[sup]EPISODE VI: RETURN OF THE BUDWEI[/sup]
8:02
THespos relays story of Management Nazis and Christina Aguilera. (Miss Aguilera was our noted celebrity-lookalike waitress for the evening. We believe the Management Nazis and Christina Aguilera were in cahoots).
8:04
Satan is missed as a DopeFest attendee. Much sorrow is expressed. Summoning his name has proved fruitless. However, the night is still young. . .
8:07
Travelling band of Morons arrive at The Villiage Idiot. Tripler is struck by the resemblance of the place to bars in Arizona. Tripler declares the Idiot “His favorite Bar in NYC”.
8:09
(unknown author: ) Leather pants wearing waitress does not WANT to take credit cards!! :mad:
8:12
Karaoke rendition of CCR’s “Have you Ever Seen the Rain” rendered by THespos, Lurkernomore, and Tripler. Tripler continues with G. Thorogood’s “Move it on Over”
8:16
It is noted that there is a lot of dancing to the music. Festivities abound!
8:19
Tequila shots are ordered by numerous people of the Teeming Millions. 17 shots ordered, 19 delivered, but only 15 Dopers drank. Go figure. . .
8:27
“Hamadryad is awesome”. is written by a Hamadryad who commandeered the good book for her own Good.
8:28
Tripler (NJD) and Lurkernomore (NYR) decide to do vodka shots. The worst is expected . . .
8:37
(unknown author: ) Andygirl and Nacho4Sara , 18 and 19, get into the bar uncarded. Once again, corruption of the underaged is a success.
8:37.30
Nacho4Sara declares rather boisterously that she is betrothed and engaged to SuaSponte.
8:38
Biggirl flashes her (scandalously hidden) nametag to a receptive crowd.
8:39
(from Hamadryad: ) Pool table will not give up balls.
(From Biggirl): Suggest we for the men to put up a T or 2 of their own.
8:41
Illegible handwriting by Biggirl will be included in the final journal, but is noted to have some discrepancies.
8:42
For the record, {b]SuaSponte** does not hit on 19 year old girls.
8:45
Mirth continues, and the ‘Note Nazi’ figures at least 35% survivability to the Villiage Idiot. Tripler believes many will read this transcript and smile. Hamadryad declared a “boring loser” by SuaSponte.
8:47
Tripler revises estimate to 65% survivability.
8:50
Cecil Adams arrives!! Rhythmic gyrations of the Teeming Millions continue to the twangy tunes of Country music.
8:51
Final head count indicates 45 souls are on board the DopeFest! A great success! Huzzah!
8:53
(from Hamadryad: ) Hamadryad gets no play. Trend expected to continue, despite her best low-key efforts.
8:55
SaxFace mounts the bar to dance, in front of a cheering crowd.
8:56
SwimmingRiddles follows suit, and both swing and hop down the bar. Both are declared hotties by public referendum. Swiddles later begins accepting dollar bills via her waistline.
8:59
Song ends, but the bar dancing continues. Nacho4Sara joins the dancing troupe.
9:00
Andygirl explains she tipped Swiddles for her fine bar dancing. Lurkernomore adds that he was the first to donate.
9:08
(from Hamadryad: ) Hamadryad protests, and notes that Tripler is a weenie.
9:09
(from Hamadryad: ) Swiddles netted $3 bar dancing. A career change is anticipated, but not necessarily expected. Nacho finally gets off the bar, despite protests from Tripler and “The Boys”.
9:10
(from Hamadryad: ) Hama notes that Tripler is a horny weenie.
9:12
Tripler the ‘Note Nazi’ hereby declares that while he agrees with Hama, he will no longer allow her to author his memoirs. Case closed.
9:15
(unknown author: ) It is noticed that Andy is most likely the only 18 year old who sneaks into bars and orders Diet Coke.
9:16
(from Hamadryad: ) (Something is) Noted and seconded by Hama and thirded by Falcon. Hama notes that she has again gotten control of the memoir, reiterates that Tripler is a horny weenie - more “weenie” than “horny” to all appearances - and hands off to Falcon for the goal!
9:17
Tripler again wrests control of the memoir, and hereby closes any and all correspondence by others. This is getting out of hand. Tripler is IRL offended by the “weenie” comment as he defends a nation, as well as the ladies that call him a “weenie”. Rant closed.
9:20
(from Hamadryad: ) Hama retracts the “weenie” comment, and admits that she’s only lashing at Tripler because he’s a mad hottie and she’s feeling all dissed and has no social skills. CHAPPPY? Besides which, she got on her knees for him.
9:20.30
Tripler is now closing the “other author” option. He states that he is a weenie, but the Teeming Millions are more interested in the facts, rather than the opinions of Dopers present… .
9:24
(from MannyL) Mursertroid tonight was recognized by Biggirl as being Michael Vacation from MTV Karaoke.
9:30
(from Billdo: ) Billdo is sick of being a Mama duck.
9:34
Tripler reasserts his non-hottieness, ending the argument once for tonight!
9:35
Swiddles disagrees with Tripler’s declaration.
9:37
(from Kim: ) Kim thinks Cecil Adams and his “friend” are closer than most friends.
9:40
Nacho4Sara observed as having a great time, while hanging off of several male members of teh local populace.
9:44
SaxFace threatens Tripler with a death duel in dancing. . .
9:46
Of Hama & Silo: Tickling begins. Physical flirting ensues. Soulsling involves himself as reinforcements. Falcon decides to get in on the tickling action. WCW & WWF style takes shape as the “IdiotFest” parlays further into the eve. Hama begins undressing Soulsling
9:48
The pelvic thrusts of the previous group are noted. Silo and Hama are noted “moshing” amidst country music. Craziness ensues.
9:50
(unknown author, witten in green magic marker): SaxFace breaks beer mug.
9:51
THespos busted for checking out the waitress. For the record - very cute!!
9:56
THespos offers $500 to Tripler to get Andygirl to convert to the “Light Side of the Force”. Underwear included.
9:57
Lurkernomore seeks to get good mention in my notes. The good man is having no trouble, as he is a good man. Sousling chews glass & safely spits it out!! Soulsling is now curl (?) again! Lurkernomore is also a good loyal Rangers fan, and a close bud of Tripler
9:59
Sousling “swallows” broken glass!!
10:00
THespos loses his cellphone at Chumleys’, but finds it in his pocket at the Idiot. Trip protests to Falcon he is not cute or sweet or huggable. She does so anyway.
10:07
Tripler hereby declares his non-hottiness, and declines further advances to the same.
10:08
Nacho tries to get Luxfiat into the bathroom.
10:21
Hamadryad is noted as an insatiable tickler.
(author unknown) One Doper, under cover of darkness, secretly smoked a cigarette. SuaSponte poured himself a beer from a non-Doper’s pitcher. The non-Doper was heard to say “Go for it!”
10:47
For the record, at this point Andygirl has had a dozen Diet Cokes, and paid for none.
1054
Switching to pen, because pencil is dead. Falcon wants to hookup, and I am pretty buzzed.
10:57
Where are Lux and Sara? Everyone wants to know.
11:01PM EST
Many depart (myself included).
- 0636, Sunday 7 January 2001*
Tripler walks home. All is well, and the fate of the Free World is still secure.
[sup]Final Thoughts[/sup]
I had a freakin blast! Thanks to all, and I hope y’all had as good a time as I did. Our award for Furthest Travelling Doper (discounting Tripler because he’s on leave in New Jersey) goes to HAMADRYAD. Others of Honorable Travelling Mention are: **Falcon, SwimmingRiddles, Robot_arm, LuxFiat, Nacho4Sara, SmackFu, and Andygirl!
[sup]Who made it! (In order of arrival)[/sup]
Tripler, Falcon, Wonko the Sane, Biggirl, Beer Church, Houseman, SwimmingRiddles, THespos, Lurkernomore, Robot_arm, Zebra, DAVE0071, SuaSponte, delphica, LuxFiat, Joe_Cool, Jersey Diamond, Friedo, Rosebud, Pattycake, Allesan, GreenBean, Vix, Hamadryad, OpalCat, UndeadDude, Nacho4Sara, smackfu, Soulsling, Little Nemo, Pucette, Maeglin, Overengineer, Chance the Gardener, Alphagene, Ukulele Ike, Manhattan, Andygirl, Billdo, Brachyrhynos, MannyL, Tymp, and Stuyguy. Also, thanks to our celebrity look-alike waitres, Miss Sara Baxter!
*Thus endeth the Tome of knowledge, of the Good Book of the Straight Dope NYC 2001 DopeFest. So let it be written, 'cause we were too drunk to remember it all. . . *
