Introducing BOLD NEW ZESTY Tripler!

[andygirl]

*Originally posted by Hamadryad *
**andygirl: What, doesn’t Magically Delicious Hamadryad at least HALF count? **

I think of you as your own fabulous entity, m’dear.

Now tell me more about this magic.

[Doobieous]

*Originally posted by Tripler *
**

And now one for the lovely ladies . . .

Introducing New HOT & SPICY Tripler! “Just one taste will put you in heat!!”
**

Tripler, you keep talking like this and well…

So with the new Bold Raspberry Tripler, are you saying you are indeed fruity? Or would that have to be Fruit Cocktail Tripler?

[Kat]

I’m holding out for Milk Chocolate Tripler.

[Tripler]

*Originally posted by Doobieous *
**So with the new Bold Raspberry Tripler, are you saying you are indeed fruity? Or would that have to be Fruit Cocktail Tripler? **

No, that’d have to be Fruity Cocktail Mixer Tripler. We’re still working on the non-alcohol phase first.
Tripler

[Geobabe]

*Originally posted by Bluesman *
**I’m pretty sure that I’d have to say that I now have 33% more FREE!

I’ve changed my packaging, too, but the market survey hasn’t revealed any change in consumer’s buying habits.

For a limited time, like when Lucretia won’t find out, you can get a free sample by just sending in a coupon with your name, phone number, full-length nude picture and a round-trip airline ticket from Baltimore to your city. Some restrictions apply.* Limited time offer (like, until she gets suspicious).
TRY SOME ORIGINAL BLUESMAN TODAY!

*You gotta be a female, and a hottie. **

Ooh, here indeed is a toughie. On the one hand, Bluesman is one fine piece of man-meat. On the other hand, I really like Lucretia, plus I fear she could do some real damage were she to become upset. Hmmm…what to do, what to do…

[Watermelon_Man]

Now you guys got me thinking hard!

My general manager of marketing affairs was suggesting we go into some kind of product variation…and put new versions of me into the market: Blueberry Man, Pumpkin Man, Gren Apple Man, Sourcherry Man etc…

Tripler, can I make a market research on your example to see if it works??

[Tripler]

*Originally posted by Watermelon Man *
**Tripler, can I make a market research on your example to see if it works?? **

Sure! While you are at it, give out little coupons for $3 off when they buy two bottles. And think up something I can do with rebates. I’ve always loved rebates. . .
Tripler
I now have clean socks.

[Jekeira]

How about this: whenever you buy any Tripler-brand product, you can peel off some identifying feature and collect them, and if you get a certain number, or a certain combination, you can send away for prizes. Tripler t-shirts, bumper stickers, ball caps, leather jackets, tattoos, neckties, stained-glass windows.

So people will buy more Tripler, in order to emblazon their bodies and homes with advertisements for Tripler.

And of course, since no purchase is necessary, there has to be some sort of option (in incredibly tiny print) that allows you to get TriplerStamps by typing your name and address with a Smith Corona manual typewriter in green ink on exactly one-third of a 3x5 card, and send this with a SASE to some obscure address in the midwest (Minot should work nicely) in order to collect stamps in the mail.
As for me, I’m all about “The Joy of Jekeira.” Like it? I also come in Jekeira Free, with a little touch of lemon.

[Tripler]

Buy Bold Zesty Tripler and win a trip with Tripler!!

That’s right! By purchasing a bottle of Bold Zesty Tripler you are automatically entered into the contest! Prizes are as follows.

Grand Prize: A three day – two night vacation to scenic Seacaucus, NJ, accompanied by your favorite dislocated Doper! Imagine the beautiful sights of the Empire State building and World Trade center gracing the skyline, with a scenic look at the Pulaski Skyway and NJ Turnpike in front. Marvel at the Meadowlands as flocks of pigeons and seagulls graze away. All the exciting nightlife and tourist spots you can hit are yours on this wonderful vacation!

First Prize: A signed Tripler hockey jersey, worn by the not-so-legendary player himself!

Second Prize: A Tripler Tee! An extra-large and extra comfy white cotton T-Shirt boldly emblazoned with the Tripler ™ logo

Third Prize: A Tripler Cover! A big comfy beach hat, ready for party action on the distant shores of New Jersey!

Fourth Prize: A free bottle of Classic Tripler! Now 50% bigger and 100% original!

[sub]* Contest Rules:*

For complete contest rules, please send a SASE to:

TripCo
Middle of Nowhere
PO Box 666
Minot ND, 58701

Actual odds of winning vary dependent on the number of Dopers playing, and number of beer provided to Tripler. To claim a prize, send winning ticket, via certified mail to the above address along with signed affidavit certifying eligibility and that you are a female hottie, two NJ Devils tickets, four filet mignons marinated in Worcestershire sauce, two Canadian geese, and a midget named “Bob”. Contest entries cannot be returned, and neither can “Bob”. This contest is void in pretty much any combat zone, any third world country lead by any leader named “Zeke”, and in Pago Pago, except on the third day of the ninth month, during a blue moon. TripCo is not responsible for any damages incurred while using Original, Bold Zesty, or Bold Raspberry Tripler. Tripler and it’s parent company TripCo cannot be held liable for any intentional misuse of Tripler, and any use inconsistent with labeling is a violation of Federal Law. Please use Tripler responsibly, because only you can prevent forest fires.[/sub]
Tripler
Please use me responsibly.

[BunnyGirl]

Please use me responsibly.

So, what you’re saying is that you want to be used, right?

[Falcon]

I had the EXACT same thought, Bunny.

Followed quickly by: “He wants a midget named Bob? Why?” Then I realized…I really didn’t want to know. (Nights getting long up there in North Dakota, Trip?)