I was listening to some older George Carlin material yesterday. He spoke about how brand names can affect to success of a product providing the example of “Janitor In A Drum” brand douche. So I got to thinking of other products you wouldn’t want to buy based on the brand name. So far I have:
-Hefty Brand Jockey shorts. (Especially the “Cinch Sac” variety. Yee-ouch.)
-Fruit Of The Loom Tea Bags.
-Fresh Step Trail Mix.
-Lil’ Debbie Rat poison.
-A Briggs and Stratton Electric Razor. (Actually, this might appeal to the insecure, overly macho crowd).
-Bushmaster Bikini Wax.
-Tampax Cigars (unless you’re Bill Clinton).
That’s all I can think of for now. If I think of any more I will inflict them upon you.
Johnny Carson used to tell jokes about “Bombastic Bushkin”, his inept financial adviser who tried to sell him investments in (among other ill-fated products):
Orson Welles[sup]1[/sup] jeans; and
Roberto Duran[sup]2[/sup] Charm Schools
We made one up of our own: Lava, the Beauty Cleanser
[sup]1[/sup] In the 70s, skin-tight designer jeans were all the rage, and Orson Welles was the great actor/director who had become comedians’ code for ‘really fat’.
[sup]2[/sup] Duran was a boxing champion noted for his ferocity.
When I first glanced at the title of this thread, I thought it said “inappropriate band names”, and I immediately thought, “man, I hope they mention Hoobastank, that’s the worst name ever.”
Eddie Murphy (IIRC) was on Latterman back in the 80’s after a trip to the Phillipines. He brought back a tube of Darkie Toothpaste. (scroll down halfway)
It had a picture of a black man on it. Eddie thought it was funny. Dave looked uncomfortable.
Actually, that Starkist Toothpaste is funnier in the “Strangely inappropriate” way. Why the hell did a company brand name associated with tunafish get stuck on toothpaste?
Cactus sounds like a good name for a condom. After all, they’re covered in pricks…
