Alright,
What the hell is up with everything? Everytime I go to the grocery store, I can’t buy just plain stuff anymore. It’s all BOLD and APRIL FRESH or EXTRA STRENGTH or something.
Like, what happened to just plain regular “Tide”. I just want some freakin’ laundry detergent. I ran out of socks. I just want some clean socks. None of this MOUNTAIN FRESH crap. It’s not like the chicks are bending down in the bar to smell my feet or anything. . .
Tripler
And yes, I am Zesty thank you . . .
Makes ya wanna run over to the corner tavern and swill a couple a Old-Fashioneds, doesn’t it?
Ingredients:
[ul]
[li] 2 oz Blended whiskey[/li][li] 1 cube Sugar[/li][li] 1 dash Bitters[/li][li] 1 slice Lemon[/li][li] 1 Cherry[/li][li] 1 slice Orange[/li][/ul]
Mixing instructions:
[ul]
[li] Combine the sugar cube, bitters, and 1 tsp. water in an old-fashioned glass.[/li][li] Muddle well, add blended whiskey, and stir.[/li][li] Add a twist of lemon peel and ice cubes.[/li][li] Add slices of orange and lemon and top with the cherry. Serve with a swizzle stick.[/li][/ul]
Trip, my man, you hang out at the wrong bars, dude.
Oh yeah. Minot. Sorry. Very sorry.
Tastes better if you cut back on the sugar (I always use less than 1/4 of a teaspoon), substitute Bourbon for the blended whiskey, use Peychaud bitters rather than Angostura, and limit the fruit intake to just the lemon peel.
Hmph…I seem to be following UncleBeer around and saying things to needle him. Could it be the weather? The pollen count? Is Jupiter aligned with Mars?
Goes into stupid mode
Zesty! Zesty!
Zesty times two!
Zesty, party of two!
Uno, dos, zesty!
Hey Zesty! Hold on a second. Zesty!
It’s fun to be stupid.
mmmmmmm - I always wanted me a zesty young thing… or is it that I always wanted to BE a zesty young thing??
Be that as it may, Tripler, how can you possibly improve upon the perfection that is you???
No, I am not drinking. Well, water, but that’s all…
Rats!
I was secretly rather fond of the “original Tripler”.
And I even know where Minot is!
Mmm Trip, can you prove this? I think we need ourselves a taste test contest.
Queen Isabella:
I like you.
Tripler:
You may be zesty, but you are not, as I am, magically delicious.
Hey, can I get in on that? 
Eventually, people will tire of the BOLD NEW ZESTY Tripler and begin to clamor for Classic Tripler.
I was once told that I was fruity. Now, if I were a man, I’d assume this meant that I was effeminate. But I’m a chick. So I didn’t know how to respond.
New Fruity Swiddles!
Perfection? Moi?!? Methinks not. . .
Ladies and Gentlemen, fear not. There will always be Original Tripler. And after the initial success with Bold Zesty Tripler and a handful of Guinesses at the local pub last night I am proud to announce . . .
Bold Rasperry Tripler
So now on the market is New Fruity Swiddles, Magically Delicious Hamadryad, Original, Zesty, and Raspberry Tripler. Should we look at a “Sampler Pack”?
Tripler
See what drinking in Minot does? It makes you weird. . .
I’m pretty sure that I’d have to say that I now have 33% more FREE!
I’ve changed my packaging, too, but the market survey hasn’t revealed any change in consumer’s buying habits.
For a limited time, like when Lucretia won’t find out, you can get a free sample by just sending in a coupon with your name, phone number, full-length nude picture and a round-trip airline ticket from Baltimore to your city. Some restrictions apply.* Limited time offer (like, until she gets suspicious).
TRY SOME ORIGINAL BLUESMAN TODAY!
*You gotta be a female, and a hottie.
Mmmm… Bold Raspberry Tripler. Gonna have to try that.
I wonder if they’re gonna make a Tripler Light. You know, “All the Tripler, half the fat.”?
What I wanna know is if Tripler is going to come out with a line of products for the ladies.
[sub]if that’s not a set up, I don’t know what is.[/sub]
andygirl: What, doesn’t Magically Delicious Hamadryad at least HALF count?
Funny you should mention that. I hopped on-line for the express intent of telling all the ladies about the new line. Strange coincidence!
And now one for the lovely ladies . . .
Introducing New HOT & SPICY Tripler! “Just one taste will put you in heat!!”
Tripler
Set and spike.
So where do I place an order, hmmm?