn is a lousy conversationalist, and never screatches my back.
I feel used.
[QUOTE=Sunspace]
Internet porn is a lousy conversationalist, and never screatches my back.
I feel used.
[/QUOTE]
Aw, scratching someone else’s back is almost as much fun as having one’s back scratched. It’s kind of like oral sex that way.
[QUOTE=Sunspace]
Internet porn is a lousy conversationalist, and never screatches my back.
[/QUOTE]
On the other hand, it never nags you to do the chores, and it never asks you what you’re thinking about right now.
[QUOTE=Antinor01]
Have sex with guys, no chance of kids. (I know someone else said it, just thought it warrented repeating)
[/QUOTE]
I wish I could, it would make a lot more sense, but I don’t find them sexually attractive. I really *should *. The connection between the female reproductive apparatus and birth really should be enough to put me off women permanently. In fact, the connection between said apparatus and my *own *birth should be enough. I think it was Stephen Fry who said that he knew he was homosexual about two seconds after being born, when he looked up and thought to himself: “Phew! No way am I ever going back in one of *those *again!” I can certainly sympathize.
[QUOTE=erie774]
People have mentioned going for the post menopausal women. Remember:
They don’t swell
They don’t tell
They’re grateful as hell.
[/QUOTE]
Now, that is advice. Though I am worried that older women might remind me of my mother, which would seriously creep me out. Also, they don’t really do it for me. Of course, as I get older myself, I notice that I continue to be attracted to women at around my own age. So perhaps this will be an option in about 20 years or so.
[QUOTE=Peak Banana]
The connection between the female reproductive apparatus and birth really should be enough to put me off women permanently. In fact, the connection between said apparatus and my *own *birth should be enough.
[/QUOTE]
Don’t forget it’s got teeth, and they’re coming for your penis!
[QUOTE=Cat Fight]
Don’t forget it’s got teeth, and they’re coming for your penis!
[/QUOTE]
Well, you never know!
[QUOTE=Telperien]
Sounds damn dull, though.
[/QUOTE]
You’re telling this to me?
[QUOTE=Malacandra]
You’re telling this to me?
[/QUOTE]
Perhaps you need more interesting porn?
Hmm, if we can change signs you be DANGER: HIGH VOLTAGE and I’ll be CAUTION: Slippery When Wet and we can see what happens from there. 
[QUOTE=Telperien]
Perhaps you need more interesting porn?
[/QUOTE]
Are you voluntering?
[QUOTE=Malacandra]
Are you voluntering?
[/QUOTE]
There’s a whole internet out there, man; there’s no way what I could produce could be that much more interesting.
Celibacy is diesease I wish on no one. I have it. It’s symptoms include a scrunched angry looking face, contempt for men with women, and a very lonely apartment. Don’t do it! Learn from me!
[QUOTE=Peak Banana]
Now, that is advice. Though I am worried that older women might remind me of my mother, which would seriously creep me out. Also, they don’t really do it for me. Of course, as I get older myself, I notice that I continue to be attracted to women at around my own age. So perhaps this will be an option in about 20 years or so.
[/QUOTE]
These women do it for me:Michelle Pfeiffer (49), Susan Sarandon (51), Helen Mirren (62), Julianne Moore (47), Rene Russo (53), Annette Bening (49), Sophia Lauren (73!), Raquel Welch (67!), Catherine Deneuve (64), Holly Hunter (49), Felicity Huffman (45), Andie MacDowell (49), Iman (52), Isabella Rossellini (55), Frances McDormand (50), Christie Brinkley (53), Cheryl Tiegs (60!), Heather Locklear (46).
If any of them remind you of your mother, then please introduce me to your mom! MILFs of the world unite!