Insect identification assistance

I don’t know what this sucker is, but I think it needs to die. die now with fire.

I went to the basement to work out at oh god thirty and it was slowly wandering around the floor. I put a nearby glass over it, finished my workout, and went back upstairs.

A little later, I wondered where the cats were, and found them, predatorially watching the captured suspect.

So, WTF IS this?

It’s got 8 legs, making me thing arachnid, but the four mandibles look odd for that and Og help me, googling for some way to identify insects isn’t helping.

Shouldst I call the Orkin man back out?

I think it is a Vinagaroon Spider. Search that and see what they’re all about.

Looks maybe like a spider of some kind. Might want to check here:

Looks like a pseudoscorpion to me. But quite a large one. I would love to see one - I’m jealous. Totally harmless. Let it go on with its short life.

Absolutely a vinegaroon. Get close to it and it will spray acetic acid–vinegar! It’s harmless, and will actually eat scorpions. It’s called a false scorpion or whip scorpion. Don’t hurt it!!

We’ve got an identification as a wind scorpion or sun spider.

pic here:

I don’t care what it does, just so long is it doesn’t do it IN MY HOUSE!

I agree with the sunspider, more than my pseudoscorpion. I realised after I posted that the front legs weren’t quite right. As I commented, it was a bit big. Great to have my ignorance fought a tad more. Thanks for this thread!