Real: Your character is crooked, I’ll fix you with a wrench!
Fake: You look a bit tired, shall we find you a bench?
Insult: Fighting you is difficult as singing My Humps!
Insult: Fighting you is difficult as singing My Humps!
Real: Bend over you rogue, while I give you your lumps.
Fake: I cut down my trees, now all I have are the stumps.
Insult: Your boots are quite scuffed, your clothes a disaster.
Real: Your insult, like your outfit, is sooo last y’ar*
Fake: How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
I’ve had enough of your incessant waffle!
*said in an English Nobility style drawl to get the rhyme right
Real: I’ll slice open your belly, so your guts spill out faster!
Fake: I see your sword is made out of plaster.
Insult: Your ship’s so slow, it sails backwards!
Taking on two people at once now.
Real: The thing about your swordfighting? It’s incessantly awful.
Fake: Chick peas are often used in a falafel.
Real: Keep your head in the fight, or I’ll cut you into thirds!
Fake: I’ve never seen the classic film, The Birds.
Only one counter, though. I don’t want this to get ridiculous.
Insult: Stop your dancing so I can run you through!
Real: Stop your yapping and I’ll see that the end’s swift for you!
Fake: It was your idea to see my tutu.
Well, since the last one didn’t have an insult in it…
Real: You’ll run Me though? Like that could be true.
Fake: When singing in church, you stand in the pew?
Insult: I’ll kick your ass so hard you can’t sit for a week!
Real: Your girlie voice will make a shriek when that weak kick meets my concrete physique.
Fake: I sell all fine wares at my boutique.
Insult: You look like a fairy with the wit of a bush.
Your wit is as rusty as an unoiled door-hinge.
Real: Walk out on the gangplank, and I’ll give you a push.
Fake: In this dress, do you like the look of my tusch?
New insult: You are the lowest of muck-dwelling vermin.
Real: That’s quite an insult, from a flea-bitten ermine!
Fake: I brew such great beer, you’ll swear I was German.
Real: Is that the reason your foot has such reek?
Fake: If you revive a zombie thread, the mods may well freak.
Real: Stop naming things that leave you squirmin’ , Your lack of skills is disconcernin’.
Fake: You wear the uniform of a World War II German.
Insult: Starting insult swordfights you just can’t win, your silly dress sense belongs in the bin.