Agreed. Just try talking to her gently about your concerns.
And I commend you for not being the type of guy who would give into temptation and use her.
thanx nothingman, today’s the day I actually pick up the phone and call her about it. I just couldn’t go through with it yesterday, she was so eager to see me this weekend. (argh!) I am busy, and usually, or rather I used to usually just give in and drop everything for the girl of the moment, but I know that just doesn’t work out for the better. I really need to get some work done at home, (like the SDMB doesn’t take up enough of my time…jk, DiabloII takes up more…jk again) and she keeps pushing the “I really want to see you, I love being around you…” after seeing me twice, once for coffee/tea, and once for a movie. We’ve spoken three times on the phone for approximately 2-3 hours at a time, and previous to that exchanged about 4 emails back and forth. This does not IMO impress upon me that we are very close, just have common interests. I enjoyed my time with her the first date. Then she immediately began the “leeching” phone calls and pleas to see me again. I was flattered, but it doesn’t stop, and that’s bad news in my eyes. I don’t think I can give her the other chance at this point without continuously thinking of what she is like. I’m very laid back, and I like hanging out with my buddies as well. Camping, hiking, rock climbing and the such. She is not interested, and until now, because next weekend i’m going camping, she decided she hated sleeping outdoors, but wants to try it with me… Not my cup of tea. If she’s interested in camping, I think she should try it on her own with her friends first, not with me. We hardly know each other. It just doesn’t feel right. So, I must tell her, you are right, but I will also let her know, that I do not wish to see her again, It just isn’t what I want.
sealemon88, thanx as well, I can’t use someone else, just as I can’t and have never cheated on anyone, because it really does make me feel like crap. I get this horrible pain in the pit of my stomach thinking of stuff like that. Perhaps because it was done to me… whatever, It’s just not the type of guy I am.
i think you should talk it over with her about what you feel and then give her another chance… since you haven’t known her for that long… and see how it goes.
Soulsling: good luck with the date. Even if things do not turn out this time, according to one of your posts you are only 25 years old. As the rolling stones put it:
“Ti-i-i-ime, is on my side, yes it is”
Meeting women gets easier as a male the older you get (up to a point of course!).
So, what happened Soulsling?
…well, I spoke to her, and she says she’s cool with it. I mean, I told her I thought she was pushing things a little too fast considering we went on two dates, and still don’t know each other, and that I think it’s wrong to bombard me with the sense that she’s made up her mind that this is final and I’m the “ONE” for her. She says she agrees, but she sent me a wierd email two days ago about her feeling ok about it if I didn’t want to see her again. I’m not going to get confused I’ve decided, so I’m waiting for the opportunity this weekend to talk to her in person. She said all kinds of things in her email that were very nice and flattering, but the truth of the matter is, we went on two dates, consisting all of 6 hours of both our lives. I can’t see how this differs from where my last girlfriend decided to rush into things, and after our third date, was asking if she could sleep at my place, and practically move in half her stuff. I think these things need to take time to mature properly, but I feel I can make my point better in person, and besides, I think it’s cruel to discuss this over the phone with her having that it may lead to us not seeing each other again. She does deserve the truth from me about how I feel, but I’m not a cold person.
Sounds reasonable to me- I’ve been there, and it’s tough. I hope it goes well for you.
That’s it. It’s over.
We didn’t live happily ever after, but so goes the game. Perhaps I shall be luckier next time. Until then, thank you all for your kind support and consideration. Your advice lent me great confidence such that I felt a king sorrounded by his advisors. To those of you still trying, good luck, it aint so bad out there, it’s just, well, to quote a character from one of Terry Pratchets books,
- “What’s it like out there?”
- “Well… It’s really big!”
Have fun kids. This adventure of mine is over for now.
I come to this thread just a tad late, but I have something to say to souldsling: I think you are a class act, man. I read this entire thread, and everything you said convinced me that you are a genuinely nice guy. (That Army photo notwithstanding) I hope you have better luck in the future.
Gee, Lizard, wanna tell everyone what got you here? I know… but I won’t say because I’m such a big meanie! (and I’m trying so hard to reform, at least until Santa comes… after that…)
P.S. it’s soulsling. And he does, indeed, rock.
Why Byzantine, how wonderful! You mean you frequently scan 4 month old threads out of simple curiosity also? What a quinky-dink! 
You have to admit my thread in that “other” forum got hijacked in a major way.
Don’t be coy. Hijacked or not I think someone has a massive hard-on for me and it isn’t you. For anyone wanting to see “How to be a martyr and act like you don’t KNOW someone” please follow this link:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=48615
And I’m gearing up a “special” BBQ post JUST for her! It’s my way of thanking her for being a fan; which we all know is short for fanatic; even if she DOESN’T “really” remember my name!
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=48920
Here you go, Sangria… you get your wish!
Thanx a bunch Lizard, needless to say, I am now in my fourth month of dating a girl I met at a club that neither of us ever go to except for the one time we met because we were curious about the club. She’s a gem. Good luck to all those out there in the internet dating world.
Byzantine, you con artist you…
I almost proposed to a woman I met originally online so my opinion is probably colored slightly.
I don’t really see much difference in the quality of dates, online vs. real world. The same potential, and problems, are there once you meet.
If there’s one thing I would advise it’s not to expect some kind of magical ‘chemistry’ BS to suddenly appear. Chemistry is for friggin’ chemists. In the real world, sometimes the first date sucks but if you try it again it’s fun - sometimes the first date is great and the second isn’t.
To this date I’ve never failed to ask a woman out again after the first time - I haven’t met anyone so horrible they didn’t deserve a second shot.
Take things easy, let everything happen without analyzing it, and don’t rush to judgment. Now, if I could follow my own advice…
Take it from one who’s been there twice (that would be me) – even if you and your net.sweetie DO hit it off and have a wild, mindblowing weekend of unbridled passion together, you still live hundreds or thousands of miles apart. The fact that it’s a long-distance relationship will ALWAYS be a big big big big BIG stumbling block. Occasionally such distances can be overcome (such as when one person is sick-and-tired of the area (s)he’s living in and is willing to move in with you), but DON’T BANK ON IT.
Oh, and here’s hoping Satan and Drain Bead have a good run.