Innocence Lost Forever: Man Escapes Thai Sex Scene

[PunditLisa]

@Siam_Sam

I agree with you. If his actions had been unknown, not many would think much about his appearance. But people want to see a decrepit fat guy with a young Thai girl, maybe even without knowing it.

Call me Pollyanna, but I don’t want to see ANYONE with a young Thai girl except a young Thai guy who wants to spend time with her both in and out of bed.

And it wasn’t just Bob’s actions but his *singular focus *on the looks and age of his “girlfriends,” including glossy 8 x 10s of his former conquests, that caused his own looks and age to come into focus.

Let’s say the article was about Bob’s fight with heroin addiction vs. sex addiction.

“I’ve come to the conclusion that my addiction is causing me to lose out on things that I crave, such as long term relationships. So I’m going to steer away from drugs for a year, because I have no hope of resisting them, and try to get my head together. In the meantime, I met a few women in rehab, former heroin addicts, who seem like nice girls, but frankly, I’m not attracted to them. Heroin junkies just aren’t my thing! There’s another lady who lives in my building, a Mormon. She really piques my interest. She’s not interested in me because I’m a heroin addict, but she’s my ideal woman. I’m going to buy a Lamborghini and see if that baby might cause her to overcome her repulsion. Sigh. At the end of the day, I’ll probably end up settling for a former user, but the worst I’ll accept is a weed addict. Not quite the Mormon lady, who’ll remain my ideal, but at least a step up from heroin addicts!”

Can you see where I’m coming from now?

[Uzi]

@even_sven

…, but there is almost certainly not a intellectual, emotional or spiritual attraction in these relationships.

No, I get that. It was the term ‘handle’ like you were wrestling steers or something.

And frankly, if all the person wants is a ‘sex toy’ then that is his business. If his wife/girlfriend/blow up doll agrees with the relationship, who are we to judge either of them?

Hell, Hugh Hefner has a bevy of bimbos. Maybe he cries himself to sleep between their ample breast(s) because his relationships with them is so unsatisfying. Or maybe he is as happy as a pig in shit with what he has. As long as the women agree to it, so what? And if they don’t feel anything for him other than concern that he keeps paying them, it isn’t as bad as many marriages where people stay together for any number of reasons that are not intellectual or emotional*.

*spiritual is the same as emotional.

@PunditLisa

…but I don’t want to see ANYONE with a young Thai girl except a young Thai guy…

You managed to combine ageism and racism into one sentence. Congratulations.

[Jodi]

@Argent_Towers

All this stuff is also true of a lot of low level service-industry jobs that people take.

True, how? Are those jobs Demeaning and dangerous? Would the people holding them would prefer to do pretty uch absolutely anything else, if anything else were available? Just what low level service industry jobs do you think this is true for? Many of the young women we’re talking about would love to have a “low level service industry job” that paid a living wage, even if it was scrubbing toilets, because then they could stop sleeping with strangers for money.

[ShibbOleth]

@Jodi

Many of the young women we’re talking about would love to have a “low level service industry job” that paid a living wage, even if it was scrubbing toilets, because then they could stop sleeping with strangers for money.

This is pretty much not true, at least for the young women referred to in the article of the OP.

[msmith537]

@Argent_Towers

Oh yeah and let me add, that prostitution is only a “shaming,” “degrading,” “hurtful” activity if the society in question puts a huge social stigma upon prostitution! Clearly that is NOT the case in Thailand, and the result is that prostitutes there do NOT feel shamed and degraded. It seems to me that Sam here is the final word on this, since he’s experienced all of this first-hand and everyone else is basically taking their American ideas and trying to apply them to a different culture.

Not me. I’m certainly open-minded when it comes to paying women for sex:D

Seriously though, there are all sorts of prostitutes. A crack-ho giving BJs under the highway overpass for $5 desperate. Can you say the same thing about Elliot Spitzer’s $1000 an hour call girl?

[Siam_Sam]

@PunditLisa

Call me Pollyanna, but I don’t want to see ANYONE with a young Thai girl except a young Thai guy who wants to spend time with her both in and out of bed.

Hmmm. My Thai wife and I were both relatively young when we were dating as students at the U of Hawaii. But I’m not Thai. We’re about the same age – I’m two years older – but I do know a few successful May-December mixed relationships.

@Jodi

Many of the young women we’re talking about would love to have a “low level service industry job” that paid a living wage, even if it was scrubbing toilets, because then they could stop sleeping with strangers for money.

@ShibbOleth

This is pretty much not true, at least for the young women referred to in the article of the OP.

Again, ShibbOleth knows his stuff. A lot of the girls here enter the profession to escape the 18-hour-a-day sweatshop for 5 bucks a day. Those jobs are a dime a dozen. However, quite a few girls combine both; they’ll work a factory job and then hit the freelancer hangouts on their time off. University girls, too; they know where to go for some extra money when their parents’ allowance has run out.

[Bricker]

@Mighty_Girl

While not Thailand, there is a flourishing prostitution industry here (Dominican Rep.), and the circumstances, AFAICT, are not much different.

Prostitution is legal here (pimping is not). But the same as Thailand, the vast majority of prostitutes that cater to tourists and foreigners are not “street hookers”, more like “Rent-a-Girlfriend”. They pretend to like the john and love him and all that jazz, but it’s all business.

The problem is that some men just can’t seem to tell the difference because they are either stupid, or in denial. All they have, as a friend puts it, is a “pocketful of personality”, but they end up really thinking it is them, not their money.

The problem is that great sex (and it’s probably only “great” to one party) can only last for so long, after the initial flame is gone people have to talk, socialize, raise children together, work, etc. It’s hard to do that with a partner that is particularly unsuitable for your lifestyle. A partner that, other than physical attraction has little to offer. And in the end the girl will have what she wants: the guy’s money, and the novelty of a being a bit (or a lot) richer wears off. It doesn’t work in the long term, it rarely does. As a matter of fact I have yet to see one of this lopsided relationships work. It doesn’t matter if the girl is a Thai, or Dominican bargirl, a Russian mailbride, or one of Donald Trump’s wives.

I am simply just glad that I could always afford to have sex with people I really wanted to have sex with. I can’t imagine doing otherwise.

Nor is this general model limited to women in the less affulent country hooking up with men from the more affulent one – note the “Sankie” phenomenon.

[Bricker]

@Jodi

True, how? Are those jobs Demeaning and dangerous? Would the people holding them would prefer to do pretty uch absolutely anything else, if anything else were available? Just what low level service industry jobs do you think this is true for? Many of the young women we’re talking about would love to have a “low level service industry job” that paid a living wage, even if it was scrubbing toilets, because then they could stop sleeping with strangers for money.

I’m sorry, Jodi, but I don’t think that’s true. My wife worked in the visa section of the UK consolate (before she was my wife) and was privy to a great many “romance” stories between Dominicans and UK citizens. The majority of cases were girls that had precisely the sort of choice you imagine – low-level service jobs vs. sleeping w/ strangers for money or gifts – and chose the latter because it was more appealing. I’ve heard similar things from Thailand.

Children in the sex trade is one thing… and admittedly it may be a case of “as the twig is bent, so grows the bough,” but I don’t agree with your generalization.

[billfish678]

@Mississippienne

Ewww, what? The guy in the article is old, out of shape, and ugly, not even a handsome older man, just downright unappealing. You cannot seriously think that he’s a match for those gorgeous girls. Every single one of them could do a lot better than him. Not to mention he’s a sleazeball who has no problem dumping his ‘girlfriends’ and frankly admits he wants to ‘settle down with’ an Asian sextoy half his age.

So, basically your pissed because these prostitutes sold low for a short term contract rather than high for a long term contract?

[PunditLisa]

@Uzi

You managed to combine ageism and racism into one sentence. Congratulations.

Well, okay, that was unfortunate wording on my part. My sentiment was that I’d rather see her with someone who likes her for who she is, not just someone who screws her, takes her picture for posterity, and then dumps her.

Ditto for him.

[Dangerosa]

@Bricker

I’m sorry, Jodi, but I don’t think that’s true. My wife worked in the visa section of the UK consolate (before she was my wife) and was privy to a great many “romance” stories between Dominicans and UK citizens. The majority of cases were girls that had precisely the sort of choice you imagine – low-level service jobs vs. sleeping w/ strangers for money or gifts – and chose the latter because it was more appealing. I’ve heard similar things from Thailand.

Children in the sex trade is one thing… and admittedly it may be a case of “as the twig is bent, so grows the bough,” but I don’t agree with your generalization.

I’ve known a girl or two who did it here in the U.S. Some women would rather have a sugar daddy (or two or three) than work 40 hours a week over the french fry machine. I’m rather surprised that anyone finds this shocking.

[Mighty_Girl]

@Bricker

Nor is this general model limited to women in the less affulent country hooking up with men from the more affulent one – note the “Sankie” phenomenon.

You are right. It works both ways.

The difference is that women, generally speaking, do not chase multiple “toy boys”, but rather fall for the “love under the tropical palm tree” bullcrap. I don’t know which is worse.

[billfish678]

@Dangerosa

I’ve known a girl or two who did it here in the U.S. Some women would rather have a sugar daddy (or two or three) than work 40 hours a week over the french fry machine. I’m rather surprised that anyone finds this shocking.

Get with the program man.

When men pay for sex they are just being the pigs that they are.

When women let men have sex with them for money (or whatever), its only because those mean pigs are victimizing them.

Comprende’?

[Lynn_Bodoni]

@Uzi

What would classify as a peer? A 50 year old hooker. Would you have a problem with him if he was seeing 50 year old hookers?
If you were going to pay for sex, would you choose this guy if he was offering? No, you’d most likely go for something that approached whatever fantasy you had. And for most that would probably be the hot young pool boy stereotype.
And I don’t want to offend people by pointing out the obvious, but younger women do look better than older ones (in general, not always!). So, it shouldn’t be surprising that johns are going to pay for sex with someone they are attracted to and they will be younger women, not older ones.

What do you mean by handle? Do women need to be ‘handled’? If you mean he doesn’t want to deal with the issues a 50 year old woman could bring to a relationship, then I’d agree with you.

I’d have no problem if he was seeing 50 year olds, or even 40 year olds. He is, or was, dating and screwing women half his age, or younger, though. He has no interest in his age mates, whether they’re pros or just amateurs.

If I was gonna pay for sex, I’d probably go for someone closer to my age, yeah. NOT a teenage poolboy. They’re pretty to look at, but does any teenage male know how to really pleasure a woman? Plus, as I’ve gotten older, my preferred age for men has aged, too. Generally, I won’t find a guy very attractive unless he’s within a decade of my own age. Now, I did say generally. Occasionally a much younger or much older guy will interest me. And I can appreciate a much younger or older guy’s looks, but not be interested in him.

For the record, I’m 51. I Googled a few men (some actors, some not) that I’ve been intrigued by. Most of them are a couple of years younger than I am, some are in their late 50s, a few in their 40s. I also Googled a few guys that I know are considered hot, but are younger than I am. In just about every case, I thought that the guys are just too bland and babyish looking.

I’ve told this story before, but when our daughter was in high school, occasionally my husband and I would pick her up. He would look at the school girls, and remark to me that they looked hot, but that he couldn’t ever get interested in them sexually, because they were just babies (these are 14 to 18 year olds, and he was in his late 30s at the time). His exact words were “I don’t know whether to date or diaper them.” I consider this to be a reasonable reaction.

Yes, “handled” was the wrong word for me to use. Your statement, that he can’t deal with a fifty year old’s issues, is more in line with what I meant to say.

[Unintentionally_Blank]

I think the vitrolic folks in this thread are missing out on a subtle shade to this story.

I feel sorry for him. Not ‘balding sleazy wierdo’ pity.

Sorry.

There is obviously something in his psyche that’s broken. He claims to want nothing more than a long term relationship where he’s wanted, but knows he won’t make that last. He does the damaging lifestyle until he can’t feel anything anymore then hides out.

There is a hole in this person and no matter what he does, it doesn’t get filled.

So, feel holyier-than-thou at your ability to get and hold onto a ‘healthy relationship’, but know that he may be doing this due to something he had no control over.

I’ve known people like that.

The Herion example was a good one. But not for the reason you think. You can be mighty critical of the addict if you’ve never experienced that sin.

[Siam_Sam]

@Bricker

I’m sorry, Jodi, but I don’t think that’s true. My wife worked in the visa section of the UK consolate (before she was my wife) and was privy to a great many “romance” stories between Dominicans and UK citizens. The majority of cases were girls that had precisely the sort of choice you imagine – low-level service jobs vs. sleeping w/ strangers for money or gifts – and chose the latter because it was more appealing. I’ve heard similar things from Thailand.

Also, I’ve known of at least one executive secretary to a chairman in a modern office and an official in the government’s passport office who have hooked on the side. They were certainly making above a “low level” wage – the secretary was good at her job and making a Western-level salary – although admittedly this is not common. But there does seem to be a fairly high number of working hairdressers in the freelance places.

BTW: If you take a girl out of the bar, be it for short time or all night, you pay the bar a fee. (Not the freelance places, of course, where the girls are not employees, but rather just go there as bar customers and look for their own customers.) This is called a “bar fine.” The theory is the fewer the girls, the fewer customers will be enticed into the bar, and so the bar is entitled to compensation, but really it’s just an excuse for the bar to make more money. Bar fines range from 400-600 baht (US$11.50 to $17), depending on the bar, with 500 baht being the most usual in Bangkok, slightly lower upcountry. The girl keeps all of whatever fee you agree on, and usually half of the barfine is kicked back to her. From time to time, a bar will issue one of those cards that you get stamped. Once it’s full, you’re entitled to a free barfine (but you still have to pay the girl). Some of us have labeled this the Frequent Fucker Program.

[Uzi]

@Lynn_Bodoni

If I was gonna pay for sex, I’d probably go for someone closer to my age, yeah. NOT a teenage poolboy. They’re pretty to look at, but does any teenage male know how to really pleasure a woman? Plus, as I’ve gotten older, my preferred age for men has aged, too. Generally, I won’t find a guy very attractive unless he’s within a decade of my own age. Now, I did say generally. Occasionally a much younger or much older guy will interest me. And I can appreciate a much younger or older guy’s looks, but not be interested in him.

I can certainly understand that. I find younger women attractive, but I can’t really stand to talk to most of them. No common interest. So someone about my own age (46) holds more interest to me even if I’m not as physically attracted to them.
Dennis Miller said something along these lines when referring to suicide bombers getting 70 virgins, “They’re okay (ed. the virgins), but at some point I’m gonna want a finger jammed up my ass”. Crude, but there is something to be said for experience and the willingness and enjoyment to do things for a partner that you love and care for.

[Siam_Sam]

@Uzi

I can certainly understand that. I find younger women attractive, but I can’t really stand to talk to most of them. No common interest. So someone about my own age (46) holds more interest to me even if I’m not as physically attracted to them.
Dennis Miller said something along these lines when referring to suicide bombers getting 70 virgins, “They’re okay (ed. the virgins), but at some point I’m gonna want a finger jammed up my ass”. Crude, but there is something to be said for experience and the willingness and enjoyment to do things for a partner that you love and care for.

Naturally I have friends who do indulge, and the general consensus is the younger girls may be hot-looking, but you can’t really do much with them, physically or otherwise. They seem to prefer the 30-ish ladies for the most part. More skilled and more mature.

[Siam_Sam]

And here is Jeremy Clarkson on us sad expats.

[Martini_Enfield]

I’m not sure I agree with Mr. Clarkson on this (I moved to Australia from NZ and I left plenty of friends and a decent job to do so), but I will say he still made me laugh hysterically at the article all the same.