Infants/toddlers in movie theaters

The BBQ Pit
1

I know this topic has been done before, but I just had a discussion with a friend on this topic, and I’m re-incensed. She was talking about how she took her 14-month-old to the movies, but they only got to watch 20 minutes of the movie because he became too loud, so they left. But, she tells me, he LOVED the start of the movie and was “bouncing up and down joyously in his seat.” That’s a direct quote. So, I tentatively ask her, what movie did you see? I’m thinking, had to be a kids’ matinee, right? “Attack of the Clones”, she says. For the benefit of those who are not aware, this movie opened today.

So she felt it was appropriate to take a toddler to the movies. That in and of itself is questionable, in my opinion. Toddlers can’t be expected to control themselves for the duration of a movie. They will yell, they will need to go to the bathroom, they will fling Cheerios, they will be toddlers. It’s a fact of life. The way to deal with this is not by trying desperately to suppress your toddler’s noises, but by leaving your toddler with a babysitter. If there is no babysitter, tough luck. That’s one of the hardships of being a parent. MrWhatsit and I rent a lot of movies for this very reason.

Second, she felt it was appropriate to take her toddler to Attack of the Clones on opening day. There are going to be a LOT of people at that theater who’ve had their Star Wars opening day tickets for weeks, and who have been looking forward to this movie for a long time. Do they want to listen to your toddler “bouncing up and down joyously in his seat”? No. No more than they want to hear the jerk behind them talking on his cellphone. If you absolutely must take your kid to the movies, take him to a kids’ movie. Attack of the Clones possibly falls into that category – I don’t know, not having seen it yet – but definitely NOT on opening day. Give the diehard fans a chance to go see it, and then maybe in a few weeks when the crowds have died down, then MAYBE take your toddler to see a daytime matinee. Maybe. Although I still think it’s a bad idea.

Third, she felt it was completely appropriate to allow her toddler to bounce up and down “joyously” in his seat. What the hell? Since when is this OK in a movie theater? She didn’t leave the theater with him until 20 minutes later, when he started talking and wouldn’t stop. So I’m guessing the people seated around her had to endure 20 minutes of joyous bouncing before my friend finally wised up and left.

This drives me nuts. Kids that age do not belong in movie theaters, period. They don’t really understand what’s happening on screen, and would probably just as rather be at home watching Blue’s Clues. Find a babysitter, or stay home. It’s that simple. MrWhatsit and I do not take Whatsit, Jr. to the movies, and will not take him until he’s old enough to understand what’s going on, and understand that movies are something that we do not talk during. If that means he doesn’t get to see a movie at the cinema until he’s six years old, so be it. That’s when I saw my first movie, and I haven’t been emotionally scarred by the experience.

And I don’t care if you took your infant or toddler to the movies and he slept the whole way through. Good for you. You got lucky. There was just as great a chance that the kid would wake up and start screaming halfway through, or demand to go to the bathroom, or whatever. Even if you remove the kid from the theater immediately, the other theatergoers still have to listen to you removing your child from the theater for awhile, instead of paying attention to the movie. There’s no excuse for it. Parenthood means a lot of responsibility and a lot of sacrifices, and one of those sacrifices is having to find a babysitter every time you want to go to the movies, for a long time.

Sigh. MrWhatsit and I have Attack of the Clones tickets for tonight and I’m just hoping that nobody leaves their cell phone on, brings an infant, or decides to narrate the entire thing based on spoilers they read on theforce.net. Probably too much to hope for.

2

I agree with you completely except for:

Actually, I’ve done that several times in my adult life. During much of Fellowship of the Rings, for example, or the rainy alley scene in Spiderman.

:smiley:

3

All I know is, I need to see every single movie I can before the end of July. The ones that come out after that will have to wait till they’re out on video.

Robin

4

we only take the kids to kiddie movies. at three and four they do understand what’s going on, and they’re pretty good. yes, they have to be told to be quiet now and then, they can’t remember not to talk for a whole 1 1/2. but if you don’t want to deal with little kids at the movies, don’t go to little kid movies.

but what the hell is wrong with a kid wanting to go to the bathroom during a movie? i go to the bathroom during movies. that’s what happens when you finish a large coke during the previews!

however, we went to see some slasher/vampire type movie (sans children, of course), and someone had a baby in one of the front rows. what the fuck? there are people being ripped open onscreen, and you’ve got a small child with you? the kid’s going to have nightmares until he’s 25!

5

Sorry, Cessandra, I should have been more clear. My beef isn’t with the kid needing to pee, but more the fact that most toddlers I know don’t lean over and quietly whisper, “I have to go to the bathroom now”, but rather anxiously tug at their parent’s sleeve, say loudly that they have to pee, start crying, or some combination thereof.

6

I’ve been to a coupla theatres that have enclosed balcony-like affairs, where folks with infants/toddlers can watch the movie through a nice sheet of insulating plexi-glass. Very civilized.

I saw two movies last week that were spoiled by crying children.

One was Spiderman, which I can halfway understand – maybe the parents didn’t understand that it wasn’t really a childrens’ movie.

The second one was beyond the pale, though: Unfaithful. What the hell?

20 minutes in, a very quiet scene.

Kid: “Nooo!”
Clueless parent: (Murmurmurmer.)
Kid: “Aaaaaaaah!”
Clueless parent: (Murmur.)
Kid. “I don’t wanna.”
Mudd: “Put a sock in it!”

(Nuclear family leaves.)

Who the hell takes their 4-year-old kid to see a steamy, sexy, murderiffic movie? What do we have R ratings for, anyway? Argh.

7

I don’t mind anyone of any age in a movie theatre as long as they’re quiet (except for appropriate emotions such as laughter at the funny bits etc). If it’s a kids’ movie - eg Disney - obviously there might be a bit more fidgeting in the audience, with more children watching. But too much noise/talking/crying in ANY movie by ANY one is antisocial and inappropriate. Little children need to learn appropriate behaviour in an adult world from the earliest age possible, to smooth their path in later life.

Parents of unruly kids can always rent videos.

8

The trouble is, though, when you have parents like my brother and SIL who don’t think their unruly kids are unruly. They see nothing wrong with letting them run around the theatre trolling for strangers’ popcorn - they very proudly related this story to us awhile back. The movie? “What Lies Beneath.” The kids’ ages? At the time, 3 and 4. Bet that audience went away thrilled with their movie-going experience!

We went to a movie with them once, about 4 years ago, maybe - whenever the first “Dr. Dolittle” was out. I won’t be seen in public with any of them again. God forbid anyone thinks those spawns of Satan are mine!

9

At a shopping centre (mall, to translate for you American types :p) last week, I actually saw a sign advertising a small cinema dedicated to babies and toddlers… the idea is they can make all the noise they want, and the worst that happens is they add to the noise from the other kids. I thought “Damn, I wish I’d thought of that.” The plexiglass thing sounds equally clever.

THIS annoys the hell out of me. Parents ignoring movie ratings and bringing young kids to movies. Okay, I understand that here in Oz you might have a 14 year old that’s mature for their age and you think it’s cool to take them to a MA15+ movie, but a toddler?!

Just one part of the huge “Why DJ thinks a license should be necessary to reproduce” argument. :stuck_out_tongue:

(hmmmm… I just realised I come across as really anti-child and totalitarian in this post… I’m not like that, really!)

10

Certainly, kids of three and four can comprehend and enjoy kids’ flicks. But what about the tiniest folks, under three years of age?
Should they even be in the theater at all? I’m inclined to say “no.”

P.S. I don’t go to the movies much anymore, so could someone tell me: Do they charge admission for kids under 5, or under 3? What is the cut-off? I’m asking this because, if they’re not charging for the wee ones, then they could impose a “no kids under a certain age in any cinema” rule and they wouldn’t lose any money anyway.

11

Oops, one more question: What is the going rate for a babysitter these days? I always wonder why the moviegoers with babies can afford to take the fam to the flicks, but can’t afford a sitter.

12

A couple of cinemas here in Melbourne (Oz, not Fla) have “Babes In Arms” sessions of new releases.

Sadly, Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland are not involved, but everyone who goes to that session knows that babies and children will be in the audience. As we know, parents can concentrate on two things at once, and so new mothers or fathers can get to see a new film in the movie house without their children suffering. Cool, huh?

Redboss

13

Scene: Fellowship of the Rings, early February. Still crowded.

Noisy Hellion Next to Me: mumbles quite loudly for some time
Me: Ssh.
His Sister (hereafter, “Bitch”): Don’t you talk to my brother like that!

Later on…

Noisy Hellion: Various questions about everything that happens: “What happened?” or “Gandalf!”, etc.
Me: Please, ssh.
Bitch: Don’t you talk to my damn brother that way!
Me: annoyed I’m sorry, but he -
Bitch: Fuck you!

:rolleyes:

14

i dunno, i wouldn’t take my kids to some “just for kids” movie theatre. i wouldn’t want them to get the idea that it’s ok to be loud and obnoxious in a movie theatre.

if you have kids that won’t be quiet, i think a better idea would be to teach them to be quiet in a public environment where it is less disruptive if they have trouble with it (like wal*mart – we don’t want our kids to be loud there, but it’s acceptable enough for while they’re learning). then take them to the movies once they’ve learned good behaviour. and point out that they are only getting to go because they’ve learned to be good.

15

So how much did bail cost after you beat the shit out of them?:smiley:

I think it would be an interesting economic experiment to advertise that disruptive people of any age wouldn’t be allowed in your theaters, and that there would be an usher in each theater to enforce it. I wonder if it would attract back all the jaded people who are just sick of idiots like that. At the theater that I go to, one usher practically sprints down the aisle and back out once, and is never seen again.

Or you could have tickets for any non-G movie be double for anyone under 6.

I always go to the 9:45 movie just to avoid these people. The only time I go to non-late movies is when I’m taking my younger sister to a kid movie, and every time I do it I’m reminded why I only go to the late movie.

16

I know when I managed a movie theater, parents would be very upset when I’d charge their infant or baby a regular child’s rate. “He’s going to sit in my lap”, “He’s not even a year old!”, “Nobody else does that!”, etc. I was then very happy to explain that with every infant that showed up in a theater (for a non-kiddie movie, mind you), I was guaranteed to give away a couple of free passes to somebody who’d complain about the baby making noise, so as long as I’m giving away free movies because of the kid, there is no way s/he is getting in without paying.

“Oh, but my baby’s not like that”, “Oh, s/he’s very quiet”, etc. Uh-huh. That’s what every parent says without exception. Maybe the baby’s the most perfect in the world, but a baby’s still a baby. Loud noise, a bathroom emergency, a case of the munchies and the kid starts bawling.

There’s a second-run theater near where I live that has Monday nights as Baby night for one of its two screens. This theater has sofas, too, so the baby night is always a big hit. (Never been myself, though–thank God! :stuck_out_tongue: )

17

I’m an exception. There is no way in hell my near-two year old is coming to a theater with me and Mr. LB. Opening day, or last day they’re showing it!

Hell, I can barely hear my own TV at home at times, even with the volume at 15! :eek:

18

I had the joy of watching Jurassic Park with some little kid sobbing hysterically behind me the whole time. It wasn’t random crying either. He was completely aware of what was happening on screen.

But before we ban kiddies from theaters let’s just remember they’ve hardly cornered the market on inappropriate behavior:

I had the joy of watching Harry Potter with the grown woman next to me offering insightful comments to her companion (and the rest of us) like, “Oooh, he has a white owl” and “Oh look, the ghosts are singing Christmas carols. Isn’t that darling?”

Why is whispering such a difficult concept? Why would you not whisper when you’re in a room filled with people who are being quiet? Can someone explain this? Dave Barry says that we have the right to beat such persons to death with a stick, but I didn’t exercise my rights that evening.

Another example: I was at The Shipping News a few months ago and someone’s cell phone started ringing. With great consideration, the person got up and left the theater. Unfortunately, he let his phone ring the entire time he was fighting to get to the aisle and as he was walking up the aisle to go out. Because clearly it was better to let it ring loudly for 25 seconds than answer it and say, “Hold on a second.”

19

To this day, I can’t believe that I went to a Saturday night, 9:45 PM showing of Monster’s Ball at our local art-house, an in an audience of 75 or so, there were about ten kids ranging from about three to about ten. I thought they might have mistaken this movie for Monsters, Inc., also showing in town at the time, but they were all still there at the end, so I doubt it.

The kids weren’t disruptive or anything–I just can’t imagine a less appropriate movie for a kid to watch.

I think movie theatres should designate one night a week as Asshole Night. Anyone found acting like an asshole in a non-asshole showing will receive some permanent marking (forehead tattoo, perhaps) designating him or her as an asshole. Then, they are only allowed to attend showings on Asshole Night, with all the other assholes.

“So why did he just shoot that guy?”
“Mommy! Caitlin’s touching me!”
<brrring!>“Hello? Oh, hey, Nick…No, just watching a movie…”
“Don’t go in there! Nuh-uh, you DIDN’T just go in there!”
“WAAAAAAAH!”
“Mommy, I have to go pee…RIIIIIGHT NOOOOOOOOOW!”
“…I guess we might meet up at Applebee’s later–oh, hold on, I have another call.” <click> “Hello?”

It wouldn’t even matter what movie you showed!

Dr. J

20

I had the same experience at the same movie. The child crying behind me, however, had a parent (or other sorry excuse for a “guardian”) sitting with her who kept telling her, “Shut up or I’ll SMACK you!” Very helpful.

I thought that was pretty bad until I saw children who couldn’t have been more than four or five at a showing of Schindler’s List. Oh, yeah, I’m sure they’re old enough to understand those concepts without having nightmares for the rest of their lives! I was worried about the 13-year-old daughter my friend brought (after much discussion and debate). Of course, that’s the girl who, during one of the more intense scenes, leaned over and asked me, “Are you all right?” because I was crying so hard.

My kids are 9 and 12. They’ve been to Snow White, 101 Dalmatians, Shrek, and Harry Potter, as well as some more forgettable Nickelodeon-produced movies. Movies are pretty expensive. The few times I spent the money for an actual grown-up movie in an actual theater, I sure as hell wasn’t going to bring my own annoying children to guarantee it would be spoiled for me at the very least.