Jan 6 NYC Dopefest: Official Countdown(Linked! Don't Delete!)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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In the spirit of the official countdown to a prior NYC dopefest, I hereby present the:

OFFICIAL COUNTDOWN TO NYC DOPEFEST VI: CHAOS AT CHUMLEY’S

Three Weeks and counting

When: January 6, 2001. 6:00 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (GMT -5)

Where: Chumley’s, 86 Bedford Street (corner of Barrow Street), New York, New York 10014
Note that this is an old speakeasy with an unmarked door.
For more info (including the history of the bar), click on their website: http://www.chumleys.citysearch.com/

Ask for “Cecil Adams” party.

Transit: Take the 1 train to Christopher Street/Sheridan Square, A-B-C-D-E-F trains to West 4th Street or the PATH train to Christopher Street.

Parking: Suggestions to follow.

Who: (so far) Alessan, Ankh_Too (offering sexual favors at low, low wholesale prices), Annie-Xmas, Biggirl, Billdo, Brachyrhynchos (bristlebeak), Cajun Man, capacitor, DAVEW0071 (your friendly neighborhood hired killer), delphica, DrMatrix, Falcon, Green Bean, Houseman, Lux Fiat, Maeglin, manhattan, MannyL, MerrySquirrels, Nacho4Sara, Rosebud, SaxFace, slowhand53, soulsling, stuyguy, SuaSponte, Swimming Riddles (she’s so swell), SwimmingGuest, THespos, Tripler, Tymp (his first drink’s on Wonko), Ukelele Ike, vix, waterj2, Wonko the Sane, Zebra

Possibles: andygirl, friedo, Green Bean’s husband, Little Nemo, lurkernomore, OpalCat, PattyCake, PattyCake’s boyfriend, RobotArm, Sakura, Undead Dude

Requested but not responding: Eve, iampunha, TubaDiva

Missing out on the fun: Surgoshan

Why: To fight ignorance (and kill a few brain cells along the way).

Today’s news update:

Welcome to the inaugural edition of Official Countdown to the January 6, 2001 New York City dopefest. In just three short weeks possibly the largest group of Straight Dope Message Board members ever will assemble at Chumley’s, a literary former speakeasy in Greenwich Village.

At our latest count, we have 36 people signed up to attend, with 11 more listed as possible. Our crack team of linguistic analysts has determined that of the screen names signed up, we have every letter of the alphabet represented except for E (but if Eve would only show up), I, J, K, O (unless OpalCat arrives), P (pending PattyCake), Q, X (can we count Annie-Xmas), and Y.

As an added attraction, Billdo has agreed to lead a museum tour that afternoon. So far, MannyL and soulsling have signed up, but e-mails and posts signing up for this important cultural event are expected to come pouring in (hint, hint). Details will be provided when they become available.

For our out-of-town visitors, several Dopers have offered couch or floor space for those who want to crash, including Biggirl, Billdo, Cajun Man & DrMatrix, soulsling and THespos. Please e-mail them directly to make arrangements. As a special bonus, guests at soulsling’s may be able to negotiate a space on his bed with him and his allegedly-bisexual 18-year-old girlfriend. (The management of this report takes no responsibility for any pipe dreams that may be burst as a result. On the other hand, Falcon has promised elsewhere to take her camera and scan in photos). In addition, our team of travel editors is preparing a report on New York hotel prices and availability for those of you who think you are too damn good to crash on our floors.

For those of you who are unsure of what goes on at such an event, we’ve recently had a roundtable discussion about the usual activities at New York dopefests. The dopefest planning staff has been roundly praised for its efforts at securing an appropriate goat for the initiation ceremonies in Chumley’s sub-basement. (I’m afraid, Falcon, that no matter how many dopefests you have attended elsewhere, you still need to go through the New York initiation. On the other hand, you will be relieved to know that since his recent banning, the Jack Dean Tyler ritual has been eliminated.)

Also planned for this dopefest is a report by DAVEW0071 on his poker night with the Queen of England (and whether he got inducted into the other order of the garter).

Manhattan will be paddled for his failure to spell Bleecker Street and his recent spamming of every forum of the boards. His punishment may be eliminated if he tells us about a convenient parking lot, as suggested by Biggirl. He could also suggest an after-Chumley’s watering hole. Cajun Man, on the other hand, will be unable to avoid his birthday spanking.

Ukulele Ike will put on his deerstalker cap and present the case of Green Bean’s missing grape tomatoes.

SaxFace has said that she will stop by “at least to say hi.” We all wonder if her stopping by will again include her finding a younger gentlemen, taking him off to a Latvian party, and returning him to us in a condition in which he can barely walk?

A call has gone out for volunteers to bring a tin foil hat for vix, who appears to be seeing mysterious advertisements for the “All Knowing, All Merciful” on the Straight Dope homepage. Oh, and vix, if your dog starts commanding you to kill people, please let us know so we can make, um, appropriate arrangements.

In upcoming events, the betting pool will soon be starting on the cheap and sleazy excuse that Eve will use to get out of this dopefest. Her prior excuse, an opium and group-sex party in Philadelphia, will not be accepted this time.

Special thanks, props, kudos and hugs to Wonko the Sane for thinking up and setting up this get-together.

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Sakura ain’t coming. Her mom doesn’t think it’s proper for a 15-year-old girl, and looking at the guest list, hey. A pity. We’ll have to wait for another Dopefest for her to attend IRL. Perhaps a Straight Dope Debutante Ball.

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That was great, Billdo! :smiley:

:stuck_out_tongue:

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Before PattyCake reads this and kills me (Hi Patty ;)) I need to clarify something-- my wording was off in the other thread. PattyCake is happily married and does not have a boyfriend at the present time. The boyfriend in question is mine, unless there’s something going on there they need to tell me about.

Thanks for starting the thread, Billdo!

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I’ve only been here a few months, and even then, in and out, but you can count me in—unless this is strictly an old-timers’ gathering. I’m not exactly a New Yorker anyway, though I like to call Jersey City an “honorary borough” just to piss off the technical New Yorkers.

Four PATH stops from home wouldn’t be an unreasonable trek for me. Even if PATH fares are jacked up on January 1, I think I could afford the trip.

In case anyone feels it’s necessary, you can email me at nuclearfurniture@yahoo.com.

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Latvian party. Is that what you kids are calling it these days?

If no one minds, I’d like to add Alphagene to the “requested but not responding” list. Rumor has it that he’s somewhere on the East Coast these days, and it’s been too long since I’ve knocked heads with that tall drink o’ water.

Okay with everyone? Okay. Hey, Al! I’m requesting you!

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Well, I looked up the parking garages in the area and there seems to be a several nearby:

South, one on Morton and one on Leroy. Both are between Bedford and Bleecker and about 2-3 blocks from the unsuspecting Chumley’s. There are also a couple north on Greenwich. I don’t know the prices or if they are even really there, but here’s a map (hope this works out of frames):

MAP

I’m coming in from central Jersey so if anyone wants a ride in, let me know.

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You’re in need of a J, and I’ll be in the city on the 6th. We already have plans for the evening (wish I’d known about this sooner!), but maybe I can swing by and bring y’all one step closer to alphabetic perfection.

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I’m 99% sure I’ll be able to be there.

And then there is the other, slightly less important matter.

Ummmm…does this place card?

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I think I’m going to be there ('bout 80%) chance.

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Not today obviously.

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Billdo, absolutely wonderful :slight_smile:

…allegedly… huh? :rolleyes:, well, she won’t be around anyways, she’ll be in Michigan at the time.,

LATEST NEWS:
[SUP]I just received my new bed today, a Sealy Posturpedic Triple Plush, took me months to make the choice, so I get to break it in tonight and see how comfortable these things really are… (used to sleep on a futon)…[/sup]

…any details on the museum tour yet?

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I’m putting myself at around a 90% certainty. I have the days off so barring any unexpected circumstances I’ll be there.

I’d be interested in the museum run. I also want to shop at Forbidden Planet (is it still open?).

And someone start putting some pressure on Eve to come slumming with us. I want her autograph on my copies of her books.

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brachyrhynchos, thanks for the skinny on the parking situation. It makes those of us tootling in from the 'burbs feel much comfort and joy knowing we won’t have to drive 40 minutes to get there, then spend another hour driving in circles looking for a place to stash our wheels.

Well done.

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Well, I’m in for the museum tour, of course.

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OFFICIAL COUNTDOWN TO NYC DOPEFEST VI: BACCHANAL ON BEDFORD

Two Weeks, Six Days and counting

In today’s news update, Ukulele Ike has suggested that we add Alphagene to the list of “Requested but not responding” posters. Official Countdown has engaged the Gallup organization to conduct a poll to determine whether we should. Of 1076 probable attendees surveyed, we obtained the following results:

Should we request Alphagene’s attendance?
26% I’d prefer to wait until beta testing is complete.
21% I’ll say yes, because if I don’t, Lynn will send her cousin Vinnie after me.
19% No, I don’t want him at the dopefest. I want him alone, with chocolate syrup all over his body.
17% Well, if we have to have a Pit mod, I’d rather have that Corrado fellow.
17% Well, if we have to have a Pit mod, he’s better than that Corrado fellow.
(margin of error +/- 65%)

Bowing to pressure from public opinion (and Lynn’s cousin Vinnie), Alphagene’s attendance has officially been requested.

In our weather forecast, we will be having an 80% chance of The Tim, a 90% chance of Little Nemo, a 99% chance of friedo, and a 50% chance of Schroedinger’s cat. We will also be having a pretty good chance of Chance the Gardner.

In addition, friedo may well be providing us with some technicolor entertainment

We will now pause for a commercial announcement:

*Friends inviting married friends boyfriends to dopfests?
Watch today’s Ricki Lake Show to see what happens when Rosebud invites PattyCake’s boyfriend to the dopefest, leaving out her own boyfriend and PattyCake’s husband, who is home pregnant with twins. Watch while PattyCake’s husband confronts PattyCake and her boyfriend. And then see what happens when the husband reveals the twins he is carrying aren’t PattyCake’s but Rosebud’s. But Rosebud has a secret of her own to reveal . . . *

In other news about possible attendees, the mother of prizewinning poet Sakura has decided (possibly after consultation with Duck Duck Goose) that a New York City dopefest is no place for a 15-year old girl. Her cries of “But Mom, it’s a literary speakeasy” were unavailing.

Juniper200 foolishly made previous plans for the evening, but may attempt to correct her error by swinging by, giving us a much-needed ‘J’ poster.

After being challenged on his “allegedly bisexual” girlfriend, soulsling has suddenly sent her to “Michigan” for the weekend (or at least reminded himself to take the tape out of the VCR and stash it in the bottom of his t-shirt drawer before the girls come to stay over). Changing his tactics slightly, he’s come up with the “wanna try my new bed, it’s triple tufted.” We’ll see if he can he devise any even lamer lines next time.

Brachyrhynchos has kindly provided us with a link to a map of nearby parking, cutting off manhattan’s way of getting out of a paddling. He still might escape this punishment if he provides us with a good after-dinner dive bar. Meanwhile, Cajun Man may will be looking forward to his birthday spanking a bit too much.

Little Nemo and Green Bean have been added to the museum tour (and we may be able to send Nemo to Forbidden Planet). Details will be published when they become available.
[Edited by Eutychus55 on 12-18-2000 at 02:26 AM]

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OOPS! I’m over at Green Bean’s and I accidently posted that without logging her our and logging me in. She isn’t trying to take over the Official Countdown.

Billdo

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We also have Bill to thank for that improper wrap. Now I have to scroll across the page. Boy is that bothersome.

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Yeah, what Biggirl said!

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I’ve gotten a quote of $125 for Travel Inn, anything else around? I don’t want to pay more than $200 for a hotel, since I’m already gonna be paying for round trip train tickets for three (yes, we are bringing the kid. I know, I know. No other way to make it.)

In other news, we could go to La Nouvelle Justine for drinks… it’s a BSDM themed restaurant. http://www.lanouvellejustine.com/

They have spankings and stuff on the menu, ( http://www.lanouvellejustine.com/3.html ) and if you want, they’ll lock you in a little box to eat. They have little tvs around that play bdsm porno movies … the food is a bit expensive but very yummy (http://www.lanouvellejustine.com/7.html )… the chocolate mouse shoe is to die for… at $40!!!

Anyway, it makes for a guaranteed fun evening, if just for the experience.