Innapropriate brand names

I was listening to some older George Carlin material yesterday. He spoke about how brand names can affect to success of a product providing the example of “Janitor In A Drum” brand douche. So I got to thinking of other products you wouldn’t want to buy based on the brand name. So far I have:

-Hefty Brand Jockey shorts. (Especially the “Cinch Sac” variety. Yee-ouch.)

-Fruit Of The Loom Tea Bags.

-Fresh Step Trail Mix.

-Lil’ Debbie Rat poison.

-A Briggs and Stratton Electric Razor. (Actually, this might appeal to the insecure, overly macho crowd).

-Bushmaster Bikini Wax.

-Tampax Cigars (unless you’re Bill Clinton).
That’s all I can think of for now. If I think of any more I will inflict them upon you.

Your contributions are always welcome.

Roto-Rooter tampons

Krazy Glue toothpaste

Skinny and Sweet (you won’t even taste the rat poison!)

Johnny Carson used to tell jokes about “Bombastic Bushkin”, his inept financial adviser who tried to sell him investments in (among other ill-fated products):

  • Orson Welles[sup]1[/sup] jeans; and

  • Roberto Duran[sup]2[/sup] Charm Schools

We made one up of our own: Lava, the Beauty Cleanser

[sup]1[/sup] In the 70s, skin-tight designer jeans were all the rage, and Orson Welles was the great actor/director who had become comedians’ code for ‘really fat’.

[sup]2[/sup] Duran was a boxing champion noted for his ferocity.

Hello Kitty Power Tools

Cactus Condoms

Rough Rider toilet tissue

Fat Bastard Beer

Dog Fartz Air Fresheners

Roadkill Jerky

Colon Blow All-Natural Laxative

Red River Tampons

Headcrash Computers

And the really scary part is, they have everything Hello Kitty. Shouldn’t be long 'til this actually happens.

There’s a very popular cheese in Australia called Coon. The name’s not a problem here but I suspect it would be in other places.

When I first glanced at the title of this thread, I thought it said “inappropriate band names”, and I immediately thought, “man, I hope they mention Hoobastank, that’s the worst name ever.”

Reality beat you to it.

http://www.beerlabels.com/labels/labels.pl/3161/silver_city_fat_bastard_scotch_style_ale.html

I remember Chevy Chase sitting down to a bowl of ‘Colon Blow’ cereal, and remember, with a name like ‘Dead Rats in Vomit’ it must be good Jam!

Obvious link.

That was Phil Hartman.

Eddie Murphy (IIRC) was on Latterman back in the 80’s after a trip to the Phillipines. He brought back a tube of Darkie Toothpaste. (scroll down halfway)

It had a picture of a black man on it. Eddie thought it was funny. Dave looked uncomfortable.

I once lived in an apartment that had both a Hotpoint refrigerator and a Frigidaire stove…

Lexmark Heart/Lung machine

Quaker Condoms

Actually, that Starkist Toothpaste is funnier in the “Strangely inappropriate” way. Why the hell did a company brand name associated with tunafish get stuck on toothpaste?

Cactus sounds like a good name for a condom. After all, they’re covered in pricks…

Works great until you try to refill it with third-party oxygen. :smiley: