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- I heard of a strange situation recently: I can’t give any names, but, , ,
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- Player #1: Older single female, no kids, never married & ticking loudly (very loudly) wants baby of her own. Financially stable & with family who can help if necessary. Tends to date younger men. How young? Well, for instance, the same age as-
- Player #2: Younger male, single - never married, not particularly interested in matrimony or children. He has never dated or otherwise been involved with #1. They are aquainted, that’s all.
- If you haven’t guessed, player #1 wants player #2 to do the deed. No clinics or test tubes; Just Do It. No financial strings attached, basically he doesn’t have any money to get but she does kinda want him around now and then to play Daddy. If feelings stick between the two, “we can try that.” If not, that’s okay too. The baby’s the thing.
- #1 sees #2 as her last best hope: she doesn’t think she’ll find anyone before it’s too late, and it’s getting real late.
- He told me about all this. I can’t mention it ITRW because they’ll know who I’m talking about (it’s supposed to be a secret). Is she crazy? And should he or shouldn’t he? - MC
Reeks of a bad plan…
Sorry to use a cliche here, but think of the children…
The real issue here is the future child: What will that kid go through when it finds out it’s got a “rent-a-dad”?
If this lady is so desperate to have a child, there are plenty of wonderful children available through adoption. The are kids that would love to have a mom.
You say “cheesy” like that’s a BAD thing.
And FYI, there are financial strings attached. #1 as mother does not have a legal right to waive the support claim of the child against #2 as father. The simple fact that the mother does nothing to collect does not make the obligation go away.
If, God forbid, something should happen to the mother, the child’s custody would go to someone else. Perhaps it’s the father, in which case support issues solve themselves. But suppose the mother entrusts someone else with custody (which custody the father could challenge, but let’s not even go there). The new custodian would have the responsibility to seek financial recourse from the father if s/he were unable to take care of the child from her/his own resources.
The potential mother is not crazy. While adoption is IMHO a better option, many people want a child that is genetically “theirs.” This is normal.
But he should run, do not walk, away from this.
Livin’ on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
Moral issues aside (as they so often are) the young man would be out of his mind to go along with this. To be used as a free stud service is, shall we say, undignified, and to accept a promise that he won’t be financially involved is naive. What if she becomes ill, or loses her job? AFDC won’t hand out money in most states unless the single mom names the father – he could easily end up with the state after him for money.
What if she finds out that working when one has a newborn isn’t easy, and decides that he can support them for a while? He’d be insane to go along with it, and she should grow up. She can adopt an older kid; there are many who are longing for a loving mom. Does she want to have a baby, or does she want to raise a child?
Catrandom
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- She comes from a mixed family - birth children and adoptees. I don’t know her that well, but it seems that a big part of it is having a baby. - She seems to be playing “If you won’t do it, nobody will” card.
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- I should have such problems.
- Meanwhile over at MC’s stud service, the phone rests peacefully under a thick layer of dust. - MC
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- She comes from a mixed family - birth children and adoptees. I don’t know her that well, but it seems that a big part of it is having a baby. - She seems to be playing “If you won’t do it, nobody will” card.
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- I should have such problems.
- Meanwhile over at MC’s stud service, the phone rests peacefully under a thick layer of dust. - MC
Yes, it is indecent, in all respects.
I’m reiterating points already made, but men are not just sperm donors and children are not just nifty little genetic love bundles for those in pain. They are CHILDREN, real, live people.
Besides all the legal, financial etc. issues (outlined previously, more cogently) it is just plain WRONG to blackmail a horny young guy and use him to produce a child. It’s a huge wrong to the guy, and to the child.
So the old biological clock is ticking. Life’s tough, and sometimes prayers are answered but the answer is NO.
(BTW, I’m a card carrying female and have been all my life–grins to ChrisCTP, who is a kind person. Outing myself!)…In my case, biology said “No.” But that doesn’t EVER mean living a childless life.
IMO, the ol’ genetic impluse is greatly overrated. The “child of the body” doesn’t outweigh “the child of the heart”. As much as I love my family (weird as they are), it’s hard to delude myself that our collective genes are SO special and SO precious that everyone else is “second best”.
When in the wide, wide world of egotism will we stop looking at kids as THINGS and see them for the miracles they are?!?
So the old biological clock is ticking. Yep, shit happens and so what do you do about it? There are so many kids who want nothing more than a loving adult to adopt them.
Pity (not to mention hormones) can be traps. If the wannabe mamma wants a child, it’s wront to ambush a horny young guy. If she wants to be a mama, then she better grow heart, and sacrifice, and strength. It isn’t about her: it’s about the child.
If she’s serious…ADOPT! ADOPT! ADOPT!
Veb
Isn’t this one of the very reasons we have sperm banks? So one can have an anonymous donor in a case like this? Sounds like an all around bad idea to me.
Some mornings it just doesn’t seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps.
http://www.angelfire.com/ny3/zettecity/index.html