I totally agree! It’s not about living a perfect life, it’s about making the best of everything.
As sucky as my day was yesterday, I still managed to get through it feeling pretty good. I think that my baseline of happiness is improving a bit each day.
Hmmm. This is interesting. I think some folks who were brought up in more “hellfire and brimstone” type religious backgrounds might feel that life is to be endured, troubles are to be tolerated, etc. as a test of character, and that you don’t really get to be happy until you die and go to Heaven. I’m picturing some poor grumpy old soul up in Heaven, unable to enjoy the pleasures of Paradise because he or she never learned how to be happy. 
Kolga, I call that “Woody Allen Syndrome”: all those well-meaning, overeducated people who keep overanalyzing every aspect of life until they can’t enjoy anything any more.
I know this probably sounds simplistic but it works for me. I get these quotes of the day mailed to me and I read them first thing in the morning with my coffee. I leave the TV off and start my day off this way. Most of them are very good and they make me see something from a different perspective. If my day starts off loud, noisy or someone calls me with negativity it seems to linger on into my morning.
I also pray every morning and every night. It isn’t formal prayer just my own dialog. I thank God for another good day and in the morning I ask to be of maximum service to others. When I forget to do this my days don’t go as well. I am surrendering my day over to my higher power. I’m self will run riot if I’m not spiritually fit. Meditation is the same thing and I think it helps us to stay in touch with our souls. Life can get so darn busy and I forget my primary purpose.
I think the journaling sounds good too. I love to journal and should get back to it. I had a very sad day last week and I just let it be. I let myself be sad and feel the feelings. Feel, deal and heal type thing. I woke up the next day and felt so much better. It sounds like you are very happy most of the time so you were just due a blue day.
I thought I’d give an update.
I’ve been sticking to it for two or three weeks. My life has changed completely! It’s almost disturbing how quickly and fully things have come together.
I’m still writing in my journal a few times a day- just quick updates and my “three good things” every day. It has helped me see patterns in my feelings and get a better handle on what things make me feel good. It also reminds me of how much good stuff I do have in my life. I was worried that it was becoming a crutch, but I think I’ve got it reasonable.
I’ve started to drink small amounts of alcohol with good friends. I think I am no longer using it to avoid my emotions, so using it in moderation seems reasonable.
The hypnosis is still wildly successful. Honestly, I feel like this has maybe changed things the most. I have so much more confidence and perspective, and I can link it directly to the suggestions in the hypnosis program I am using (using Andrew Johnson’s iPhone apps, FWIW.) I never thought it’d work, but it does.
I’ve finally gotten over what I think is the big problem that has been holding me back- a failed relationship that set off a spiral of bad feelings and negative thoughts. For the first time in months, I have been able to see things for what they are and have been able to go through the process of forgiving and letting go. And it has worked pretty much completely. It’s like my entire perspective shifted. And when I think about it, I feel nothing. It feels kind of strange to feel nothing, but it’s liberating as well. I think not only have I made it possible to move, but I have finally moved on. Thank god!
I’m a lot happier, a lot more confident, and embarking on some really exciting projects in my work. The stuff that used to get me down just passes right by me these days. Even things that would normally be tragic (for example, I lost my contacts and have to wear glasses indefinitely- a childhood nightmare!) don’t really get to me.
I’m SO glad I started doing this!
Awesome news! Btw, what country are you in now?
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I thought I’d give an update.
For the first time in months, I have been able to see things for what they are and have been able to go through the process of forgiving and letting go. And it has worked pretty much completely. It’s like my entire perspective shifted. And when I think about it, I feel nothing. It feels kind of strange to feel nothing, but it’s liberating as well. I think not only have I made it possible to move, but I have finally moved on. Thank god!
Great news! I was going to work yesterday and passed by my ex who I had not seen in months and I felt nothing too! Nothing is not a bad thing!I just drove on by. 
Still in China. I have a few more months left. I’m starting to enjoy myself a bit more now that I don’t have so many personal issues clouding my perspective. But mostly I’ve been away for four years and am more than ready to see my family and friends.
Four years in Peace Corps has been an amazing journey in a lot of ways. I have learned so much, discovered a new direction, and matured so much. It’s also been a big of a long hard slog physically, mentally and emotionally. When I go through the final ceremony and get on that airplane, I can be content that I have truly lived up to a great challenge and accomplished something meaningful.
Luckily, somehow I kept myself together enough to do a good job on my grad school applications. I’m currently deciding between University of Denver and American University- both very good schools in my field (International Development.) I have a lot to look forward to if I can just wait out these last few months.
Unsolicited advice time: go to American. There’s so much in international development going on in Washington, you’ll just have WAY more opportunities open to you than you would in Denver.
I sometimes do wish I had chosen to go to a school in DC for this exact reason, and it didn’t even occur to me when I was applying to grad schools.
I keep going back and forth.
DC is obviously the place to go, career-wise. I also have a ton of RPCV friends who are working there, and it would be nice to have a built in friendship/career network. American has slightly better name value. I hear very good stuff about American’s ID program. They even have professors that are experts on Sino-African relations. Finally, DC has plenty of cultural offerings and a large African expat community.
But, in reality I will probably be in DC for the rest of my life if I like it or not. I am very much a California girl, and it would be nice to to be in the west and away from that whole culture for a few years. Plus, Denver’s 300 days of sunshine is sounding REALLY good right now. The town I’ve spent the last few years in has only 60 days of sunshine a year and the weather is practically driving me insane. The idea of living someplace is that is actually nice and has some connection to nature is sounding really good after two years in the blank-skied industrial hell hole.
I’ve been in touch with some people who went to Denver and are now working in Africa, and they have nothing but good stuff to say about it. It seems like a more caring and personal program. And it is very RPCV friendly (I’ll get the PC fellowship.) Finally, the program seems a bit more practice-oriented, which is what I am looking for right now.
Maybe I need to start my own thread on this!
Well, I’m sure you’ll make the decision that’s best for you, and it sounds like you want to go to Denver more. I remember looking at their program, too, and liking it, although I ultimately decided not to do a degree specifically in international development. (I’m not sure how different my public policy degree with be, though, considering the courses I’ve taken. Public Health in Developing Countries, Urban Planning in Developing Countries, International Education, International Human Rights, etc.)
Someone I did PC with is currently doing her MA in International Relations at Georgetown and although I don’t envy her program at all (too academic, not practical enough) I am regularly jealous of the events she RSVPs to on Facebook. There are just so many cool events in DC! We do pretty well here in Ann Arbor, lots of big names are brought in by the university, but it can’t compare with DC.
Just my perspective.
Just want to say that I’m glad you’ve perked up.
You sound like a very gutsy person.