Friday a week and a half ago my car died. My piece of shit 1990 Dodge Dynasty had the gall to quit on me. In morning rush hour traffic. In the middle of the street. Not five minutes after I had reflected that it was payday, most of my bills were paid, and I might finally be able to do a little something extra for myself, like get a haircut or buy a new pair of shoes.
Fast forward a week later, my car is finally fixed. To the tune of $1350. Fortunately for me, the bastards that are charging me this exorbitant amount have the heart to let me pay in installments over the next month through post-dated checks. With the first payment of $750 being cashed tomorrow. They’ll get their money, all right, what with us getting paid early this week due to it being a holiday week and me having a very paltry amount in savings to add to my paycheck.
Do I have any left over for the next two weeks? No. Do I have daycare money for this week and next? No. Do I have groceries for the next two weeks? No. Gas money? No. Fuggetabout Christmas, I’m telling my kids Santa’s broke this year. Do I have friends and family that are extremely well off? Yes. Their response? “Bummer. If your car’s still broke over Thanksgiving, we’ll come pick you up. That’s how much you being there means to us.” Oh gee, well, thanks… glad to know I’m so loved.
I pit myself for being a poor single mom with a sucky family. I pit my car to hell and back for not being steady and reliable. I pit my friends for knowing I’m a good person who’s always there for them, yet they can’t be there for me. I pit my job for not paying me enough to deal with life’s little emergencies. I pit my son’s father for being a deadbeat son of a syphillitic whore who hasn’t paid a dime in child support and keeps managing to skirt the system. I pit day care for costing so goddamn much. I pit the City of Tucson for not having a community program in place to help with things like this for working parents. I pit my son’s Department of Developmental Disabilities caseworker for not returning my calls in the last week so I can find out if they have any emergency funding. And last but not least I pit my stomach, which I know is going to selfishly protest when I choose to feed my kids before myself.
Christ on a cracker, my life sucks.
I’ll just add a hell yeah to your rant and add my own. I pit my teeth, myself for not taking care of my teeth properly, my parents for never taking me to a dentist, my bizarre chemical makeup that makes me resist painkillers, my boss for being a douche, my uterus, the holidays, bad programming, scratched CDs and my hair.
And how about you let me send you a few bucks to tide you over, yeah? You got a PayPal account, mayhap?
Okay, now I’m pitting this clear liquid that’s somehow gotten into my eyes. I haven’t cried in 3 years, over ANYthing. My point to my pitting was not to rake in some bucks, and normally I’d have way too much pride to accept, but I guess I have to put eating before pride and say, why yes, yes I do have a paypal account. I’ll email you. You’re a doll.
Shit, I’m not a doll. I’ve just been hungry before and know the mass suckage that it truly is. Hey, while we’re at it, I pit my parents for being assholes who never had money for groceries but always, always had money for Chivas Regal and Virginia Slims. Motherfuckers! Hey, I had forgotten that one. That’s an oldie but goodie rant right there!
And don’t worry, no one thinks you’re looking to cash in. We’ve all been there, and if we haven’t, we should be grateful we can give a little boost to someone else.
Damn that weird eye stuff anyway.
I’m so, so sorry this is happening to you. I have been there, about 15 years ago. It sucked horribly. Have you checked out Catholic Social Services? When I went through this, they gave food without asking a single question, no “proof on income” any of that crap.
Our city has a program by which the utility companies assist families in need for christmas. I am not sure how you get on, but perhaps your local charities? And DON’T feel bad. You’re a working mom, you are exactly the person these programs are for.
I can’t believe the auto shop gave you only a month to pay. That’s truly horrible.
Whoops. PS, have you tried calling that new childcare agency? I’m not positive, but from the few glances I’ve seen at it, it seems to be a federal one. (I hope). I’ve seen it advertised on TV occasionally.
Whoops. PS, have you tried calling that new child support collection assistance agency? I’m not positive, but from the few glances I’ve seen at it, it seems to be a federal one. (I hope). I’ve seen it advertised on TV occasionally.
I don’t know how to act when somebody does something for me. As a mom of three and a “caretaker” by nature, I’m always the one doing things for people. Extremely independent, I never ask anyone for anything. I know my friends and family well enough to know not to. I set up a Paypal account years ago, but have never used it, and apparently never “verified” it, so it may take a couple days. I’ll still email you.
And you can’t tell me that you’re not, I already knew that you were.
Okay. I’m off to bed now, but I’ll be up at 4:00 a.m. and your e-mail should be in my box.
By the way, I can send it Western Union if you know where/how to use them. It’d be faster.
Oh, I didn’t see you there, Canvas. I know about the programs for electricity and gas, I’ve referred people when I couldn’t help them. However, I just paid a bill, early, so won’t get another for a couple weeks. And even then, I believe you have to have shut-off notices for agencies to help. Believe you me, I have lain awake many a dark hour this week considering my options. They are, in the end, slim to none. I’ve considered going somewhere for food, but actually, and I may be spoiled rotten, but I’m picturing some canned green beans and powdered milk. But I will have a good day at work tomorrow to call places.
I’m actually kissing the mechanic’s feet for letting me actually pick up my car without having paid them a dime. I picked it up last Friday and the first check will be taken from my account tomorrow. (Direct Deposit, don’t fail me now!)
As for the sperm donor of my children, he doesn’t work, see. He is awaiting a ruling on Disability. Which will give me my share, apparently, but because my youngest son is also on Disability and I work, they will just deduct the amount his father contributes from his SSI check from my son’s SSI check. Which I will go ahead and pit while I’m at it for only being $20 in December, because there were three paydays in October. Down to $20 from SSI on December 1 from it’s usual $580, which I could have really used.
The food banks here, while they do have a lot of demand this time of year, also have a lot more supply this time of year. Try them - you never know what you’re going to get, I once spent a long Saturday volunteering to razor out the recalled toys from boxes of cereal the cereal people had donated, for example. And Mom says the government cheese used to be real good. 
Also consider local churches - many of them want to help you but don’t know who you are. Maybe they even want to adopt your family for Christmas so your kids will get something for the holidays? Ditto things the news people and the city does - I don’t know what your situation is where you live, but here they’ve got a Familes Helping Families thing that I assume you apply for, and your kids get a little something under the tree. Don’t be too proud to ask for this sort of thing - you’re exactly who it’s for, after all.
Also, I think my e-mail is in my profile - drop me your Paypal info and I’ll try to send you a little something. I don’t have much, but I can spare a few.
Women of the Dope ROCK.
Upon further review with PayPal it seems maybe all any of you need is my email address. Which you should all have by now.
Did you e-mail me? Your address isn’t in your profile, and I haven’t gotten anything yet. (My mail might just be slow, of course.) I was going to try to PayPal tonight, but I can always do it in the morning. It won’t be much, but it sounds like any little bit would help you out some.
Hehe, see this is what I get for trying to type too fast and being unclear. The utilities in our town actually get together and proved Christmas for families in need. Presents, xmas dinner, the whole 9 yards. The families names are turned into one or more of the agencies, and then a certain amount (depending on the funding) are drawn out of the hat.
The names of the kids in the family, sizes, wish list, etc is given to the dedicated shoppers. Then, on christmas eve, the reps show up and give the families the christmas packages and food and stuff.
Maybe there are some agencies in your area who do something similar?
Do you have yahoo instant messenger? That’s how I contacted her.
Got it, thanks.
trublmaker, could you email a list of some things your kids might want for Christmas, and your address, to me at lindalee at ucscalumni dot com?
trublmaker, please email me as well. We’ve finally started to do okay financially (relatively speaking) with the new business, but there were several times in the early days we were in a similar situation and somebody helped us out.
I guess what i’m saying is if I could help you out with a couple of bucks, shoot me an email. If you’d rather see some things for the kids, I’d be honored to help out a little there instead.
Life’s can be pretty unfair sometimes, and it doesn’t matter how hard you try or how good a person you are. That’s why we have to help each other out.
Email me!
tublmkr, please send me your email or paypal information.
My email address is in my profile
.
trublmaker, me too, send me your email address to yakmarie at comcast dot net. I wanna help ya too. Everything doesn’t have to suck.