Good for her. Hit your child because she’s scared. Yeah, great parenting skills there :rolleyes:
[old geezer]When I was a kid I behaved in public. Mostly because I didn’t want to be killed when I got home. 
[/og]
Geez, bubastis, decaf 
Very few people want to go to the movies with me, for I am a Silence Nazi.
That means: NO FUCKING TALKING. No matter what. I don’t care if you’ve suddenly developed Alien Hand Syndrome and your left hand is trying to simultaneously choke you, poke you in the eyes, and fondle the legs of the blonde in the next seat, you will REMAIN ABSOLUTELY SILENT.
Similarly, cellular/mobile phones go OFF. Not to “silent”, but OFF. (Exception: Doctors/Emergency Service Personnel). There is no one else who is so vitally important that the world will end should they be unavailable for 2hrs.
Wow, I hear you say, how could someone be so petty? If the phone is on silent, you can’t hear it, right? No, I can’t hear it, but I CAN see the glow of the screen as you check your SMS from Britnay (“OMG! She’s found the cutest pair of shoes!”) or actually, and this staggers the imagination, answer their phone? (“Hey hoo, 'sup?”). I did NOT pay $14 to listen to your skanky bitch friends harp on about the latest in SlutWear, or how Marty needs some more credit for his phone on the way home.
If you have a cold, or a flu, or a sore throat: STAY THE FUCK OUT OF THE CINEMA!. No-one wants to hear you coughing, sniffling, sneezing, and hacking through the film.
Case in point: I went to see Kill Bill Volume 1 at the cinema (and excellent it was too), but the guy just in front of me had a bad cough. That’s OK, we all get them, and for the most part he tried to confine his coughing to the times with no dialogue (which, of course, ruined the dramatic tension of some moments, but kudos to the guy for at least trying to be considerate), but this all fell over at the end, when Bill was talking to Sophie and said:
“Does she know that COUGH is still alive?”. Credits roll. :eek:
With that master stroke, Coughing Guy totally ruined the end of the film and the build up to Volume II (I had to go home and look up who was still alive on IMDB, which ruined the impact).
Is it too much to suggest a Cinema Gestapo, equipped with Night Vision Goggles, Tasers, Tranquiliser Guns, and Chloroform? At the slightest HINT of unacceptable noise or shenanigans, the Cinema Gestapo will swoop, Tasering the offender (silently, of course, so no-one else’s film enjoyment is disturbed) and ceasing their selfish interruption of the film?
Naturally, the Cinema Gestapo would also be empowered to remove children (“You can have them back after the main feature, ma’am”), confiscate excess snacks (“I’m sorry, sir, but you’re already a lardass and you don’t need a Bathtub-sized tub of popcorn, especially not when you’re getting it all over your fellow patrons”), and Smartass-stopping Put-Downs (“Your mother called- she said they’re out of Depends in your size, but the No Brand ones were on special, so she got you those instead. Now shut the fuck up and watch the film.”)
Perhaps there’s an idea there for a Comic Book? Cinema Etiquette Man! With his trusty Kid-Silencing Duct Tape, Phone-Seeking Missile Launcher, and faithful sidekick The Usherette (Fear her Torch of Dazzling And Clobbering!), Cinema would be returned to the true Cinephile, and taken from those who would use it as a free babysitting service, or something to do with Sharnelle tries to get alcohol with her fake ID and short skirt/knee high boots combo.
Maybe Kevin Smith would be interested? 
I chose not to take my kids to see King Kong, I decided it was a little too scary and gory. They were 5 & 8 at the time, my son just turned 6 last week.
I cannot conceive of taking them to a slasher flick or movie like “Slither”.
As we’re in the pit: **Bubastis ** you are an asshole. A grade A asshole, you expect silence from kids at a kids friendly piece of crap comic book movie like the HULK? Go to a late night show if you don’t want kids.
Kids are a very important part of the movie industry. You sound like the asshole couple that sat in front of me at a Saturday matinee for Fantasia 2000 and were upset by my kids make noises during the movie. It was a Disney movie for Og’s sake. A Disney movie. Why did they think they would have a quiet theatre for a 2pm Disney movie. Before I had kids, I didn’t expect Aladdin or the Lion King to be Quiet. I sure didn’t expect Batman to be quiet. The Teenagers were making noise for that one. So **Bubastis ** why don’t you STFU.
Jim {Pissed at the pissy little loser below!!!}
I’m a parent. No fucking way I take my kid to anything but a kid’s movie.
Unless we go to the drive-in, in which case the kid’s in our car and we’re not bothering anyone if she makes a fuss. Drive-ins rule.
Hell Yeah. I didn’t see Die Hard twice in one night at a drive in
You’re not a cranky old person. Fully 87% (as observed in their natural habitat) of parents these days are inconsiderate assholes.
I am the proud parent of a daughter (26 and due in Sept with my first grandbaby), and a son 14 (yeah, he was a bit of a surprise when I was 30 something :D). Back when dinosaurs walked the earth we parents were considerate and socially responsible. Amazingly we understood that there were actually other people in the world, and that “SHOCK of all SHOCKS!” the world neither owed us a living, nor was ours to be served up on a silver platter.
Some people are just jerks.
Ha! When I was a kid, I was raised on a steady diet of horror and slasher flicks at the drive-in. We’re talking, five or six. I don’t remember ever getting wigged out, because I knew it was all artifice. (Except for The Swarm, which gave me nightmares at age eight, because it seemed plausible to me and there were frigging bees everywhere.)
Parents that take ther untrained kids to theatres with grown-up audiences, though? Hang 'em!
When I saw Interview with a Vampire, there was a little girl sitting behind me in the theatre. When Lestat bit a woman’s breast and she started bleeding profusely, the child said, “Mommy, what is he doing to her?!?” It was awful.
Also had a guy answer a cellphone in the middle of V for Vendetta yesterday and had thoughts of kicking his ass.
This is why Netflix is doing such a great business. Why pay through the nose to deal with crap like this in the theatre?
My mom took me to see Fatal Attraction.
Well, I was 18 at the time, and she sat several rows away with a friend of hers, but still…
I would add older children with mental intelligence far below their age. I saw Munich in an exceptionally crowded theater. The only thing that got on my nerves was this poor little guy who was probably 15 at the oldest. I think he was probably about as mentally/emotionally developed as a 6 or 7 year old. He did okay for most of the movie, but when things got gory (not to mention naked and gory), he started asking questions along the lines of “What are they doing? Why did they kill that person? Did they rape her?”
Ugh. The guy did pretty okay for such a rough movie. But it ruins the suspension of disbelief to have a froggy, man-child voice asking odd and naive questions at delicate moments.
Kids these days talking during movies. :rolleyes:
Pikers, I tell ya! When my kid sister was 5 years old, she preciptated a brawl at a matinee of the Fox in the Hound.
Yeah, 1964-born me was in the last generation to experience The Matrons. They wore white dresses and had huge shiny flashlights and full expulsion powers (and this was at a rundown place in Yonkers, not Radio City). Now, they would warn you a couple of times before they threw you out and help scared or sick little kids by leading them out by the hand and letting them sit in the lobby or something, but they were the boss and everybody knew it. Now not only could they not expel, yell at, or touch a kid, but they’d probably get sued for retina damage if they shone a flashlight at you.
And the worst I’ve seen was a couple who brought a baby to HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH. It’s a delightful movie but…geez! Fortunately, after fifteen minutes or so they realized they weren’t at a kiddie movie and left, right past the life-size cutout of John Cameron Mitchell in full Hedwig regalia standing at the entrance to the auditorium. Need I mention it was 10:15 at night Greenwich Village? :smack:
I have the oddest feeling that they thought the movie had something to do with Harry Potter…
I expect PARENTS to keep their kids quiet to the best of their abilities in a cinema, yes. Isnt that what this thread is about? I went to see toy story2 at 12 a.m. on a saturady, too, with kids going apeshit; I joined them!
But not one of the parents that took their kids to hulk gave a fiddlers. They didnt read a review, say to themselves, hmm, this movie seems to be slow paced amd focused on relationships and emotions… maybe britney and justin, my four year old twins, would not have the patience to sit through it… perhaps I should take them to see whatever other cute-animal-sidekick piece of fox animation shite is playing elsewhere. NO. Instead, they just said, ah man, gotta take the kids somewhere for a few hours before i collect me welfare… any ole shi’ will do… god I need a valium…
I shouldnt have to go to a late show. I should be able to go to whatever fucking show I please. Anyone should.
I should stress now what makes this particular film stick out in my mind… Halfway through, pissed off, I gave them the best SHHHHHHH!! they ever got. You know what these little burst-rubber bastards did??? They SHHHH!ed back, setting off a huge SHHHHHHHHH’ing game that went on for the remainder of the film.
STERILISATION!!! Sterilisation for all parents unwilling to keep manners on their kids!!!
That’s as funny as the notion that you can avoid kids by sitting in the smoking section of a restaurant. Parents take their kids everywhere.
Besides which, I’m not up late at night and I don’t enjoy cigarette smoke.
Parent chiming in. The only movies we’ve taken our now-4-year-old to are The Polar Express, Curse of the Were-Rabbit, and… crap, I can’t remember the title of the other one. It was some animated G-rated movie that came out within the last year, and according to MrWhatsit (I didn’t go), it sucked. Anyway, two of those three were special pre-screenings that we managed to score free passes to, and at both of those, approximately 99% of the audience was parents with small children. (The other 1% was theater personnel.)
I love the movies. I do not appreciate having my movie-watching experience destroyed by some other rude fucker who can’t be bothered to find a babysitter, and I’m not going to take my own kids to the movies, for the same reason. We make exceptions for early matinee showings of G films, and that only for our 4-year-old. Our 2-year-old stays home until she’s old enough to be expected to sit reasonably still for a 90-minute film.
Mrs. Whatsit - Loved the book, liked the movie, love your name!
All,
I finally saw TCO Narnia a couple of weeks ago. My children are grown up and my youngest grand is 4. I don’t like other people’s children in public places, so when I want to see a movie where a crowd of children is to be expected, I just wait a few months and see the film when I’m pretty sure it will be quiet in the theater.
I don’t think “The Hulk” is a childrens’ film, despite the marketing efforts of toy sellers everywhere. Because a film is based on a comic book character doesn’t make it a kids movie.
When my children were small we saw G rated films exclusively. If I had no sitter, I stayed at home with my family - no way I would take a toddler to see “Slither” or “The Hulk”.
My children were quiet at movies since they were totally engaged in the action on the screen. When they’re not paying attention and acting out it’s a sign that you’ve chosen the wrong movie for your child.
They marketed it to kids. I didn’t take my kids to it because they were too young and it looked too stupid but I can’t see complaining about bring 10 year olds to a movie marketed to them. Maybe you could blame the Distributer. :dubious:
They allow smoking in theaters? Where do you live? Wow, NJ movies have been smoke free for decades. By late I mean 8pm or later. Then even at a kids oriented movie one should expect kids to be quiet. I don’t think it is reasonable to expect kids to be quiet at a matinee. Matinees weren’t quiet when I was a kid in the 70’s.
I would just like to say that your last sentence confirms you are an Ass.
You’ve never noticed before that Shhhh’ing in a movie theatre results in a tea kettle convention?
Again, The Hulk was marketed to kids, young kids even. Think back to the Tie-ins and the commercials. It was advertised heavily on the Cartoon Network. Strangely enough, I think of the Cartoon Network as for kids and not just stoners. My son thought the Hulk would be cool to see. I told him he was too young. I’m sure a lot of parents saw a comic book movie and decided it would be okay for junior. For this you would sterilize them?
I go to see a lot of kids movies having two kids. The Incredibles was a very noisy theatre even at 7:00 pm on a Weeknight. Would you have expected this to be quiet. A very good superhero film. How about Spiderman, are kids not aloud to see those films either? My kids had to see them at home, but I won’t give a parent a hard time for going to see them. I think your expectations are very unreasonable.
Now going to see a serious movie, kids should be quiet or the parent is responsible for taking the kid out of the theatre.
When I went to see King Kong, my wife said she could pass on it and I went with friends instead. My son was disappointed because again it was marketed showing King Kong fighting Dinosaurs. Guess what is hyper appealing to 5 year old boys?
Jim
I walked out of “Inside Man” after about 30 minutes.
The guy sitting next to me had a rich plegmy cough AND either a monster case of the fidgets or fully developed St. Vitus’ Dance. The theater was full, no place to go.
Of course, it helped that I had started intensely disliking the movie by then.
I can’t tell if this is a rant about talking in the theater (in which case, it has nothing to do with “kids.” The adults do it as much or more than the little ones…
…or is it a rant about taking kids to what YOU consider to be an inappropriate movie for children, in which case it’s none of your business.