Well today I was surfing around and on another MB I visit I was insulted by… well as this is MPSIMS we’ll just say he’d be a troll if he was here. Now I seem to recall at some point seeing an interesting way of telling someone to go take ahem sexual pleasure from a flying donut.
It was something along the lines of “Go take carnal pleasure from an arial pastry” but I can’t recall it exactly.
Does anyone know it?
And does anyone have any other good insults I can toss back while being really really insulting but seeming so polite about it? Along the same lines as the donut ones.
The donut thing is from Kurt Vonnegut’s Slapstick.
The text is:
Take a flying fuck at a rolling donut; take a flying fuck at the moon.
Tis one of my favorite comments, actually.
BUT Wait! There’s MORE!
(Got these in my e-mail):
“Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you!!!”
“You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing?!”
“How many times do I have to flush before you go away?”
“Well this day was a total waste of make-up”
“Well, aren’t we a bloody ray of sunshine?”
“Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.”
“Do I look like a fucking people person!”
“This isn’t an office. It’s HELL with fluorescent lighting”
“I started out with nothing still have most of it left”
“I pretend to work, they pretend to pay me”
“YOU!!.. off my planet!!!”
“Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose”
“Practice random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control”
“Errors have been made. Others will be blamed”
“And your cry-baby, whiny-assed opinion would be…?”
“I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.”
“Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.”
“Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed”
“Do they ever shut up on your planet?”
“I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable”
“Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.”
“Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.”
“Don’t worry. I forgot your name too.”
“I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?”
“I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.”
“Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it.”
“Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.”
“Wait…I’m trying to imagine you with a personality”
“Chaos, panic and disorder . . my work here is done.”
“Ambivalent? Well yes and no.”
“You look like shit. Is that the style now?”
“Earth is full. Go home.”
“Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?”
“I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.”
“A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth.”
“You are depriving some village of an idiot.”
“If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport!”
The following is from this page of great moments in MB history:
If I throw a stick will you leave?
I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
We used to make jokes about plates of food that looked like you.
You have the profound wisdom of King Solomon’s pet horse, Herman.
Attempt aerial fornication with a laterally rotating toroidal pastry is the polysylobic version of take a flying f**k at a rolling donut. Is that what you were looking for?
“You’re a terrible waste of skin and hair.”
“Oh, sniff my socks, you blood clot.”
“The only reason you’re still alive is that you’re not worth the cost of a bullet.”
“I’ve donated to charity the money it would cost to have you killed. I couldn’t take the cheapest bid, because two guys wanted to do it for free.”
“You’re not even a very good jerk.”
Yes Degrance that was the one I was looking for but couldn’t remember. Plus I was just curious about some other good insults along the same lines that I can keep in mind for opportune times. MLC I hadn’t heard that version before but that one’s good too.
