**Dante ** I know this is a bit sudden, but, I lov:::::ooooooh pretty!
Our accountant was from Yugoslavia. She did all the tax stuff on the side for the entire Yugo ( not Croats. Not Serbs. No Herzamahwatevers. Yugos!) community in Michigan on the side of running her tiny little fiefdom at our office. Sidebar: We all asked Anna once to explain to us what exact was the problem with her home country and what the reason behind all the fighting and killing. After the first three minutes, she had lost everyone of us in total confusion with who was killing whom and whom worshipped what.
I think I have met every Yugo in the state. I am not kidding.
Their english was nearly non existant and, in fairness, my Yugo was only (phoentically) " cok-u-see" which is " How are you?" Anna was the only member of her community that I swear spoke excellent english.
So, a passle of them would waltz into our office, and because I was closest to Mrs. Anna, I would haf to deel wit zem.
Large Woman With No Front teeth: Mrs. Anna!
- (Not a question. A statement, like Yul Brynner in The King and I.) *
Me: She’s at lunch. She should be back in 45 minutes.
Oh, why do you do that, Shirley? It is always the same. You have to talk simply down to their level of talk so that they understand. K.I.S.S. and all. And yes, by the way, I can wave my magic wand to make Mrs Anna magically appear from her spot of invisibility at her desk right there::::poof::::
**Large Woman ** Huh?
**Me **: Mrs. Anna no here. Back one hour.
*It would even be more comical if I could do it in an asian accent *
**Large Woman ** Okey Dokey.
A while later Anna returns from lunch and I tell her she had a client with her posse stop by.
Anna What she look like?
**Me ** Big boned, Large. Foot ball linebacker large, but more scary. peasant style garb…
*You know, the average looking woman out there. *
**Anna ** No front teeth?
**Me ** Yeah.
**Anna ** Oh, that is Sophie’s third cousin’s brother in laws next door neighbor. she’s ok. Pays her bills on time and she’s a great cook…oooohhh, she makes ( insert gastromonical delight of Yugo’s here)
Me: How long has she been here?
*I have to interupt on the gastromonical discourse or I will start gagging. *
**Anna ** Ahhhh, she arrived here two weeks before I did. So…twenty six years. She works as a janitor at a hospital…(looking out the window) ohhh, there she is…she got her new car!
**Me ** looking outside A lincoln town car! She’s got no teeth on the top row, but she can afford a Lincoln!
Does not compute. Abort conversation. Anna’s world and My World clearly exist on different levels.
This happened damn near every time one of her clients came into the office.
And I have nothing against Yugo’s or fiats.
Dante, yours was a masterpiece.
