Why I Hate Group Sushi... by Auntie Em

The BBQ Pit
1

This is my first thread-starter in The Pit… I only hope I can do justice to this fine forum with my petty rant for the day (and yes, I do know it’s petty, so no need to remind me how good my life is if this is all I have to bitch about–I know).

Here it is:

I hate going out for sushi with other people. Why? Because there’s always at least ONE cad (or cadette) in the group (even if there’s only two people) who wants to implement the popular practice of “Sushi Swapping”, which I hate.

Lissen here. When I go out to eat sushi, I like to order what I want, and EAT what I ordered. I do not want to eat part of that Spicy Tentacled Monstrosity YOU ordered in exchange for part of what I ordered. Had I wanted any of what you ordered, I would have ordered it for myself.

Please do not take this as selfishness, or unwillingness to share my food with you. If you’d like a taste of what I ordered, I will gladly give it to you, without expectation of anything in exchange. However, if you’d like more than a piece, get your own damn order. I’d sooner lend you my copy of “Hey Soul Classics” than give up half of my dinner for half of yours.

Do you expect this of me when we go out for coffee or BBQ? No. So don’t expect it when we go out for sushi.

I personally suspect that the most annoying of the Sushi Swappers enjoy the practice because it allows them to get over on those of us less willing to “experiment”, because this way:

a) they can order something they might hate, and only get stuck eating half of it (supplementing their meal with MY unagi-avocado rolls), OR

b) they can eat half of what I ordered, and then, when I elect not to partake of my share of the Octopus-Ass roll with Oyster Poo, shrug and eat the rest of it, which means that they’ve now eaten the majority of the food, but are only getting stuck with half the bill.

Also, it’s funny how people take it as a personal affront when you express your unwillingness to Sushi Swing. Is it because that makes it impossible for them to enact Evil Plan A or Evil Plan B above? Or do they just think you’re afraid of their cooties? Why can’t they just accept the fact that you want to eat what you ordered???

OK. I’m done now.

Hoo. I feel better.

And that gooey gelatinous glob of Would-Be-Baby-Quail I was forced to suck down last night in exchange for half of my California Rolls is becoming a distant memory…

Horrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk!

OK, maybe not…

2

Good rant, auntie em, and as good a way to quietly celebrate your centennial post as I can think of. I’ve never been approached by any Sushi Swingers (had to give homage to that excellent term), so I guess my sushi life is about as mundane as my sex life. Continuing the analogy, I don’t care to experiment that often with much choice of sushi preferences; I’ve learned what I like over time, and tend to stick to the tried-and true. But every once in the while, I just happen to be in the right mood to try something different. But I’d rather not be pushed into a sushiI’m not ready for.

Come to think of it, I’ve had a lot more sushi lately than…oh, never mind.

3

Sadly, this is not confined only to sushi. There are people of this ilk who will cross-pollinate meals no matter what the cuisine.

The spousal unit is famous for turning down any offer of dessert, yet when my scrumptious meal-ender arrives, she dives into it with a gusto she normally reserves for Chippendale’s calendars.

“But I didn’t want a whole dessert,” she’ll say smugly, while fully two-thirds of mine disappears. Yeah, but I DID. That’s why I ordered one.

However, I have encountered this phenomenon more often with sushi-eaters. Dunno why, exactly. Maybe they figure sushi is the current version of fondue, in that sharing is de rigueur. Perhaps a firmly-applied chopstick over the knuckles would be in order.

4

Hear hear! Orderign sushis isn’t like ordering Chiinese or Indian food, where you order a bunch of dishes and then everybody shares. Sushi is a one-on-one experience between the diner and the sushi chef, even if you’re eating in a group. You sit down, you check the boxes next to the yellow-tail, the tuna, and the sea urchin roe o-nigiri, plus the Spicy Salmonskin roll, then you hand it to the chef. You get only two pieces of exquisitely cut fish on a pillow of vinegared rice per order; why would you share? Even a roll only gets you six pieces of crunchy goodness that are yours and yours alone.

5

Thanks for the validation, Wisest Novel. I think I’m particularly bitter today because I thought that part of my life ended when I left Northern California…

(Then, it was usually a large-group Sushi Swapping Situation–grad students–where S/he Who Eats Fastest Wins, Or At Least Doesn’t Starve)

I moved back to Kansas, see, where nobody WANTS sushi, and my friends/family will only go with me if they can order tempura or something… so I don’t have to share.

Turns out, though, that I have a fellow sushi-lover in my old pal Mary…

Well. You know the rest.

I sucked down a raw quail egg last night, is all I have to say.:rolleyes:

6

/slight hijack

I have the same problem with group orders of multiple pizzas. I get the pepperoni and sausage, everyone else orders the mushroom, pepper and other vegetarian horrors. What happens? Well I get one slice of the pizza I wanted and the others have devoured the meat pizza with only a token piece or two taken from the veggie pizza.

It got so bad I complained loudly, and the result was a pizza referee who made certain I got my fair share.

7

Eh, I’m not impressed. Now if you were to eat natto, that would be something. That stuff is YUCKY!

8

Oddly enough, I don’t KNOW anyone who takes this tack with Chinese or Indian food (and at least in THOSE situations, you’d have a spitting chance of getting full DESPITE giving up half your dinner)! It’s like Sauron said–seems to be a phenomenon particular to Sushi consumption.

And maybe Ethiopian food.

Hmmmm…

BTW, that was a lovely narrative… the pillow of rice… the crunchy goodness…

OK, this is rather antithetical to my OP, but being forced to share last night awakened me to the taste sensation of MAYO as it applies to sushi construction…

I must say I was delighted. A salmon handroll that tasted like a BLT. Fabulous! :smiley:

9

Damn poseurs. I think most people like the idea of vegetarian pizza, but when the boy in the red cap comes a-knockin’, and the smell of that sausage hits the air…

I, actually, do NOT like meat on pizza. But you’re right; in group situations, all of the people who SAY they’re in my camp, and are going to share my pizza, end up stealthily reaching for the pepperoni when they think everyone’s eyes are on the movie…

Interesting phenomenon you’ve uncovered.

And I absolutely LOVE the concept of a sushi referee! Now, does the appointment change with every gathering, is it a one-month term, or what?

10

I don’t eat sushi but yea, that’s obnoxious.

I already have enough picky eating habits and I know that what I ordered fit them. I’m also fairly sure that what you ordered didn’t. When I say I don’t eat _____ I mean that if offered the choice between eating it and not eating anything until the next meal time comes along, I’ll go hungry. (In survival situations where it means starving I will go around personal preferances. I might even eat mushrooms.)

I think proper chopstick to knuckle application is called for.

Mr. Miskatonic, I hear you on the pizza deal. I love green peppers and pepperoni. I loathe sausage, mushrooms, hamburger, onions, and anything else that I simply refer to as “crap”. Please, when the pile of us order pizza, don’t insist that I can make do with just pepperoni while you get your veggie-meat-crap laden pizza only to eat all of my pepperoni slices.

11

Oh, my God, I can’t even WATCH someone eat that. It looks like snotty diarrhea over rice.

12

I hate food-sharing (whether sushi or other kinds) especially because I’m a vegetarian. Occasionally when I protest someone will say “Oh, I’ll order something veg too, so you’ll have something else.” What if I don’t like or want that item? What if you’re stupid and order something with meat sauce/bits in it that I don’t know about, and due to you pushing your unwanted food on me, I’m ill and throwing up by the time I get home, because I can’t digest meat? Bug off and get away from my food.

13

I have the solution to your problem. Let me tell you a story.

Mr. Kitty and I married rather suddenly. No one in my family knew until a good three months afterward. We went to visit and have a “reception” seven months after the wedding. Remember: this is the first time he’s ever met my parents.

We picked up chinese food and brought it back to the house. Mr. Kitty was making up his plate when my mother started whining about wanting a “bite” of his food (my mom is the classic food-stealer). He told her if she reached into his plate, he’d stab her with his fork. Thinking she was safe because of course he’d want to make a good first impression, she reached over.

He drew blood.

In the 5 and a half years we’ve been married, she’s never tried that one again. :smiley:

My dad thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

-BK

14

You never told me you married my sister (or that she, um… has apparently had a sex change)! She is the consummate fork-stabber. :smiley:

Luckily I’m not one of those people who had to learn that the hard way. :smiley:

As much as I LOVE! your story, I have to say that:

a) chopstick stabbing doesn’t have the same effect, and

b) when ALL of the food comes out together on one giant wooden block, it’s harder to protect your own than when it’s on your plate! :stuck_out_tongue:

At any rate, RIGHT ON for Mr. Kitty!

15

I have the solution to your problem. Let me tell you a story.

Mr. Kitty and I married rather suddenly. No one in my family knew until a good three months afterward. We went to visit and have a “reception” seven months after the wedding. Remember: this is the first time he’s ever met my parents.

We picked up chinese food and brought it back to the house. Mr. Kitty was making up his plate when my mother started whining about wanting a “bite” of his food (my mom is the classic food-stealer). He told her if she reached into his plate, he’d stab her with his fork. Thinking she was safe because of course he’d want to make a good first impression, she reached over.

He drew blood.

In the 5 and a half years we’ve been married, she’s never tried that one again. :smiley:

My dad thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

-BK

16

Wow… how did I manage to have a half-hour delay double post?

Weird.

AE, I’ll pass on your kudos to Mr. Kitty. :slight_smile:

17

I love food-sharing! Most of the time though, I don’t really think about it (i.e. my friends and I don’t consciously plan on food sharing, it just happens).

One of the reasons in favor of food sharing (especially sushi) is that it saves money and it doesn’t waste food. I’m not going to order an entire roll just to find out that I don’t like it and then throw away the rest.

Fortunately, everyone I hang out with does this as well, and so the end result is that we pretty much have tried everything on the menu, without breaking our bank accounts.
Some of the best food sharing happens at:

Tapas bars
Sushi bars
Chinese restaurants
Fondue joints
Korean restaurants
Pizza parlors
Coffee and pastry shops

Going to any of these places with acquaintances is, in my opinion, inviting trouble if you don’t like sharing food. My personal feeling on it is that eating out is a social thing and part of the social interaction involves sharing food.

If you don’t like food-sharing, I will respect that. Please don’t get offended if I ask though, especially at any of the above listed eating establishments.

18

Re: sharing food at Korean restaurants

Some Korean food is meant to be shared among friends and washed down with liberal amounts of beer and soju. Dishes cooked over a brazier, like bulgogi, kalbi, samgyupsal, and takkalbi are intended to be eaten by a group. Rice and noodle-based dishes, like bibimbap and naengmyon, are not easily shared.

The Japanese also have communal eating and drinking parties, but with the exception of okonomiyaki, Japanese dishes are not large enough to be shared. If you want to have a rollicking good time geting loaded with buddies in Japan, go to a robatayaki where the cooks fry up tasty items that they serve on sticks. Mmm-mmm!

But keep your grubby mitts off’n mah sushi.

19

I would never be offended if you ASKED… but the assumption that I’m GONNA share, when I might not want any of what you ordered in return, is what chaps me.

I’ve been to many a sushi joint or tapas bar where there was mutually-agreed-upon sharing of food–i.e., we decide togetherwhat everyone is willing to put into his or her mouth, and stick to that list when ordering–but to me, making the Sushi Swap Assumption without consultation is the equivalent of Taxation Without Representation. :wink:

20

I wrote a play to solve your problem.

A Sushi Lover’s Problem Solved
by
B.N. Baboon
(Upon entering sushi bar)

Auntie Em:(outloud) Gosh, I wonder if that’s a cold sore I am getting?
(cue Japanese music)
(upon receiving food, put chopsticks in mouth and touch each piece as if trying to decide enny meeny miny moe fashion)
(spot light on sushi chef)

Auntie Em ( to Sushi Swapper before they ask to sawp): It’s is simply amazing to me how horribly contagious cold sores are. I NEVER had a problem until I ate sushi with this one guy… I mean who knew that coldsore germs could outlive wasabi? Lucky for you I am a caring friend and would never do this to any of you.

(bat eyes in caring way)
(eats food in peace)
(curtains fall)

<fin>