Industrial Grade Toilet Paper

Too lame to Pit, so I’ll put it here.

I’ve had the misfortune of having to take a dump at work the last two days. Yes, I know some people can hold it, but not me. When the bowel howls, I’ve got to go. It had been a while since I used the work crapper and I forgot just how bad the sandpaper, er, toilet paper is. If it can even be called paper. This stuff is about one micron thin, nearly existing in only two dimensions. Yet somehow, despite the thinness, it’s razor sharp. Honestly, did they coat the TP with diamond dust? Somehow I doubt it, since the goal seems to be to cut costs and rectums at the same time.

I’m not even asking for something like Charmin or Northern that would, you know, absorb and clean the area. Just something that would be an improvement over a corn cob.

So here I am, typing this and losing productivity because my butt hurts due to my employer being too cheap to buy decent TP. “Cheap TP…It’s Bad for Business.”

I can’t wait until the itching starts…

My bathroom at work has the same stuff. My father in law calls it “John Wayne toilet paper.” It’s rough, it’s tough, and it doesn’t take shit from anyone.

Ours is gentle enough, but it’s the huge rolls that bug me. The paper isn’t fed in the dispenser correctly so first you lose track of the free end, and then there’s a massive rebound of the roll when you rip off a length.

Be glad you don’t work in Cuba, even at MIC (computer ministry) we had to use sheets of newspaper for toilet paper, I bet my butt learned to read during my time there.

So do you fart in Spanish now?

I’ve worked as a factory janitor, and we had meetings with management. The one reason for both industrial grade paper and huge rolls is COST. The most uncomfortable paper is also the cheapest. The big rolls are cheaper yet, but you save in three more ways. First, nobody will steal a big roll to take it home. Then there’s labor saving. A small roll may last a day or two, but a big roll will last a week or more. Less janitor time wasted changing paper. And, did you ever notice the big roll gives you narrower paper?

Sadly, I’m going to have to look and see if the toilet paper is narrower.

Yeah, I have no doubt it’s cost. How about this…bring back pay toilets except give them good paper. I would happily pay a buck to use a work toilet that had good or even marginal TP. I’m sure the fine folks who make Charmin could make bigger rolls.

That is one of the reasons I always carry Kleenex

I refer to the lousy toilet paper at school as low-bid toilet paper.

Any reason you can’t store a roll in your desk/locker/whatever for when the urge arises?

Those Charmin wet wipes are made for this.

Take off the wrapping and you have a discrete box in your desk. It will also sooth your torn up hinder.
For a while I owned and operated a movie theatre. I was always proud of the fact that I bought Charmin at Sam’s Club rather than the the industrial stuff. Not that people use much at a movie theatre. (well, the ladies do) But since I was there all damn day, I sure wasn’t going to use that suff.

In my office we clip coupons and wait for Charmin to go on sale, then stock up. I will not tolerate cheap toilet paper here.

I’ve heard other people say that the reason they buy cheap toilet paper for the office is nobody will steal it to use at home.

kanicbird, I used to keep a roll in my desk, but I just couldn’t stand the mocking anymore. I’d always try to bootleg it, but somebody would always pick up on it and then the jibes would begin.

Of course I’d probably do the same thing if the places were reversed…

I think that’s probably my answer though. Just need to think of a clever-er means of transporting the good TP.

I’ve worked for the government most of my life. Government toilet paper is basically wax paper, only thinner and less absorbent. The paper towels by the sink are better.

Tourists going to some countries are advised to take their own toilet paper, because the local stuff makes better stationery.

I haven’t seen it in years, but one of my high schools had dispensers that gave you single pieces of 1-ply sandpaper. That stuff sucked.

At Ball-Mart they sell 1/4 rolls in the travel section. Small enough to fit in your pocket. My wife buys them all the time. I can’t imagine the amount of abuse I wouldn’t endure to save my my anus, though.

Oh yeah, you mean the “True Grit” brand…

I did take my own to Spain, but really only found one occasion to use it…a little stop along the way our bus was taking had no toilet paper at all.

I wrote my mother a letter on the toilet paper from our hotel in Edinburgh - with a pen and never tore the paper.

Elsewhere the toilet paper usually had the feel of waxed paper.