I found out at the tender age of 13 that my idols would betray me and that there was no point in having them, anyway.
That’s when KISS put out Beth. Some of you might remember it as a hokey but tuneful song. Me, I thought they copped out huge. I remember sputtering “where the F$%K is the guitar, you assholes!?!”
The list goes on and on, unfortunately. Rockers perfectly capable of knowing better without fail will ultimately shed their cred and put out a wimpy piano* ballad.
Fortunately, I’ve managed to block many of these travesties out of my mind completely, as they aren’t worth the space. So, my fellow dopers, share with me the moment one of your favorite rock bands dropped one of those steamers and how you felt about it.
Don’t get me wrong; the piano is a beautiful and versatile instrument, and yes, it can be made to rock quite swimmingly, as well.
Does it have to be a piano ballad? Cause I’m here to tell you, when I first listened to Selling England by the Pound, that thing on the end of the first side had me saying “Please, somebody put Phil Collins back on the drums and leave him there!!”
The fact that he won’t cop to it is what’s disappointing.
And sure, Ají de Gallina and Le Ministre de l’au-delà, I didn’t mean to single out piano ballads so much as songs that are out of character, and not in a good way. Buzzkill ballads, as it were.
I still fondly remember a Metallica concert I went to, back when Nothing Else Matters was on every radio and TV station, 24/7. Right in front of the stage were these two or three rows of preppy teenage girls (well, teenagers in general, but my sexist mind’s eye remembers the girls most), all ready to woooohoooo and wave lighters around. You could hear giggles echoing to the rafters as the guys calmly came on stage.
The collective look of utmost horror and shock in their eyes when 'tallica started their set with an angry Battery still warms my heart.
Why, thanks for acknowledging that - I felt it was important.
My point in the phrasing was the HSH was so incredibly out of character AND hackneyed that it seems to epitomize the OP, IMHO. The plinky piano that sounds one step above “Chopsticks.” The caterwauling vocal, with just enough nasal qualities to wonder if it can be used as a duck call. You can hide inside the bombast of Looks That Kill and claim credibility, but HSH? WTF?
Not really. “Piano Man” reached #4 on the adult contemporary chart and reach 25 on the pop singles chart. And his breakthrough hit “Just the Way You Are” (#1 AC, #3 pop singles) was also a ballad.
So you all are one note kind of folk or what? A band can’t have more than one mood or way to express itself? Ugh.
IME, KISS never “rocked” at all. Of course, KISS came into prominence when I was already a teen (not a tween or teenybopper) so we never considered them to be a rock band in the slightest. They were for 11 year old boys. To have them create a soft ballad showed that they could at least do more than play with makeup, but I digress.
