Inexplicable behavior of the opposite sex

Let battle commence!
Guys, girls; what is the most bizzare, hilarious behaviour of the opposite sex that you simply cannot wrap your head around?

Disclaimer: PLEASE keep this to a PG-13. I don’t really want to hear about genitals in here.
Also, I only want to hear it if you can actually provide an anecdote, rather than a sexist generalisation; ie it must be “My Husband did this…” rather than “All guys do this, aren’t they stupid?”
Geddit? Ok.

For me, the most incredible spectacle to behold is seeing at least three of four girls moving in to the toilets at the same time: BEFORE EVERY CLASS. Not only do they apparently synchronize, they would have to be removing about ten litres of liquid from themselves per day! Do they REALLY all pee in there at the same time, or are all but one just there for moral support? And what about the mechanics of the actions makes it take approximately five minutes, as opposed to a guy’s 40 seconds? I SIMPLY DON’T GET IT!

Try getting half undressed every time you pee and see how long it takes…

Pssss…come’ere. Wanna hear something REALLY funny? But don’t tell him I told you, k? k.

Okay, this MALE I know once went swimming at his health club. When he got into the pool area, he noticed this guy in the hot tub was staring at him like crazy. So the male thought, “what the hell is HIS problem.” He went around to get into the pool. Hot tub guy is still staring intently. Again, he thinks to himself, “what a whacko.”

Then a guy from the health club front desk comes running in screaming at him. “What is WRONG with these people,” thinks the normal male.

Finally, he looks down to find all his bits dangling in the mild health club breeze. He’s completely naked. He forgot to put his swim trunks on in the locker room.

Last Thursday, I got behind a woman driving a Toyota Somethingorother on my way home from work. I noticed that she was holding her cell phone to her ear with her right hand, and she kept drifting toward the center line. As I got closer I saw that she kept looking in her rear-view mirror, and I finally realized that she was brushing her teeth with her left hand! (I guess the car was on auto-pilot.) What really floored me was the bumper sticker: 'Don’t hate me ‘cause I’m beautiful’.

Um, ok, how about I just hate you 'cause you’re a MORON?! Jesus… :rolleyes:

If you’re really wondering what they’re getting up to in there, go and look. Bathrooms have all sorts of secondary functions in grade school.


Rereading this thread, I regret having posted the particular anecdote that I chose. FTR, had the driver been male, I’d have come to the same conclusion; but I should have considered more carefully the perceived message, given the context of the OP. SexyWriter’s ‘normal male’ should have kept me from falling into that hole, but hazel-rah’s post made me smack myself in the forehead with the Brick of Hindsight. :o

Ice, your request for avoidance of ‘sexist generalisations’ was negated by your own ‘anecdote’. I wish that I had read it more thoroughly, declined to participate, and saved my story for a ‘stupid people’ thread.

BTW, what you don’t ‘get’ about the ‘mechanics’ is that girls just pee slower than boys. No, really, I read it somewhere.

I gotta learn how to use that preview thing, too. :rolleyes:

They go shopping. They visit eleventyteen stores. They try on 14 dresses and 9 blouses. They buy one dress and two blouses. They bring them home. The next day they take them back!


How about when the female of the species goes “shopping” she must touch half the items in the store, and pick up a least a tenth of them? An ex-girlfriend used to do this. I’ve noticed other women doing it too.

On the contrary about the bathroom time thing, I know a girl who can go to the bathroom for #1 and finish faster than I can. Erm of course this same girl has the uncanny ability to pee standing up.

She was also brave enough to resort to peeing in a water bottle during a long car trip sitting in the back seat in a car full of guys (who were all loyally averting their eyes) and complete the task without getting pee on the back seat of my car. When my male friend tried this same stunt a few weeks later he wound up pissing all over himself somehow. :confused:

One of my high school friends hypothesized that while in the bathroom together they hold hands and sing “We are the World.”
When I was in Junior High about 15% of the girls would be out of P.E. action each and everyday. They would just sit over there on the grass talking while we hoofed around the track and other assorted atheletic activities. They would all be on the “rag” and not want to participate. All the boys took an instant dislike to this and wondered to ourselves “Have they no decency?” While I guess I understand it we knew many were faking because every friday when we had to run some ungodly distance the number of girls sidelined would rise quite dramatically. BTW our coach was male and obviously unable to call them on it.

A friend of mine went wiggy this week because she didn’t hear from her boyfriend from Sunday to Thursday. She assumed he was about to break up with her. They went out tonight, her fully expecting to be dumped. Apparently, it was just a busy week for him. Too busy to pick up the phone or drop an email to the woman who’s providing you with regular sex? I think not.

I don’t understand this behavior. To a woman in like or love, a day is an eternity. No contact for four days means he’s repulsed by you. Poor show on his part.

About 8 years ago. Get email from a female friend. Basically a one liner stating bad news about someone. I had already heard. A few days later, same thing. I thought she forgot she had already sent it to me.

A couple months go by, I learn more about it.

Oooooh. She wanted to talk with me about this. Then why didn’t she say so! She had just stated a fact. No “this distresses me” or anything.

Women, if you want a guy to know X, say X, don’t say Y. It’s not like there’s a million comics, Oprah guests, pop-psych. books pointing this out after all.

There is a pool in there. We use the buddy system (can’t swim alone you know) which is why we all go together. Take a quick lap, dry the hair, reapply the makeup. That’s why it takes so long.