Yep. But whatever you do, you can’t tell her she’s not allowed to text or phone people.
I’d go so far as to say it’s a classic sign of emotional domestic abuse.
I’m trying to figure out why she hasn’t divorced OP’s ass already. Hopefully she’s got a lawyer and is preparing to do it. I have a feeling that the wife is actually smarter than he is and it reeeeeeally bugs him.
The act of hiring a PI to spy on a spouse is an even bigger red flag.
I wouldn’t go quite that far, but regardless, these attempts at control don’t work anyways, so whatever we call them don’t do it. Imagine the following scenarios:
- They are having an affair
- They are not having an affair but she is considering it.
- She is simply talking to him as a friend and has no intention of having an affair.
In none of the three scenarios will walking in throwing down the “I am the man, head of the household and all of its dominions, protector of its Christian name” card have any good effect.
If #1, she will sneak. If #2, it will drive her further into his welcoming arms. If #3, it will piss her off that she is doing nothing wrong and here you are ordering her around.
No marriage can survive when either party starts making demands.
Right, but are they a red flag that the wife is cheating or that she doesn’t trust the husband to not be a jealous jerk and snoop through her phone?
We know that one of those things is happening, and it alone is a arguably a sufficient reason for the deletion.
Who still gets a phone bill showing phone numbers for texts in and out?
I haven’t see that in decades.
After reading the other thread, I hope she’s having an affair with the other guy. He’s obviously much kinder to her than you are.
More than likely the other guy thought she was hot and your wife was flattered or clueless. Tell her she’s beautiful, the guy is attracted to her, and you’re a little jealous.
There’s no need for ultimatums or deception; she’s your wife.
You’re single, I see. 
I don’t plan on doing anything, but just give a visit to his wife when he’s at work. Give her a copy of the text messages. She’s a nut job and I will let her take it from there. He’s a spineless jerk, will NEVER go against his wife. This is just part time fun for him which my beloved wife is soon going to figure out.
Stay out of their business.
You have serious mental problems.
How are you going to distribute copies of text messages that have already been deleted?
Really? lol. Stay out of my wife 'n her friend’s secret chat business you mean freakin faggot? His wife has no clue what’s going on. If she thinks it’s ok, I will let her decide that.
He has a plan
What’s interesting is he asks for advice, and then decides on a course of action that literally no one suggested.
dup
Reading advice from some of these dim-wits here makes me think this is the better solution. Asking someone who doesn’t understand cultural values wasn’t a good idea to begin with. Well, my mistakeI guess.:smack:
But stay tuned, I will update soon, I really hope he deleted the texts from his side as well, that makes it even more exciting for the wifey.
I have to ask (especially since you didn’t answer this question in your last thread): what “cultural values” are we talking about?
You do understand, hopefully, that not all “cultural values” are universal. Posters on this board come from a wide variety of cultural backgrounds, in fact, and can’t be expected to automatically adopt your cultural perspective given that you haven’t even said what it is.
Although with responses like this
you’re not really doing your culture any favors as a representative.
Moderator Warning
Language like this is inappropriate here on the SDMB. Do not do this again. This is an official warning.
Ignoring the OPs past and responses, I have literally never seen CONSTANT DAILY texting between two people of the opposite sex that didn’t eventually result in either them both having sex, or one eventually making a move and the other rebuffs them so hard they never contact them again. 40 text messages at 6:40am means the dude woke up with an erection and had to satiate it by immediately talking to the woman he’s obessed with.
You can be friends with somebody and text every day but the sheer enormity of texts from a dude at such an early or late time means dude is texting with a boner the entire time.