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i wouldn’t want to date a drinker, or a smoker, so that cuts off about half the city’s women - soulsling*
I’m the same way there. Light drinkers are okay, but no heavies or drugs. Or damn smokers!!! Yuck.
I started hitting a local Yahoo chat room some time back; I noticed that most of the people there were teens, even though it wasn’t the teen room (give me some credit). Not very many unattached females near my age. What I did do was post in my profile that I go jogging at a nearby high school in the mornings, and a description of certain things that I’m usually wearing. I wouldn’t expect a girl to do that, but that way any really interested can get a look at me without me knowing. No indication that anyone has, but like I said- it’s mostly teens, or older guys asking if any girls want to chat. I didn’t expect any miracles, but online I don’t know where the girls are.
!Idea! - Does Cosmo magazine have a chat room? - MC
I just checked out your picture, and i don’t see the problem. Seems to me like chic’s should be falling over you in your hometown.
I think it is increasingly difficult to meet people after high school/college. I heard the grocery store is a good place though. Are you shy? I would suggest just start asking out anyone you see IRL that looks interesting. It can’t hurt. Oh, and did i mention you’re good looking?
Disclaimer: Just a compliment, not a flirt
I don’t see the problem either. Then again, I don’t think I am a totally repulsive person either, but I couldn’t get a date if I were the last woman left alive on earth!
I used to belong to a group called Tampa Connection. You answered a long list of questions and posted a picture, which others could view. Then you could chat or send e-mails. What I liked most about the TC was that we had informal weekly gatherings at a local sports bar, so everyone could meet everyone, mix and mingle as we chose, with no pressure at all. What I got out of it was this: a lot of FRIENDS. But out of all the people I met through that place, only ONE interested me romantically. If I ahd to go through all of them one on one, like blind dates, I would have been very uncomfortable. The internet is just not the way for me to meet people in a romantic way. I know it works for others, but I agree with the people who have said that meeting online is not the same as meeting IRL.
Internet dating can work. My husband and I met in a chat room. You just have to be careful. As in real life, people can (and do!) misrepresent themselves.
I would have never found my husband had it not been for IRC. We have been married 2 1/2 years and are ridiculously happy. :o)
I work in a grocery store; I can tell you that it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Bars/clubs are by far the best way to have close encounters with the most people; you just have to find one you can stomache. -And keep returning regularly, becuse you don’t become a “regular” by going once a month. Bookstores are another possibility, if they have the loungng areas common now. Coffeehouses tend to attract a greater-than-average concentration of granola-munchers pretending they’re in Seattle or if they’re in Seattle, pretending they’re in Port Townsend.
One suggestion for all the single ladies out there: if you want to show that you’re single, stop wearing rings. Any rings, of any kind. The average guy has no idea how to tell a wedding ring from any other (untill he sobers up, anyway). Yes - it’s true, sometimes people wear them on a necklace, but it’s one subtle thing a woman can do to increase her chances of being approached. - MC
See, here’s my issue with bars and clubs. Can’t hear who i’m talking to. Can’t stand smokers in abundance. Don’t really want to get to know a drunk girl. I go to clubs when i feel like dancing. I like to dance, and i go fairly often, and i go for myself, not to pick up women. Bars, i like when the atmosphere is mature and soothing. I don’t and never did like college bars where all i ever did was pick up drunk girls and spend the night with them. That’s not what i’m after here. I’m 25, ready to meet someone and hopefully, eventually, settle down. I’m comfortable with my life and career field and such, all i’m missing is someone to share that with. So i tried the internet dating thing at the request of some friends, and viola, i meet some wierdos, but here’s the thing, the woman that “stood me up” emailed an apology today, and says she’ll actually call me. Won’t give out her number yet. I understand that, and have no problem with that, but still, does anyone think it’s wierd that i’m going to start talking to a woman i have never met except online? I don’t know what she looks like, but from our correspondence, i really like what she has to say, and she seems intelligent and caring. Two of the most important characteristics i look for in a woman. Heart, soul, and brains. Looks are helpful, but usually, i find that i find a woman more beautiful the more i get to know her if our personalities click. lunapark, awfully sweet of you to say. You can’t just walk up to a woman here in NYC on the street and introduce yourself without the risk of being beaten, killed, maced, stoned, spat at, slapped, or have the cops called on you. City’s gotten somewhat crazy lately again.
I agree.
I agree again.
I’m not desperate or anything, don’t get me wrong, i just want to be sure i’m doing the right thing, and if i’m not sure, does that automatically mean it’s the wrong thing?
Doesn’t mean it’s wrong, just that you go slow. IMO anyway.
And yay that she emailed back…calling is a kinda big step, and I can understand her being nervous. I know I was when I first called people I had met online.
Yes, online dating can work! I’m living proof of that… however it can be hard.
If your sitting somewhere getting to know someone in person you can tell if you have their full attention and if they are or at least trying to be… interested. Online however, you could be having this great conversation with someone you think is interested and that other person might be having the exact same conversation with 10 other gals in the same room as you. It’s also much easier to lie on a computer ,in my opinion, than in person. I have met many people from online… and only a small percentage of them actually looked and acted like they told me. In real life a person can’t particularly BS you about their looks.
The pros of online life is that you get to know a person one on one…intellectually <sp> before meeting. Their wit, smarts and overall personality emerge. You get to know them and sometimes care for them as a person without being hung up on their looks.
All in all it’s still a crap shoot. Sometimes you luck out and find someone great… other times you meet a player/loser who is just jerking you around. Same rules apply as in person. Think with your big head… be careful.
Sorry, soulsling, didn’t realize you were in NYC. It’s a little easier in my truck stop town.
I know this is a horrible cliche, but it’ll happen when you least expect it, hang in there. I agree with you on bars and clubs. I don’t think you’re going to find that ‘nice’ girl there.
As it is, she did call me. We spoke on the phone last night, and everything went very well. She’s charming, adorable, and sweet. That and intelligence are incredible turn ons for me. We spoke about the whole internet dating thing, and it’s pretty much understood that the whole purpose of us connecting this way is to hopefully eventually lead to something more along the lines of dating, without just spending a few nights in bed and being done with it. I like that. So the journey now begins, and where it leads, no one knows…
I’m living proof that Internet dating has highs and lows.
just like real life, I guess. Personally, I prefer meeting people online, because it’s easier for me to talk here to a stranger than face to face.
I spent a year talking to people online and dating. After several mistakes (mostly on my part), I finally lucked out and met someone great. I hope you have the same result i did!
I would give you a HUGE caution, which is “Buyer beware”. People on the internet can and DO lie. Many more people than you would think. About 2 years ago I met a woman online. I divorced my ex-wife because of her (I was separated at the time) since she said she wouldn’t meet me while I was still married. Only after I was divorced did I find out the woman was underage and about 100 pounds overweight. She had told me she was in her mid-twenties and had sent me numerous pictures of an attractive friend of her older sister claiming they were her. Some of these pictures went back to childhood so it seemed reasonable they were of a real person and not cut out of magazine so I never considered the possibility that I was being lied to.
If you get involved with someone you meet online meet them at the earliest possible opportunity so you know what the reality of the situation is. It is too easy to lie and many people do.
Actually, Im a bit ahead of the game. I used to call people with a Western Union telegraph machine around 1975, pure text & I got lots of dates with women that way.
handy, rarely do i meet the oddball that surpasses even my own wierdness. Thank You. Job well done.
Okay, no laundromats in my area full of lovely young women, just old greek women that don’t speak english and have teeth sticking out from every angle. They have beautiful daughters, but unfortunately, not my type. I’m not trying to find the gold mine of dateable women, just wondering if the Internet thing is worth it. So far, this girl i’ve met through it seems really sweet. We spoke on the phone, and it went really well. So wish me luck.
