I don’t know that I would call it unacceptable to do this. But something feels a little…off…about having a party at a restaurant that serves one kind of food only. Sure it is her birthday and she can do what she wants, but I see where you’re coming from.
It’s *her *birthday, princess, not yours. Why should she cater to what *you *want?
Why are you so adamant that you will never ever try sushi, no way no how? You *do *know that it’s not all raw fish, right…?
So, no Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Thai, etc. places either then? Only diners or American style chain restaurants?
See, I see a big difference between going to a place some people may not “approve of” and going to a place where some people may not be able to find anything they want to or perhaps can eat.
Also, I think the OP’s friend is aware of the issue by telling people they should eat first if they don’t like it.
Of course I may be biased. My wife has dietary restrictions that mean that there are restaurants in town she absolutely cannot go to because their menus are quite limited, and she can’t eat anything they serve! I know this is not the case with the OP, but it illustrates the issue with a place that serves one kind of food only.
No, that isn’t at all what I said. Please don’t put words into my mouth. “Mexican” includes a huge variety of foods; the Mexican restaurant down the block from me has probably thirty five dishes on the menu. Very different kinds of dishes, with different seasonings, wildly different ingredients, a good deal more broad than any sushi only restaurant I have ever visited, The Chinese restaurant in the other direction has triple that many dishes. Again with a very wide variety. I will admit to not much liking Indian food, but I can easily find something I can eat at an Indian restaurant. And I don’t suppose the OP would have difficulty at a more broadly defined Japanese restaurant. To my mind, going to a specifically sushi restaurant–a sushi ONLY restaurant–is much less like going to an ethnic restaurant and much more like going to a place that only serves 43 varieties of sausages. If you don’t like sausages or can’t eat them for some reason you’re sunk.
And I’ll repeat it again…your average ethnic restaurant would be just fine by me.
I’ve been invited plenty of times to places with food that I don’t particularly like. I don’t expect birthday boy or girl to poll all their friends and figure out the lowest-common-denominator restaurant that will displease everyone the least. I mean, come on, it’s their birthday. Least they deserve is their pick of fare, I figure. If I really, really don’t think I could find something on the menu that will please me, I’d fill up beforehand, and just order drinks, enjoy the company and conversation. I personally think it’s pretty weird to be upset about this.
I wouldn’t be upset about it, personally. But I can understand why someone might be. Especially given that people in the OP’s circle don’t seem to talk, leaving nothing left to do but eat food you dislike.
Just get the Chicken Teriyaki. Even ‘sushi-only’ restaurants have chicken teriyaki. Its the only way i survive those sushi joints. 
This whole thing sounds fishy to me.
She’s giving herself a birthday party, at the guests’ expense. At a place where she already eats at least once a week, so not special. And she knows some people won’t like it.
Are people bringing gifts? 
I think of social events as more about the company than the food, but apparently that’s lacking, too.
I would be questioning where I wanted to be in this group.
You could always fill up at Olive Garden first.
If you’re squicked out at the thought of eating raw fish (and note, though, OP didn’t actually say that), consider that sushi doesn’t necessarily always contain raw fish. The necessary ingredient in sushi, that by definition makes it sushi, is vinegared rice.
Raw meat or fish, absent vinegared rice, is sashimi. Sushi and sashimi are commonly confused with one another, at least on the American side of the Pacific Pond.
Did the invitation actually say on it that guests are welcome to eat ahead of time? Well, now, it just doesn’t get much more considerate than that! Suggestion: Buy your birthday friend a very nice birthday cake! And eat the whole thing yourself at home before you go! (Or, save the leftovers for yourself for later.) Be sure to bring pictures to the party.
This thread reminds me of the story of The Fox and the Stork, from Aesop’s Fables.
life would be less stressful if the person who is fussy about food takes care of it themself instead of expecting others to bend to your will. many people do out of courtesy but it is not required.
but it is the point. it’s her birthday and like us, she probably finds it difficult to comprehend that someone could genuinely not even want to try it. we’re not talking about some disgusting food or something extreme that requires a trained palate here.
that’s not the same thing at all, have you also not tried sushi before? it’s more 43 varieties of dishes on similar balls of rice.
I have pretty much zero tolerance for birthday parties and bullshit and even I think she should choose wherever she wants for her birthday celebrations. And I am someone with some dietary restrictions who would struggles to find things to eat at some restaurants (lookin’ at you, Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles!).
Damn, now I want sushi.
Another option is to call up your friend and say, “I’m not a fan of sushi but I really want to see you. Let’s go out to another restaurant later this week. My treat.”
This way, you avoid the evil sushi and the annoying people.
If this is something you and the friend wouldn’t normally do, then that tells me you aren’t really close friends to begin with and that she’s DEFINITELY not obligated to bend over backwards to accommodate your food preferences.
I find people who are unable to appreciate “foreign” food uninteresting and boorish and generally when I run into such a person I find them similar about other things and would rather not be bothered with them.
If she knows that many of her invited guests dislike sushi (or the thought of sushi), I would find it a little self-centered of her to locate her BD party there. But in doing this, she would take on the risk of having a poor turnout–a prospect that would bother the self-centered and non-self-centered alike. So it’s probably wrong to assume she selected this restaurant without prior knowledge that sushi was enjoyable (or at least tolerable) for most of the people she invited.
I can’t eat any type of seafood. But I can make do at seafood restaurants because at least in my experience, they ALWAYS have something for those of us that don’t eat fish. They’d be stupid not too. And as has been said. Not all sushi is fish.
I actually do think it’s an apt comparison (you can have pork sausage, duck sausage, blood sausage, boudin, kielbasa, vegetarian sausage, sausage with potatoes, sausage with rice, sausage with peppers, sausage with broccoli, etc, etc; have you not tried sausage before :)).
But my bigger point was in response to the assertion that a sushi-only restaurant is equivalent in breadth-of-menu to a Mexican restaurant, a Thai restaurant, and so forth, which it is not. (And I say this as someone who does eat sushi, which I mentioned in my earlier post.)
I also think it’s an interesting comparison because some of the responses to the OP are all about the sushi (OMG how can you not like sushi?? how can you never have tried it?? what’s wrong with you that you don’t eat “foreign” food??). If these responders replaced “sushi” in the OP with some food they don’t particularly like (such as, perhaps, sausage) it would be interesting to see if their stance changed. Just a thought.
With regard to this, in my experience, usually everyone pays except for the guest of honor (birthday girl/boy or the person who is leaving the company). We all contribute enough that the guest of honor’s meal is covered.
Tellus, welcome to the SDMB.
Do you mind sharing what it is you believe about sushi that persuades you that there is no way you could find something to eat (and even enjoy) at this party?
As for the question of whether her “attitude” is inconsiderate, the way you chose to sum it up:
suggests that you want us to feel like we don’t have any choice but to agree with you.
“This is the interpretation I want to place on her addendum. If you don’t like it, tough; just decide HOW inconsiderate it is, and chime in anyway.”
And we’re not even your best friends! Well, yet. Anyway, along with quite a few other Dopers, I choose to look for a more charitable way of interpreting your friend’s invitation. Unless she is actually hosting the party and buying dinner for her guests (and to this prescriptivist language purist, that is what the term “invitation” implies), her motivation is likely to be “I want everybody’s memories of the party to center on how much fun they had, not how starving they were by the time it was over.”
The OP has not mentioned any dietary or religious or cultural or mental blocks to eating sushi - they have in fact simply stated that they have not and will not ever eat sushi.
I do find it a little weird that someone wouldn’t at least TRY a type of food before deciding they hate it and it will never pollute their person.
If you have reasons to not try something, then ok yeah - I may not agree with the reason, but you have one.
To not try a whole category of food (or a whole category of anything, really) based on preconceived notions - which has to be the fact in this case, as the OP has not had sushi and therefore can have nothing BUT preconceived notions? Yes, I find that regrettable.
I have found that people who do that sort of thing to be a little odd, a little uncurious about the world, and more than a little stubborn and insistent of their own rectitude, regardless of factual input.
If the OP had instead mentioned that they had tried sushi before, and haven’t ever found any of it to their taste, then I would feel sorry for them (sushi is awesome) but I wouldn’t hassle them about it - you can’t decide what you like and don’t like.
It’s the attitude of denying a whole category of something without even trying it that I find a little odd.