Love is like a rabid squirrel. It’s cute at first, but once it latches onto you you can’t stop screaming, “AAAA! Get it off me! GET IT OFF ME!!” whilst running around and flailing your arms.
Not a funny one, but:
Love is like chinese finger cuffs: the harder you pull the tighter it gets, but the more you relax the more comfortable it is.
Love is like a prostate exam: it’s good for you but it’s a major pain in the ass.
Thought of another one.
Love is like mexican food before bedtime… it tastes really good at the time, but you wake up in the morning, in pain, and ask yourself “What the hell was I thinking!?”
Oh, and hey, Lisa!
Love is like a pet badger. Don’t ask it to jump through too many hoops and it won’t get pissed off and rip you to shreds.
Love is like a Ford Pinto. It’s cute and petite at first, but if you try to rearend it, it’ll explode into flames and try to kill you.
Love is like the Donner Party. The guy refuses to ask for directions, everyone gets lost amid the griping and accusations, and then the inevitable happens.
Love is like a Cambodian restaurant with barking coming from the direction of the kitchen. Don’t think too long about what you’re eating.
“Love is a smoke rais’d with the fume of sighs;
Being purg’d, a fire sparkling in lovers’ eyes;
Being vex’d, a sea nourish’d with lovers’ tears:
What is it else? a madness most discreet,
A choking gall, and a preserving sweet.”
–Romeo and Juliet, Act 1, Scene i
This isn’t really a love similie, but my favorite description of a sappy love line came from an MST3K General Hospital short:
“You wiped your feet on the doormat of my heart.”
Sorry - no similie, just a metaphor.
I never did fall in love… I just stepped in it a few times.
Damn you, man…I was just chomping at the bit to post that one!!! Well you forgot the other two:
“Love is a slippery eel that bites like hell” attributed to Bertrand Russell 
“Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine-gun” attributed to Kierkegaard 
Groening’s a fucking genius!
Elvis, stofsky: if love is a pain in the ass, you’ve been doing it wrong.
Love is like a giant yellow backhoe-loader. It can work marvelous wonders. It can move mountains. It can tear the hell out of your front lawn, too.
I don’t know who did this 80s song, but the chorus is…
“Love is like oxygen.
You get to much, you’ll get too high.
Not enough and you’re gonna die.”
Looking for My Day-Glo Clothes and Rubber Bracelets,
Patty
“Fall not in love, therefore, it will stick to your face…”
Love is like cleaning the toilet. At first, it’s all bubbly and exciting. Then you realize he’s full of shit.
Oh, leave him alone. He knowth what he’th doing.
The band was ‘Sweet’.
I’ve just spent 10 minutes laughing hysterically at the thought of the ‘ice weasels’.
[nitpick]
Actually, Forrest said that life, not love, was like a box of chocolates.
[/nitpick]
i have no idea what love is like, but the thought of it is what keeps us all moving forward. by the way when you say ice weasel are you referring to my ex girlfriend?
OMG!!! I laughed so hard when I read that!!!-thanks for brightening my day, Elvis!
Love is like overcarbonated Coca~Cola, tastes right when you have it, but when it’s gone it leaves a funny aftertaste
Love is like herpes. It may happen the first time or it may happen after many people, but once you’ve got it, it’s yours for life.
“'ve just spent 10 minutes laughing hysterically at the thought of the ‘ice weasels’.”
“Ice weasels?!?!” WTF? Is that the name of a Canadian punk band or some such thing?
Imagining a Band Called “Ice Weasels,”
Patty
P.S. Thanks for telling us who did that 80s song. Now I must play it on my radio show…
Never mind - I’ve just reread the previous posts…
Feels Stupid But Still Thinks “Ice Weasels” Would Be a Great Name for a Canadian Punk Band,
Patty
Love is like an apple: even the perfect looking ones can be sour or have worms.
Love is like a habanero: it may be the best thing on earth but it hurts like hell.
Love is like taming a wolf: one wrong move and it’ll bite your head off.
hmm… now I think I better go eat; too many food analogies to let it go unnoticed.