In which scott evil bares his soul and admits he has a problem

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

Scott, I’ve also enjoyed your posts, and I can’t believe I’ve only known you a few months. I’m not an alcoholic, just a straight depressive, but I’ve known enough to realize you’re going through tough times. I also know a lot about feeling like a failure. Just remember, the secret is to get up one more time than you fall down. You are standing at the moment, and there are a bunch of people around here, including me, who are willing to offer you a shoulder to lean on or cry on.

Good luck, lad, and add me to the people you can e-mail if you need to. My e-mail address is in my profile.

{{{{scotth}}}}
CJ

22

You don’t know me, either, Peter, but I just want to say, as the adult child of an alcoholic, that you can and will beat this. My mother stopped drinking seven years ago, after drinking since about 1940. Just stopped.

If my mother can do it, anyone can. I admire you from afar for your courage, your stamina, and your bravery in admitting and accepting. You are on the right path. You are strong enough to stay on that path. If you ever want to vent, cry, or just talk, my email is in my profile.

I am very, very proud of you. Just like everyone reading this thread.

You go, guy.

23

I’m proud of you, Scott, for taking this first step. Email’s in my profile if you need to vent.

Tell you what, if we meet at a DopeFest, I’ll trade AbFab lines with you over some sparkling grape juice, non fermented, ok? :slight_smile:

24

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Peter}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

That did take a lot of guts, and I’m proud of you for it. I, too, fight the same battle every day, and so I can understand what you’re going through. It’s not an easy battle, but it can be won. Just take it a day at a time.

If you need a sober buddy to hang with in NYC, I’m too happy to do it. If you like, I’ll ask around for good meetings, since I’ve got a few friends in the program there. And if you need to e-mail or chat, well, feel free to.

Robin, sober now for 3524 days

25

It’ll be tough, but it’ll be worth it. Stay strong, stay healthy, and do what you know is right.

Best wishes

26

Alcohol is a very tough habit to kick, and I wish you the best of luck.

You did mention three sober years, so I won’t mention how great it is, you should already know.

Having bourne this burden myself I’ll share with you some of my reflections. I often asked myself, “Why do you drink Forbin?” The answer I arrived at was, “You thirst.”
I can’t say for sure, but I’m think that for yourself the answer is very similar. We all have needs, and when they are not met we assuage ourselves with alcohol. I never did solve my problem with regard to my own needs (I’m still a lonely man) but simply knowing that this thirst was the mechanism that drove my drinking was helpful.

I’m glad you pointed out the loss of mental clarity issue, as it’s one of the principal evils of excessive drinking. There were days when I could barely do the work of a greenhorn in my own trade. I had always taken great pride in being among the best, but was unable to “deliver the goods” when “in my cups”. And, as you know, the clarity issue haunts the drinker the next day as well. When I felt my mind slipping, I really got (which emotion of the frigging range should I cite?) hurt, angry, and disgusted.

Mercifully, I have zero desire to drink again. The thirst has vanished.
I now respect and love myself more than ever, and I have the ability to energetically engage in the miraculous task of being a living person. If you feel despair, and who wouldn’t, I assure you that you can do it too.

Take back your life.
Get well!
Once again, I wish you the best of luck.

27

why are you scott evil instead of peter evil?
:confused:
{{{{peter}}}} The first big hurdle is over-and we’re here if you need us.

go scott evil!!!

28

Scott (or Peter), I respect the courage, strength, determination, etc. that it took for you to post this. We definitely care a lot about you, and if you need to talk, my email’s in my profile. (then again, you’ve emailed me before, but that was some time ago, and you might not remember the email address)

Guinastasia, I believe it might have something to do with Seth Green, who plays the Scott Evil character in the Austin Powers movies.

F_X

29

Scott, I know you have a long road ahead of you but I hope you know you don’t have to walk it alone. Anytime you need anything we are here to support you. Good luck.

30

Many wonderful ears and shoulders here for you and I would just like to add mine to the list.
My moms girlfriend has been sober for something like twenty years now.
She (and a few others I know) carry their first chips. My grandfather put holes in the colored ones and she carries those on a key ring the heavier ones are in a box on their headboard.
Even though we are not her children she has a box set aside for each of us with little momentos in them.
Pictures she has drawn or taken of special events we have shared.
In my box (that she won’t let me touch!) is the first chip she got the year her and my mother met and the first meeting we attended as a family.
I am very proud of her if you can’t tell.

Good luck Peter.

31

{{{{{{scot evil/Peter}}}}}}

I know you can do this. Let me add my name to the list of dopers you can email if you need to talk. It’s in my profile. Please keep us posted on the SDMB. You already know that this is the best message board ever and you got thousands of dopers cheering you on.

32

Well done. If nothing else, posting this thread will have the peer pressure going for you to stay strong. :slight_smile:

33

I’m usually up nights if you need to chat or email.

Good luck.

34

Good on you.
I wish you good luck and all the strength you need.

35

One omore person you dont know but who REALLY enjoys your posts checkin in. Congratulations! They say the first step is the hardest… whether thats true or not I suppose depends on the person. What counts is that you stepped. Now get out there and kick some butt! Don’t let those wicked, satanic, corporate toads control your life!liberal dose of smart ass here

Hang in there. You can do it.
Otherwise I send psycho kitty up to Montreal…

36

{{{{{everyone}}}}}

I’m overwhelmed by this incredible show of love and support. All of your well-wishes moved me to tears yesterday. Not only do I have the folks at AA - who have been where I have, who know how it feels, who have managed to be lifted from that horrible pit - I have you guys too. I consider myself doubly lucky. :slight_smile:

I went to the meeting, in spite of the horrid weather. One of the people who introduced himself to me, when I told him my name, said that my sponsor’s boyfriend had called him, and to be on the lookout for me. :slight_smile:

The speaker was good, and I took a newcomer’s chip at the end of the meeting. The woman who gave it to me I’ve known ever since I first joined all those years ago. She gave me a huge hug. I said to the group that I was back because I wanted my life back.

I have the chip in my pocket.

I slept alright last night, although at one point I woke up, started coughing (I smoke far too much), and threw up. This morning I had the shakes pretty bad all through my body; they were almost like convulsions. I’m lucky, though, as one of the meds I already take is in the same class of drugs that they give people to help control the shakes and the initial anxiety, so it shouldn’t be as bad as the first time around.

I’m in a good mood today. Unfortunately I won’t be able to make it to a meeting tonight, as I have to work late for the next three days. I should be able to make it to one tomorrow, definitely one on Thursday, and back to my old home group (gay & lesbian discussion group) on Friday.

Sure, I’m still scared shitless. I just have to remember that it’s just for today. If I don’t pick up a drink today, then I’m on my way. I’m not thinking about tomorrow. I’ll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.

Thanks again, truly, from the bottom of my heart. I’m tearing up right now. I feel blessed to be in the company of such wonderful, caring people. And keep those replies coming! Every single one is helping me stay sober. :slight_smile:

37

Fight the good fight. I really look forward to seeing the results in January. We’re going to have a fantastic time, I know it.

38

Scott, or now we know you as Peter. The job, the money, all the other things are nice that you would lose if you don’t stop. But that’s not what matters. What matters…is that you are a human being worthy of love, friendship, a full life. All these Dopers putting words on the screen, they are heartfelt, sincere words of encouragement and caring. Add mine to them. It’s you, the person, that we care for. Email any, all, a few, of us when you feel that grip start. Nothing you feel is too small, email us. You deserve your place in this world, sober and full of life with no worries.

39

I want to join in the chorus here to let you know that I respect your choice here and wish you success and good health!

The initial post took courage and that will help you through today.
-Rooting for ya!

40

Scott, you’re doing great. You’ve found the courage and the drive to help you along. From what you describe, it sounds like you are in good hands with your friends here on the board and in real life. You have the right attitude. You’re going to get through this.

I’m new to posting here, although I have lurked here for almost two years. I’ve read a lot of your posts, and I know that you’re a great guy. Just stay positive and focused. Keep the strength and never never never hesitate to depend on your friends for support and encouragement.