Well to give an intelligent answer, I am listening to the Nyro version right now - hadn’t heard it for years. (thanks youtube) Its OK - my hands have not reflexively balled up into fists.
Without question it is Blood Sweat and Tears version that drives me nuts. And it isn’t just DCT, the “ompah” horn part really goes through me like a dagger too.
This thread ain’t no good without at least one mention of Horse With No Name…
David Hasselhoff - Hooked on a Feeling 
Come to think of it, aren’t the horns playing “Kool-Aid, Kool-Aid, tastes great, wish I had some, can’t wait”?
Or two.
Yes – I was right. I swear that I’ve never heard this before. I don’t know how I missed it – I’ve neard “Stairway to Heaben” so often that I’m as sick of it as everyone else. But this is a new experience to me.
Pepper Mill walked in as I was listening to iy and started singing along and swaying her arms.
“I never heard this before,” I said.
“You NEVER HEARD “Freebird” before???!! Where WERE you?”
MilliCal walked in.
“What’s “Freebird”?” “Who’s Lynyrd Skynner?” “I never heard this before, either.”
“You’re ten,” I said., “You’ve got an excuse.”
The song’s okay.
Not long enough, though.
It’d be great at weddings.
Anything by Lil Markie would be perfect for your CD! shudder
I will pwaise you!! fow I am feawfuwwy made…
Ahh, don’t listen to that! He’s just trying to get us to like him! 
Iiiiiiii’m SAAAIIIIIIILINNNNNGGGG AWAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY…
One that’s been in heavy rotation at the radio station that’s always playing in my office, She’s So Lovely, by Scouting for Girls. Just the most inane, boring, repetitive lyrics, “sung” by someone who sounds like a drunk American frat boy trying to imitate an English accent.
I-Think-That. You-Are-Love-Ly.
I-Think-That. You-Are-Love-Ly.
I-Think-That. You-Are-Love-Ly.
I-Think-That. You-Are-Love-Ly.
I-Think-That. You-Are-Love-Ly.
I-Think-That. You-Are-Love-Ly.
I-Think-That. You-Are-Love-Ly…
and at this point, I challenge anyone to not have an overwhelming urge to smack the singer upside the head with something heavy, as he’s obviously gotten stuck.
I’m actually a fan of many of these songs–Crystal Blue Persuasion, Do Ya Think I’m Sexy, Sex and Candy, etc. Farizua , you must be kidding when you call “He Stopped Loving Her Today” a terrible song. (I assume you mean the song George Jones made popular.) That’s one of the greatest songs of all time. The thing about glurgey songs is if done low key like “He Stopped” or Red Sovine’s “Teddy Bear” they can actually be good. The problem is they’re usually closer to “Christmas Shoes” and “Honey”–massively overproduced to cover up the fact the singer’s utterly univolved.
if you want tunes that will just make people change the song you should really check out some Melt Banana, indescribable, I have heard them called Japanese punk, noise core, grind (what ever the hell that means) and several other labels. the truth is they are fucking unbelievably annoying to 99.999% of the human race.
personally I love em.
Bobby’s Girl by…some really old girl band. Came across this on an oldies station, and was frozen so badly, I couldn’t turn the dial quick enough; a reaction akin to receiving a near-lethal electric shock and being unable to let go of the wire 'cause your muscles contract uncontrollably…
My sister loved that when it was out. Of course, she had a crush on someone named Bobby.
Which reminds me of the Cherrycokes, a band I saw open for Flogging Molly. They’re sort of like a hardcore version of Flogging Molly but with Japanese lyrics. I thought they were okay but only if you like your hardcore with accordions and Japanese drums 
“Having My Baby” was always so embarrassing when I was a tween, especially if it came on the radio when I was in the car with my dad. I’ve got news for you: it’s still embarrassing.
I recently put that “Rocky I’ve Never Been In Love Before” song on my iPod so I can surprise my sister next time she’s in my car. Also way too embarrassing.
I can’t bring myself to listen to those songs when I am all by myself and middle aged. That’s really bad, no?
But its existence is worth it just for the cover version by The Revolting Cocks!
I would like to add Son of Jamaica & Seven Tears by The Goombay Dance Band - a sort of Boney M lite. You Americans were seemingly spared the worst excesses of 80s Euro-pop. Like Black Lace and Agadoo.
BLASPHEMER!
Now, if you want to talk crappy songs by Dr. Hook, their “wimp” period is a much worse time in their career. “Sharin’ the Night Together”, “When You’re in Love With a Beautiful Woman”–now that’s dreck!
Hate to burst your bubble, but Wikipedia disagrees:
It’s also one of the first singles I ever owned and one heckuva catchy little tune. Chacun a son goute , as they say.
More not previously mentioned:
Torn Between Two Lovers by Mary McGregor
Summer Breeze by Seals and Crofts --indeed, anything by Seals and Crofts!
You’re Beautiful by James Blunt --some bad songs make me laugh, some make me sick–this one literally makes me angry !
Higher and Higher by Rita Coolidge --Christ, why not just take a switchblade to the Mona Lisa?
I’m Not Lisa by Jesse Colter
You Light Up My Life by Debby Boone
Put Your Hand in the Hand by Ocean
The Final Countdown by Europe
And ANYTHING by Bon Jovi!
I guess you don’t remember Sonny & Cher’s “You better sit down kids”. This is the one where they explain their divorce to their kids in a freakin song. Talk about thanks for sharing.
I’ll also nominate Chuck Berry’s “My ding-a-ling”. Innuendo nothwithstanding, it’s totally insipid.
