“Uh, OK, so what would you see in the desert? Uh…plants. Plants, I guess. And…birds? Sure, there are birds in the desert, right? And rocks. But there’s gotta be more things than just plants and birds and rocks, though. All right, plants and birds and rocks and things. Gold, baby, gold!”
“Bad Bad Leroy Brown” - Jim Croche
“Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” (otherwise known as the “Down doobie doo down down” song) - Shaun Cassidy
“Venus” - Unfathomably, this piece of crap was a hit single TWICE! The first time by some one-hit wonder band in the early '70s, the second time by Bananarama in the early '90s. Both versions SUCK SUCK SUCK!
The Bananarama version can be forgiven if only because it set up the funniest Beavis and Butthead line ever.
Nothing wrong with Freebird except the end needs to be 10x shorter.
Any and all Bon Jovi songs.
Ah yes, Blunt the Cunt. I hear Amy Winehouse will have a new version of “Rehab” on her next album, with new lyrics, dedicated to Blunt as well as Macy Gray.
We told them “Go to helium rehab”
They squeaked no, no, no
I wasn’t exactly sitting on a bubble. I know it charted, else I wouldn’t have had the misfortune of hearing it so many times. And I’m not being rigorous WRT what ended up on the what Billboard chart, because I don’t care, really. All was was saying is that this is not a song that any sane person would put in the rock basket, but is pop-song-for-your-parents more along the lines of the (almost equally) execrable “Volare.”
Well, dammit, somebody just had to mention “Muskrat Love,” and for some reason that triggers off memories of “Afternoon Delight” which then makes me all stabby. It’s just the most puerile, amateurish sounding excuse for a song with “harmony” that’s orders of magnitudes worse than you’ll hear during Extra Drunken/Helium Huffing Karaoke Night at the local biker/librarian bar. It is, hands down, the LEAST erotic possible song which is nonetheless all about tearing off a piece. Urp… I think they only included “Vocal” in the name of the band so we’d all be certain what was making the horrible wounded badger noises.
Easy slick, some of us aspire to be biker librarians one day.
Smile when you say that, paisano ! 
Personally, I’d like to put in a vote for any Nickelback song. Especially for that Figured You Out song.
…and I love your lack of self-respect
While you’re passed out on the deck
I love my hands around your neck.
YUCK YUCK YUCK. In addition to being really creepy I find Nickelback to be so contrived. The lead singer is all “HELL YEAH, I’m a hard bastard! Listen to me sing about blow jobs!!!”.
All their songs sound exactly the same, just with slightly different lyrics and a few altered chords. Which makes any Nickelback song irredemably bad IMHO.
The Little Girl, by John Michael Montgomery. That’s the one about the girl whose parents never took her to church, instead taking drugs, watching TV and then doing a murder-suicide thing.
“Little Girls” by Oingo Boingo, I just saw the video for it. And now I’m wierded out, and its stuck in my head.
Did I miss someone mentioning We Built this City on Rock and Roll? Those lyrics were the worst ever.
Obligatory Nickelback overlap link: thewebshite.net
OK, I’ve agreed with the hate for every song in this thread except this one. I absolutely love it and rock out to it – but I think Arrested Development (the show, not the rap group) had a lot to do with fostering my love for “The Final Countdown.”
The two Nickelback songs actually sound kind of good overlapped like that, in my opinion. Kind of like Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young, but more modern and cutting edge.
I have never met anyone who was a Nickelback fan. Who actually listens to them?
That Nickelback overlap was hilarious.
I also like the song “The Final Countdown” but I’ve never watched Arrested Development, so I don’t understand that connection.
Kim Carnes. And I love that song. No countin’ for taste, I guess.
I’ll nominate One Tin Soldier and Seasons in the Sun. So bad you gotta listen!
That is the funniest post I have ever read.
Doesn’t someone in these threads eventually bring up Elvis Presley’s “In The Ghetto” ?
And Nickelback is really only good if you’re good and angry to begin with. Excellent break up music but no other redeeming qualities really.