My wife had a nightmare the night before last that woke her up! She dreamed that I was having an affair on her. I’ve had these dreams in the past and they are insanely vivid. The pain is far more real in these dreams than the adrenaline of flying or falling in a dream is.
The funny thing about this dream is that it coincided with a rare sexual drought that lasted for two weeks where I was expressing my frustration. Generally, we make love once a week, sometimes twice if a quicky opportunity presents itself. I’d say that is pretty good for two full time workers, married 10 years, with two kids. I think our sex is amazing and we make sure that we are both fully satisfied (watching her orgasm is half the satisfaction and a HUGE turn on for me). However, as life goes, there are times when the planets get misaligned like recently where one week her cycle interferes followed by the next week of crazy ass, busy schedules and event planning. So a day or two past critical mass, even with masturbation, and I start getting cranky and act like a grabby kid. I make advances at the most inopportune times, which heightens the tension because I feel rebuffed. She knows this about me and once we get tangled up and reset the clock then we have a good laugh about it. So the other morning we finally kicked the planets back into alignment and had fantastic sex! That night she had the dream.
I am and always have been fiercely loyal to my wife, but I wonder if even after having sex her dream was a subconscious alarm bell warning her that her man wasn’t pleased and at a heightened sexual state making him more vulnerable to advances from other women. Its never occurred to me before, but next time I have a dream of this nature I’ll be sure to note how the planets line up.
If you happen to give in to your “heightened sexual state” which made you “more vulnerable to advances from other women” I suggest that you think long and hard before blaming it on the alignment of the planets.
I guess you missed the part where I said that I am fiercely loyal to my wife. I should add that I don’t put myself in positions where I am vulnerable to other women either. Again, my theory is that this is a subconscious thing brought on by tension and not by real threats.
Your theory sounds reasonable. I’d expect it to be a very common subconscious (if not conscious) fear among women, and the dream state is a way to deal with it.
maybe she was feeling a bit more obligated than normal to have sex that night since it had been so long, which translated subconsciously to I better have sex or he will cheat on me, which in turn translated into a dream where you actually did cheat on her.
It also may have just been a random firing of random neurons. I wouldn’t spend too much time worrying about it unless it becomes a recurrent problem.
I’m more fascinated than worried about it. Dreams are fascinating to me I general. I even enjoy nightmares unless my kids are in them. It’s like having a front row seat to a bizarre movie, directed by your most sinister self, that taps into the root nerves of your psyche.
At this point we’ve pretty much tried everything that we are comfortable trying. We flew our freak flag and have settled into a more comfortable routine that feels intimate and satisfying. Couldn’t be better IMO.