In Which I Pour Salt on an Emotional Leech.

The BBQ Pit
1

There is this woman, Moe, that I slept with a couple of times. (Not my wife, this was just a year ago.)

We live about 80 miles apart, we are both widowed, we hit it off pretty well.

She suddenly gets married to a guy she knows from her bowling alley; coincidentally, his name is also Mike.

However, Mike the New Husband doesn’t like sex very much.

Moe, however, loves sex. A lot. Especially oral sex, both ways.

As it turns out, I also enjoy oral sex. A lot. Both ways.

Well, Moe only has on friend to turn to to complain about what she isn’t gettting.

You guessed it. Me.

Now, I’m all for getting your jollies whnever and wherever you can, and I certainly would have an affair with her if the opportunity presented itself. But…

Moe has nothing better to do than to sit on her computer ALL DAY and wait for me to be online. Then she sends me Instant Messages. Not complaining, mind you, but just mentioning that “(sigh) again, I didn’t get what I like… and you KNOW what I like…”

Yes, Moe, I know what you like.

Today, I got bold. I told her that her options, as I see them are to suffer miserably or leave the guy. But, she says, divorce isn’t an option. She marries until death. And she reminds me, again, that her first husband died.

She said today that she’s almost ready to have an affair. I told her to let me know when she’d like me to come down for a day or so.

Haven’t heard from her since.

I hate women.

2

Be careful, or she’ll start suggesting that you kill her husband for her.

3

Let me get this straight, you’re complaining because she won’t commit adultery?

Nice.

Shut the fuck up and try to find some honor.

4

Wow. I was all with you until that last sentence.

I think what you did (telling her that you’d “come down for a day or two”) was the perfect way to get her to shut up and leave you the hell alone.

And you are mad because your grand plan (it was your grand plan, wasn’t it, to get her to leave you the hell alone?) worked?

I don’t get it.

Unless you seriously wanted to “come down for a day or two” and, well, you know.

In which case–what a stupid, absurd, ridiculous thing to do! Why would you want that kind of hassle, that kind of baggage, sleeping with a married woman?

Yeesh.

5

Whoopsies. I came into this thread to smack some sensibility into Leechbabe about the benefits of her upcoming surgery, and to dampen her trepidation re the same.

Seems like I am in the wrong thread. :smiley:

If you are reading this Leechbabe. rest assured I will not actually SMACK you…but I’ve a couple of decent books (of trite reading) if you wanna borrow them for your imprisonment!!

:wink:

6

Maybe you’re the only friend she confides her frustrations to because you’re the only one who doesn’t roll his eyes and change the subject.

7

So grow up and figure out what you really wantt - do you want her to leave you alone and quit the on-line flirting, or do you want her to put her money where her mouth is (so to speak) and go through with the affair?

Maybe your offer to come visit her made her realise that she doesn’t want to cheat on her husband after all, in which case you both got lucky.

If she does come back to you and say “Come on over”, I think you should decline gracefully. Extra-marital affairs are just not worth it.

8

I’m with A Monkey With a Gun here. Don’t you dare cheat with her. She married the guy, now she has to live with it. It doesn’t matter how well you guys get along sexually. Like you said, she either has to live with it or leave the guy, and it seems she’s not ready to leave him.

My advice: block her and never speak to her again.

9

I was put off by the last sentece as well, but then I reread the post, and got a different impression. So I’m giving Mikie the benefit of the doubt here. This is what I surmise.

  1. He states that they hit it off, and they both liked sex, but she ended up marrying someone else. So I sense some bitterness.

  2. He’s perturbed further that she relentlessly communicates her problems to him about this new husband - a problem that they did not have.

  3. He’s happy that she has left him alone, so far, but feels rejected, because he knows that he can satisfy her.

10

Oh my God! Are you sleeping with Eats Crayons’ co-worker?

11

I’m confussed.

Are you married also, Mikie?

I see that you say you are both widowed but then you add:
“(Not my wife, this was just a year ago.)” .

Did your own wife pass away a year ago or…?

I have to agree with the others though: She made up her mind. She knows her options.

This whole thing is just a bunch of bad news.

12

Fortunately, no, this Moe isn’t Eats Crayon’s cow-orker.

And, BNB sorry for the confusion. No, I’m not married. My wife passed away in 1998. To further complicate matters, see, I’m largely gay. I came out of the closet after my wife’s death. So, while Moe and I could certainly have good times, I fear I’m certainly not relationship material for her.

Lord Ashtar, I think your advice is best. Block her and walk away. Thanks.

13

YIKES on this line:

Does THAT ever set off my alarm bells loud and clear. Glad you’re walking away, Mikie.

14

So who’s the emotional leech? I can’t really tell from reading the thread. :rolleyes:

15

Man, Mikie, you are some piece of work. You still don’t get it.

The problem is not that Moe is being an emotional leach, it is that you have lost all sense of how a decent human being acts. The OP shows that you have no concept of fidelity (“and I certainly would have an affair with her if the opportunity presented itself”). Additionally, you admit that she’s “Not complaining, mind you, but just mentioning” that her sex life is a bit wanting. She’s speaking to you as a friend. She isn’t the problem, you are. It is your teenage like inability to seperate sex and friendship that is causing the problem. If you truly were honorable, you would respond with something along the lines of “I’m sorry, Moe, but because of our past history, this subject makes me a bit uncomfortable. I’m here for you, but let’s stop this line of conversation before we do something we both regret. Anyway, how are things besides that?”

Your second post shows that in addition to being immature and dishonorable, you are also a moron without any concept of the word platonic. Sex doesn’t have to be involved, you stupid fuck. If you are truly “mostly gay”, then it should be even easier to maintain a friendship with this woman without sex. It’s what you should have done in the first place. As soon as she married, you should have strived to keep the relationship platonic.

I was going to let you go after my first disgusted post, but I think you need to hear this. You seem to believe that this woman is somehow at fault and that you would be best to “block her and walk away”. If you are not strong enough to pursue a relationship without sex, then yes, you should walk away. However, don’t for a second think that that will get you the moral highground. She’s not at fault here. It is your own immaturity and lack of a moral compass that is causing your discomfort. If you were a better man you could remain her friend. But you’re not, so walk away.

16

All for the nookie, yosemitebabe. All for the nookie.

17

Or it could be that they could have some kind of an arrangement, or otherwise not be monogamous.

18

Uh, Mikie, if you like having sex with women, you’re not gay; you’re bisexual.

No wonder you’re so confused.

(And leave the married woman alone. It’s just bad news all around.)