I think there are way too many folks who limit themselves when it comes to their dating choices when there ARE alternatives. In my case, I learned early that love has no color. Did I go through some challenges and obstacles? You bet. But in the long run, I opened my opportunities for dating immensely by not limiting myself to white women. The result so far is that I have been tremendously enriched by cross cultural dating, because it really becomes a lot more than merely dating. You can’t live in a vacuum when you date a woman of color for example. My experiences and enjoyment in the realm of ‘black culture’ have truly been eye opening, enlightening, and very enjoyable. I’m sure this post will draw some bigots who will flame it, but I’d love to hear from others who have had experiences similar (or not) to my own, when dating cross-culturally, interracially.
I am white myself and had a live in girlfirend for several years who was fullblooded philipino and have also dated several hispanics over the years.
Culture clashes, yeah, here and there but as long as you both acknowledge that it will happen and you work through them its a wonderful and mind broadening experience
and not just from being called every obscenity known in tagalog and ilocano by parents :rolleyes:
You’re suggesting “don’t limit your dating possibilities because of race” rather than “SO’s of races other than my own are better than SO’s of my own race”, right?
If that’s the case, then I’ll chip in my agreement. Someone’s skin color and/or ethnic background shouldn’t prevent you from finding them to be a wonderful partner.
Though do go in with your own eyes open about the cultural differences and biases you will run into.
I like Japanese, Philippine, Taiwanese, Brazilian, Hispanic and white women. (I’m white.)
I’ve had problems with black, Vietnamese, Mexican, Chinese and Native American women.
I prefer white and Japanese women.
To be the antagonist:
Post count: 1, I should have guessed.
Although you may feel good about yourself for coming and dispelling all of the ignorant stereotypes of non-whites that we hold, you might want to realize that this board is a pretty “enlightened” and diverse place already, and I am pretty sure that no one is going to flame you for dating a person that does not look like you. No one really even cares. We are running desperately short of ignorant bigots on the SDMB.
Other than that, I would like to point out to you that you did not experience black culture; you experienced a black person’s culture. It certainly pisses me off when people expect me to partake in a culture because of my appearance. That’s why you should not approach black strangers on the subway in Armani suits with headphones on and ask them if they are listening to some, “bitch ass rap,” under the impression that you are going to suddenly be marked off in the “cool and with it column” in their book. They are probably going to be offended.
Other than that, you really are not arguing anything except for a claim that is so agreed with it become null. This really belongs more in MPSIMS than GD, seeing how it is unlikely that anyone will disagree with you. Perhaps if you were arguing that “inter-racial” dating was inappropriate, it would belong here.
Adventurous, it is interesting to me that someone who seems to agree with the poster, presumably NOT a bigot, would make broad classifications of potential dates based upon your own very limited experience with any of your black-listed ethnicities.
Seriously, how many Vietnamese people have you dated? One, maybe two? And you want to cut yourself off from all of these future potential partners?
Perhaps the OP has something to say after all.
How many should I date?
5, 10, 20?
I’m in my late 40’s. Did a lot of dating in my time and, out of personal preference, chose those whom I like the best.
Personally, I found the Vietnamese women too skinny, a bit too shrill and very, very much wrapped up in traditional family. That was just the few I dated. I prefer not to date anymore.
Oh have you checked out his thread on the evils of the Oriental race? It’s logic is…well lacking.
Other then “Ooo, look at me, I’m so enlightened that I date outside my race” what is the point? Does anyone here see a debate?
Yes, please, I’d like to debate Threemae on whether we are in fact running desperately short of ignorant bigots on the SDMB.
Thanx, C-Bury, for the pointer. http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=57687
I’ve been avoiding that thread, because I assumed from the title that it was yet another tendentious dissertation on race. However, now that I’ve actually opened it, I see it’s a real hoot.
Hey, Adventurious, I didn’t know women came in flavors, like salad dressing.
"I like Italian, Western, French, Russian, Blue Cheese, and Thousand Island (my mother always served Thousand Island).
I’ve had problems with Creamy Italian, Garlic, Ranch, Honey Mustard, and Green Goddess.
I prefer Thousand Island and Italian.
Personally, I found the classic French vinegar and oil dressing too thin, a bit too sour, and very intimidating due to its strong “traditional” baggage."
yay! ignorant white guys like to fuck our women!
people of color…rejoice! racism is really going to end now! white guys enjoying an exotic “walk on the dark side” have truly helped alleviate our suffering through hundreds of years of slavery, colonialism and imperialism.
i would go off, but i’ll save it for the Pit. until then, save your pathetic slumming stories for your friends…
“White Male in the HOOD?” That has to be one of the least fortunate names I’ve seen yet. It immediately makes me think of:
- Someone who is unduly focused on race
- The Ku Klux Klan
- Hi Opal!
- the King of the Uncircumsised, Jack Dean Tyler.
You’ve only got one post, so maybe you might want to think about a new (shorter) moniker with less baggage. YMMV
… so to speak.
<ducking and running>
Yep, it definatly drew a bigot. Nothing speaks louder than a black person who is offended that a white person isnt racist. And no, my name doesnt imply any sort of Racial implications.
I find this reply extremely amusing. it almost seems like a troll. I dont recall him mentioning that he was dating a black woman to alleviate your “suffering”
Hey, you are stopping way short wmith. Try dating those of your own sex as well. Let’s not forget to get rid of age bias too. Hell, just fuck everything that moves…and doesn’t move.
I’m sorry, but I can’t help but think that the point of the OP is to prove what an enlightened guy he is. Marry a wombat, then I will be impressed. we all have preferences, but preferences do not equal prejudices.
Um, apparently to you it does, because you appear to treat people of other races/cultures that you date as cruise directors on some tour of a world not your own. That’s what you imply by posting:
Wow! Lucky you! You didn’t just get to go out with a person you liked, you learned so much in the process!
Don’t get me wrong – I’m willing to assume you posted with a good heart. But aside from the fact that I, like MGIBSON, don’t see a debate here, I think it is not as complimentary as you imagine to treat a significant other as a cross-cultural tour guide, or to imply that such concerns should lead one to date a person one is otherwise not interested in.
I think it’s good to encourage us all to date people we like and are attracted to, regardless of color. But the rationale for this should be that attractive, intelligent, fun, amazing people come in all colors and from all cultures – not that dating “out” can get you a free glass-bottom boat tour of the 'hood.
You know, I was going to call you on this, but the OP does sound a little bit like “Hey, I got tired of the same old routine, so I’ve chosen to spice things up a bit!” This is not the way to approach a relationship.
Me, I date a lot of Asian boys, but I really couldn’t tell you why. When I first started dating it was all white guys, and then about 4 years ago - wham! I started being attracted to Asian men, and I really don’t know why.
Not that I’m complaining, mind you, and I still find a lot of white guys attractive (and blacks and Latinos), but of late it’s been predominantly Asian.
It is very predictable that the only truly racist and derogatory comment would come from a black guy. Dating out of your race doesn’t bring any accolades from anyone, nor am I looking for any. Disapproval seems to come easily from all sides, male, female, white, black or ‘other’. However, the degree of disapproval always appears to be most derisive from some, and I stress the word SOME, men of color. These particular dudes, known in the common vernacular as the typical ‘angry black male’ will probably remain a fixure upon our landscape for the next few decades, at least, until SOME folks start realizing they can control their own destiny and not get upset by anyone finding joy by relating to one of ‘their’ women.
I will take a moment to laugh at Jodi who obviously thinks that a person who dates interracially is attempting some kind of ‘tour’ of another culture. <insert uproarious laughter here>
I also got a good chuckle or two out of the poster who asserts that these boards are some sort of mecca for the ‘enlightened’ and that we may have a drastic shortage of bigots in here. Thanks for the comic relief!
Let me see: were you previously banned and now returning? How is it you know the SDMB so well? While I will say there is a lot more prejudice around than anyone likes to admit, you’re acting like an ass.
Oh, man, not another one.
He’s too small. Throw him back.