Your four-year old is too young for "Slither"

We went to see this movie this weekend. The most horrifying aspect of the movie was the mother with her young child in the row behind us. I don’t know the actual age of the child, but he asked: “Mommy, is her that fat because she ate so much?” and “Did the bad guy do that to him mommy?”

Come. on. Could she not find a babysitter? Was she so selfish that she had to see the movie at that moment even though her kid was with her? Or did she really just think that a few hours of excessive cursing, blistering, blood and alien rape would be a good choice of entertainment for her little prodigy?

I wish there was some kind of penalty for bad but non-illegal parenting. I don’t think that my irritated eye-rolling had much of an impact.

Er, hang on dude, how do these film ratings work again? :eek:

Now, hold on a minute. I saw dozens of gross-out horror movies when I was a little kid, and I turned out just fine, if I may say so myself.

And if you bring it up again, I’ll rip off your head, shit down your neck, and grind up your heart and liver and make chili out of them.

You left out eyeball-gouging and skullfucking

I don’t know which was worse – seeing Hannibal, or seeing Hannibal with a five-year-old girl screaming and crying two rows ahead of me throughout the movie.

Nice parenting, shit-for-brains.

I was about that age when my mom took me to see Alien in the theater. Didn’t scar me half as much as The Wizard of Oz.

Fucking parents. The worst is when you see families at horribly inappropriate movies. Like mom, dad, and three kids… There was NO WAY that taking the kids to the movies was cheaper than a sitter. And booo fucking hooo the parents who can’t find reliable sitters or relatives to watch their kids. You opted for a shitty social life when you chose to have kids.

Right on.

Now I feel old. I saw Alien as an adult.

But I do remember being scared shitless the first time I saw The Wizard of Oz. I was shocked when I finally watched it again as a teenager and saw how corny it was!

As for the OP, unless it’s designed as a kiddy movie, you just don’t bring pre-school kids to the movies, period. They can’t keep quiet, and it’s not their fault. If it’s a kiddy movie and you complain about the noise, then you’re just a cranky old fart.

Your point?

(Most recent movie seen: Curse of the Were-Rabbit.)

I always remembered seeing signs at the movie theater that said NO KIDS UNDER AGE SEVEN ALLOWED IN R-RATED MOVIES AFTER 7 PM. But when I went to see Sin City at 11pm one night? Of course, two kids that wouldn’t shut up. Why would a parent think it would be a good idea to take young kids to a fucked up and awesome movie like Sin City that late at night? Think they’re gonna sleep throught it? Nope! And I guess the theater quit enforcing that rule? I almost exclusively see R-rated movies in the theater and I do not expect preschoolers to be watching with me. I can not afford a huge TV and surround sound so I like to go to movies for the experience sometimes instead of waiting for video.

Maybe I’m just a cranky young person, but I don’t have kids, don’t want kids, and don’t want to hear your kids crying or blabbering during my movie. Kids cut into your social life, sorry. Get a babysitter or wait until the kids can be left alone. Or raise your kids to have the ability to not talk for two hours unless it’s important (I have to pee, my eyes are bleeding, my foot just fell off, etc).

Years ago, when I saw Blade, there were a dozen or so kids in the second-to-last row, with a couple of adult chaperones. It looked like a birthday party; they were all around eight or nine years old.

Half of them leaned forward, watching the movie with enthusiasm; the other half hid on the floor and cried.

After the movie, on the way out of the theater, I stopped by their row, leaned down to the kids on the floor, and said, “Fucking crybabies. Can’t take a scary movie. Stop crying or I’ll chew through your throat and suck out your juices.”

Only part of this story is true.

Oh? You mean I shouldn’t have been all mean and stuff to those kids for talking during that Spongebob Squarepants Movie? :wink: [for the sarcasm impaired, that was a joke. Although, I did go see Spongebob. Saturday afternoon showing. Dude, I was asking for it :D. It was a rainy day and when I left the theater I opened my umbrella and got showered with a good handfull of M&Ms. I nearly peed myself laughing. Way funnier than the movie, IMHO. ]

This thread is over an hour old. I’m surprised that no outraged parents have shown up to remind us that their $8 is just as good as your $8 and if they want to bring their little Angel to scream for 2 hours they’ve paid the admission to do it.

I’m gonna get slaughtered for that remark, ain’t I?

I remember my friend’s mother who took the two of us to see one of the Jaws movies. I was about, oh, 5 or 6 at the time. :eek: You’re not getting me to see any of the Jaws movies. No way, no how.

I really don’t think my mother would have let us go, if she’d known what we were going to do. :stuck_out_tongue:

In reality, the movie was March of the Penguins.


The other day I went to see Inside Man. Everything was going fine until–about ten minutes into the movie–two old ladies plopped down behind me. I don’t know if they were hard-of-hearing or what, but they didn’t even try to talk softly. When the old banker guy made his first appearance, one of them said, "That’s the man from ‘Sound of Music’. She said this real loud. That’s the kind of thing you say when you’re watching a DVD in the comfort of your living room, not when you’re in a crowded theater. And they were making smacking noises as they gobbled their popcorn. Real annoying, but not too too bad.

About thirty minutes into the show, here comes Two Jackasses and a Baby. Except the baby was really a toddler–probably three or four. It was obvious that they had snuck in from another show (who buys tickets for 3/4 of a movie?). They sat down on the opposite end of my row. The girl was making noise from the get-go, and her mother responded by making more noise to get her to shut up. It didn’t work. The kid kept kicking the seat in front of her (I felt sorry for the dude sitting there) and asking questions and whining. Her parents kept telling her to shut up, but the girl couldn’t control herself for much longer than a few minutes. I kept flashing evil looks at them, but the darkness thwarted my efforts.

Finally, during a very critical moment in the movie, the little girl started bawling. I thought to myself, “Great. Her lazy-ass parents will actually take her out into the lobby now.” But no. Her lazy-ass parents just sat there with their trifling selves, hissing curses at their kid. I couldn’t help it. I yelled, “GET HER OUT OF HERE!” Another woman echoed the sentiment, in both English and Spanish. The whole audience was grumbling. The mother smacked the girl on the leg and said, loud enough for me to hear across the room, “See what you did?” I wanted to rise out of my chair and choke the bitch (and the man she was with too, who kept leaving and returning with refreshments).

What’s funny is that, after that mother showed her ass like that, one of those old ladies sitting behind me said, again REAL LOUD, “What a shame.”

My mother has always been a bit of a lean-over-and-stage-whisper-in-your-ear kind of gal, only it got worse when she became more and more deaf. Last time I went to the movies with her and my older sister, there was this semi-annoying beeping from a hearing aid - as the movie theatre was full of grey heads, I assumed it was coming from one close by and decided to ignore. Little did I know it was my mother! Anyway, what I really wanted to say is that she is (and probably has been for a long time) at the stage in life when she doesn’t care what others think about her, she will tell that child’s parents to take the child out of the theatre! Yay, go mum! She once had a spaz at a father who was hitting his daughters for crying because they were scared of our dog - who was ignoring them anyway.

Here the ratings are binding in cinemas and other public places, with or without parents. The only exception is that parents can take their six-year-olds or older to movies rated 12+. In private you can show your children of any age whatever you want (just like the rules for alcohol.)

This way you know which audience you have to expect. If the parents really think their children have to see the movie, sooner or later that’s possible as well, but they can’t just bring their children because they don’t care.

I bring up the hulk again. A great movie, spoiled by asshole parents that couldnt be bothered to teach their kids proper fucking manners. Stupid cunts cant teach their bastard children to shut their fucking pieholes in a cinema.

Back when I was small, cinema’s were patrolled by maglite wielding usher bastards that shone a thousand watt beam through your retinas if you opened your soundhole. Where are these guys now? Not that it would have any control on these ASBO yob jackeen anklebiting fucked up crack babies. Watching the hulk, which as you know is fairly slow moving, turned out to be a pure torture. An hour in and no hulk, all sweets and coke consumed, these hellspawn dub shitstains start to WRECK THE GAFF. by the time the hulk showed up and did his hulk-smash bit, they didnt give one fiddlers fuck. And the parents just sat there talking to each other, didnt give a hot wet shit that their kids from seven different fathers were running up and down the stairs in a dark room. Hey, what should they care… These kids are probably trained to fall and pretend to be hurt to leech off insurance companies.

So, given that this was a pg movie, how would I feel if a kid started kicking off in an 18-rated movie? Not good. Kids should not be allowed near a fucking cinema.

In fact, all kids should FUCK AWAY OFF.

Not by me - I do jump in on mommy-bashing threads, but this complaint is absolutely appropriate. Taking wee ones to R-rated movies (and most PGs) is unconscionable.

and I’m keeping mine away from those damn flying monkeys, too