It sounds to me like this is your issue. First of all, as others, have pointed out, 145 isn’t especially fat. Second, I’m wondering why you think having long, dark hair and olive skin is a bad thing. I can’t think of any guy I know who favors blondes. You can’t blame your insecurities on everyone else.
Tell me about it! I have a hell of a time finding pants where the waist is the same size as the inseam. I have to settle for slightly baggy 34-32 instead of a better-fitting 32-32.
Ever heard of The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance? Friends of mine belong - a great place to feel comfortable.
Esprix
The problem is that after the heavy people stand up they’re to out of breath to object. :dubious:
Just because someone is a guy doesn’t mean they don’t know how it feels to be overweight. I’m overweight again and I hear hurtful comments all the time. Sometimes those comments come from loved ones who are actually concerned over my health. They don’t mean to hurt my feelings but who wants to hear that they’re fat?
Of course unlike you I don’t have any medical reason for being fat. Like most fat people I got this way because of an unhealthy lifestyle. You know, not eating the rights foods, eating to much, and not getting enough exercise.
Marc
If you see yourself as “fat” at 145, then you have bought into the nonsense the media pushes. Your weight is not the reason people are staring at you. Most women weigh that or more.
I know that being overweight is hard on guys too. But think about all of the things that some women do in order to be “attractive”:
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Shave underarms and legs.
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Have their hair straightened, curled, bleached, dyed, streaked and highlighted.
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Put on moisturizers, makeup foundations, cover-it sticks, eye shadow, eyeliner, mascara, blush, lipstick, glitter, high-lighter, nail polish, eyebrow pencils, night creams, lotions, perfumes, powders, exfoliators and facial masks.
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Pluck their eyebrows and curl their eyelashes.
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Have boob reductions and boob enhancements.
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Have electrolysis to remove facial hair.
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Get tattoos that give them nice eyebrow lines, permanently colored lips, and permanent eyeliner.
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Lose weight
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Gain weight
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Have tummy tucks and liposuction on abdomens, chins, arms, thighs, and butts
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Get face lifts.
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Have gastric-bypasses
I realize that some of these things are also done by men and that sometimes these procedures are for healthier bodies.
And I know I’ve left out lots of things, but these were off the top of my head.
I hope that someday we will quit buying into the crap and perpetuating the problem.
Then again, some of you can help it.
Sometimes I really don’t think the media knows what the heck they are doing. They give us pictures of skinny 13 yr olds dressed up to look like skinny 25 yr olds on heroin. Many of us guys do not like that look. I would venture to say that most of us guys do not that look. But, most of us guys do not buy these magazines and don’t give a hoot about what passes for fashion.
I think it’s the women who buy these.
No matter. It’s been said before here on the board. “No matter what body type you are, there’s somebody that’s into it”.
Or something like that…
Guys have it easy? Skinny guys have it easy?
Oh, how you are mistaken! To be queried all the time why you don’t eat more, when in actuality you eat vast quantities of food! Do you think it helps? Don’t even put on half a kilo. Do you think it’s easy to be a skinny guy, in a world where men are judged on how big, strong and fast they are? When a man’s life consists of “lift this,” “reach that,” and “beat up that mugger?”
You’re never going to win an argument with a tough guy at the pub. You’re never going to have a supermodel run her hand over your biceps proclaiming “oh, I love a big strong man!”
Do you think it’s easy for men like Michael Stipe when they attract rumours that they have AIDS because they’re thin, balding and reclusive (during the early 90s, if anyone’s wondering).
You weren’t big man on campus. You weren’t the football hero. You can’t even find a pair of pants that fit, because many brands don’t even make size 28 pants, the smallest often being 30.
When, after trying on a small size t-shirt, you have to ask, “do you have an extra-small?”
But, it’s easy to be a skinny man. Sure.
[/tongue-in-cheek rant]
Really, I don’t care. I like my body.
There is also a group of men who call themselves “chubby chasers” who really dig big girls. They have magazines and such. If you feel destined to be overweight, you might want to hang out with people who appreciate it. They’re out there!
What is your excuse? You admit to being able to loose weight, why did you put it on in the first place?
You wanna KNOW my excuse,huh? Well, excuse me for having a shit for a set of parents who made me feel bad about myself growing up. My youth was hell on earth,buddy. My mother a nd stepfather would constantly tease me about being ‘a little thick’ (when I was relatively normal at the time…neither over nor underweight)and call me names like Porkella and Shamu(like the killer whale at Seaworld).It started when I was probably around 11 or 12 and they always would do things like that when I was eating,even if it was something relatively low fat like airpopped butterless,saltless popcorn. So I guess it’s their fault I started turning to food as comfort and it’s taken me YEARS to learn how not to do that.Ok.So I admit I put it on in the first place as a defense mechanism and now I’m trying to take it off because I want to feel better about myself. How is that wrong? Really?
Zoe–I laugh at what ‘most’ women do to make themselves attractive and so does CG,thank goddess. I shave both underams and legs and bleach my facial hair but that’s about as far as it goes. I don’t do ANYTHING to make myself attractive because I don’t care for all that ‘girlie’ shit. It takes too much time IMO.
IDBB
The contradictions between the OP and the subsequent addendums are making my spinal cord ache.
ANY consistency? Please? I no longer have any idea who I’m supposed to be mad at. The Media, for portraying “thin = beautiful?” The people who made fun of I_D_B_B for being less than 80 pounds overweight? I_D_B_B’s parents for being less than perfect re: her body image?
It seems as though I_D_B_B is deliberately conforming to the same standards that she’s railing at Society for…telling her she needs to conform them them. I am confused.
Gee-IDBB got awfully quiet all of a sudden…
** Hamadryad **–Huh?
I’m not conforming to anything. I’ve always been a nonconformist. I don’t understand.
IDBB
for what its worth, when I was younger, I was never popular, yet it was always the overweight girls who were nice to me.
Being picked on can give you compassion.
Vanilla–or it can make you extremely old before your time, bitter, distrustful of humanity as a whole and a whole passell of other not so pleasent things.
IDBB
this dude is right…what happens when you diet and do aerobic exercise is that your body breaks down muscle to a degree and uses it for energy. A pound of mucle takes approximately 50 calories per day just to maintain normal body temp. What happens when you stop dieting and aerobics is that you gain the weight back…this time the muscle that you burned for energy gets “returned” as fat and you are fatter than you were the first time.
Put on muscle is the way to go…along with aerobics…you need to go to a gym and get on a program. Think about it…put on 10 pounds of muscle…that’s 500 calories per day more burned through your normal metabolism…that’s 3500 calories (a pound of fat) per week.
He’s right about carbs too…basically, stay away from any carb source that is white…flour (white bread), sugar, white rice, etc. The “white” stuff gets turned to fat easily…the brown or off color stuff is what is used for a “slow burn.” Note–when buying wheat bread, read the ingredients…if you see “flour” or “white flour” buy another brand. Many makers use up to 75% white flour for their wheat bread and artificially color it.
I think the reason people are confused IDBB, is because every time you post to this thread you’ve got ONE MORE SKELETON you’ve dragged out of the closet in an effort to gain positive feedback. First you were mad in the other thread at skinny people…oh but wait…it’s really the media…oh but wait…it’s really this illness you’ve been cursed with…oh but wait…it your piece of shit parents.
The fact is, people who are overweight and people who are underweight should have equal time in the ‘bitching about life department’…so your admonishment to the skinny girls to ‘shut the fuck up’ seems harsh when you’re in this thread begging people to accept you AND…AND listen to you bitch about your weight.
Does that make sense?
Ahah! I’ve got it!
IDB: Your parents worked for People magazine, didn’t they?
you know then,
That’s your problem, isn’t it?
I realize you may have had a shitty childhood, or what have you, but it is within your power to change things now.
As I see it, you have a choice:
stay bitter
or
don’t stay bitter.
get over it already.
You have a wonderful husband that loves you, a wonderful house (that you keep telling us is in such a nice neighborhood), etc.
If you find that you can not overcome the bitterness, then maybe you need help.
But going over your other pots:
re: your princess mother-in-law
re: your losing a job
re: poser punks (ha! I am not a conformist! I dress like all other goths and punks. oh…wait…)
have you ever stopped to think that these may stem from your additude?
Jesus, I don’t even know you and you come off as a really angry person. What ever must you be like in person?
Well, I notice, IDBB, that you haven’t refered to the shitty things you said in chiclidiot’s thread, either here, or there.
Wow. You really are a jerk.
I call bullshit on this. If most chicks had XXXL cups, then bra companies would make XXXL cup bras. It’s simple economics. The media does not decide what size bras will sell, the demand for different sized bras is what determines the sizes made.
BTW, I have a 320 lb. sister. She is fat. She also slathers mayo on everything she eats, eats double meat Whoppers, and biggie sizes everything. That being said, I do have sympathy for fat people, and I accept that is is not a situation where blame must be laid. Her body may be genetically predispositioned to being fat, but if it is, she ain’t doin’ much to help her cause.
And trust me, everyone is not staring at you because you are fat. You are being paranoid. If you were really, really fat, maybe, but from your description, uh-uh.