A couple of years back, Kn*ckers started a thread asking the SDMB to create the next crew for the Star Ship Enterprise. I’m going to re-post my contribution to that thread here, just because I’m so fond of the character.
Name- T’Pai
Gender- Female
Race- Technically, Vulcan, but her parents were on an extended assignment on Earth which led to her being born and spending he formative years in Dublin, Ireland. Leads to many jokes about her being a “Green-blooded Irishwoman.”
Occupation- Engineer
Musical Instrument Played- A Klingon insturment with an unpronounceable (to the human tongue, anyway) name that is stringed, very bassy, and, due to the fact that it is made from natural, unsawed wood, impossible to keep perfectly tuned. T’Pai thinks it is worth the effort of keeping it tuned "close enough that an untrained ear wouldn’t notice (or, after a few pints of Guinness, which is hard to get this far from Earth, “close enough that a drunk Vulcan can tolerate it.” because the wood has a resonant quality that, when played, is just…
In love with (seasons 1-3) The ship’s navigotor, also Vulcan, but has never been to Dublin, who spurns T’Pai’s advances because he finds her to be illogical.
In love with (seasons 4-7) Some flaky Romulan dude none of her crewmates have actually met, except for the ship’s doctor, and the Vulcan navigator, who disapproves mightily, because after she gave up on him and then met the Romulan dude, he realized that he is in love with her, but, being a logical thinking Vulcan, won’t admit it, not even to himself.
T’Pai shows little emotion, neither is she ashamed to admit that she does, in fact, feel. She is generally respectful of the emotions of her human crewmates. She will express sympathy for a grieving crewman whose best friend got killed when some part of the engine blew up during a battle with this week’s mortal enemy, and, on occasion, will crack a smile. She is very logical in her thinking, but can twist logic into unrecognizable shapes, while making it all seem reasonable. She divides logic into two catecories, Vulcan and Irish, and uses both types with equal aplomb. Careful observation reveals that she does, in fact have a sense of humor, and a truly warped one at that. Most of her friends outside the crew or personnel of the ship are, for some strange reason, Klingons, and she has no compunctions about greeting an old and dear friend with a hug. T’Pai’s definition of an old an dear friend is someone she has gotten drunk with at least three times.
T’Pai’s major claim to fame is having started a cataclysmic food fight in the cafeteria at Star Fleet Academy. Her explanattion, given with a completely straight face, is that she was attempting to demonstrate to another Vulcan cadet that he cannot always expect other sentient beings to behave rationally. Every year since her graduation, some frustrated Vulcan cadet has started a food-fight in her honor, always giving the same straight-faced explanation.
Give her a few shots of tequila, and she can come up with a logical reason for just about anything.
oh, and I almost forgot…
Her main hobby is building little wind-up clockwork machines. This talent actually comes in handy more than once when the ship’s generator is failing, and she keeps the lights on and the oxygen flowing by building a flywheel-driven contraption that her Vulcan love interest grudgingly admits is about as efficient as a mechanical device of its type can be, and works remarkably well.
Her hero and inspiration is Rube Goldberg, and her secret goal is to build the ultimate Rube Goldberg Device. Her most recent endeavor in this regard was the creation of a gadget that would butter a slice of toast in forty-seven steps.
When she’s not out doing something incredibly silly, which she always has a logical explanation for, she spends her free time trying to find ways to make life simpler, less complicated. Unfortunately, this involves trying to find ways to decrease the amount of paperwork a person has to do, and she has thus far found the paperwork to be an insurmountable obstacle. Starfleet bureaucracy and all that.