Iron Chef comes to SDMB (cooks come!)

::bites into yellow pepper::

If my memory serves, there are a great many chefs here on the SDMB. As you know, I am a billionaire who’s motivation to build Kitchen Stadium was to encourage a forum where I might discover artistic new culinary derlights.

Here is what I propose:

I have already begun planning in secret to select my Iron Chefs, leaders of the SDMB culinary world. They must of course volunteer their services.

We will need 3 or 4 of these master chefs to come forward and propose themselves, and their style.

We will need challengers to volunteer themselves.

We will need a panel to judge in a condescending fashion.

Once we have all these (I’ll select from the volunteers, first come first serve,) I will summon the Iron Chefs! The challenger will have to choose which Iron Chef he will face.
I will then unveil the secret ingredient.

You will have one day to post a meal based on 4 or 5 dishes using that ingredient. The panel will judge each 1-10 based on appearance, texture and taste. The winner shall be declared.

Who will volunteer?

…to watch the competition here in Kitchen Message Board Stadium.

I’m new here and don’t wanna step on anyone’s toes.

I just wanted the first to call you Scylla-san

::small bow::

Can I be the spunky yet unknown American who is preparing to amaze the world with his mastery of Chinese cuisine?


No need to be shy my friend. Come! Sit! Will you be on the panel to judge the first contest?

No, you cannot be unknown. You are a master chef of great skill whose culinary delights are talked about the world over. You may be the challenger for the first contest, or Iron Chef Chinese. You choose.

::Gong of Fate sounds::

Scylla, tell me there’s a way to incorporate the commentary into this. I would sell my soul to play Otah.(“Fukui-san?”)

Otherwise, I’d be glad to act as a judge on the panel. I can say things like, “The slight bitterness of the fins really balances the foie gras’ aroma… But… I wish you would have put more of your personality into the dish.”

I saw quite a few episodes from the marathon yesterday. If memory serves me right, it was heavenly. (Squid ink ice cream! Who knew?)

May I be a panalist? I can giggle behind my hand, eat behind my hand AND make polite, inane chatter.

…hee hee…

I’ll volunteer as the self taught American comfort food maven who uses California cooking techniques.

::dons French knotted white chef’s jacket and toque::

I want to be a member of the panel too! Can I be the member of the Lower Parliment?

So are you volunteering yourself as the requisite Japanese bimbo b-grade actress? :smiley:

Most gracious and honorable Scylla-san, I humbly accept your invitation. Arigato!

Whose Cuisine Reigns Supreme?

Iron chef Chinese, MikeG Kinichiwa!!!
::Ominous Gong::

Raised in a small village in the North of Chicago, MikeG Kinichiwa!!!
::Ominous gong::
learned early on to cook in the Chinese style out of sheer survival. Endless meals of thin gristly porkchops cooked IN Rice-A-roni and Crock pot Chicken ala King with extra pimentos propelled him into the sanctuary of his neighbor Yuki-san. A Japanese native by birth, she cooked in a Chinese restaurant and revealed the secrets of this mysterious cuisine.

Now in his refound bachelorhood, MikeG Kinichiwa!!!
::Ominous Gong::
has the freedom to fully express his unorthodox cooking style; be it brocolli szechwan style with thousand year old eggs (ok three weeks), or inventive new uses for sliced turkey and miso. Be prepared to be astounded by the fantastic avant garde food styling of this master of the mundane!!

Here is your Stadium!!

MikeG Kinichiwa!!!
:: Ominous Gong::
prepares for the battle by returning to his dinner of oyster beef, black mushrooms with beancurd, and hot&sour soup.
Really!! what a coinkydink?

…yes, hee hee hee…

I wanna be the aging dowager food critic, whose name escapes me at the moment, despite having watched at least five IC shows.


MikeG Kinichiwa!!!
:: Ominous Gong::
has assembled his vast staff of sous chefs to assist him. at his very moment they are researching possible menus and…

Put down that social studies paper and turn off that damn cd player!!!
And no Dildos!!!
jeez …to get good help these days is a pain


I don’t have time to participate, but I sure want to watch.

Zenster-san, MikeG Kinichiwa-san, fellow panelists …
::for crying out loud, stop giggling, Mamapotomus!::

…already we tremble with delight

I’m tellin’ you- #straightdope chat is not the place to find hardworking people:)

Oh… Never mind.

Iron Chef Chinese - MikeG
Iron Chef American - Zenster
Iron Chef #3 - ???
Panelists #1 - Tazma
Panelist #2 - Goose
Panelist #3 - Mampotomas
Panelist #4 - msrobyn

The irrepressible Otah - SNenc

We still need one more Iron Chef, and a challenger!

Who will volunteer