Some people seem to believe that ANY intentional physical contact - no matter how minor - is inappropriate. Others seem to feel SOME DEGREE of physical contact is within the realm of acceptable human interaction.
I was hoping to keep this simple, just to get a rough idea of how THIS group comes down on this issue. So I’ll as a simple yes/no question, asking whether ANY degree of intentional physical contact is ever appropriate in a standard workplace.
At issue can be ANY physical contact: an all out hug, an ass grab, or a tap on someone’s shoulder or wrist to get their attention, or anything else along that continuum. If you think ANY (not necessarily all) such contact is normal and acceptable, vote YES.
Just to be clear, if you say NO, then you are saying it is NEVER appropriate to tap a co-worker on the shoulder/arm to get their attention, express sympathy, etc. If you say YES, you are not necessarily approving of orgies in the breakroom.
-I am NOT talking about inadvertent contact, such as accidently bumping into someone.
-Nor am I looking for cute responses like, “What about porn actors?”
-I’m not trying to argue about fine points. If you want to do that, the GD thread might be a better place.
I voted “Yes” because if a falling I-beam was about to hit a coworker, I would push them out of the way. Or if a coworker was about to walk into an empty elevator shaft, I would probably grab them to stop them.
I’m pretty touch-averse in the workplace. I doubt I’d tap someone on the shoulder to get their attention, unless it was a very noisy place and that was the only way to get their attention. But I voted Yes because I’m fine with handshakes and the occasional high-five. Maybe I’m OK with those because both parties have to agree to participate. It might be a little awkward, but if someone offers a handshake you can always ignore it. If someone walks up behind you and puts a hand on your back, you didn’t have a chance to consent.
Not that I think a hand on the back is always bad, just that I don’t really like it. And I don’t want to run the risk of being misunderstood or making someone feel uncomfortable when I can just use my words (yes I have small children).
If someone in the workplace touched me on the back or arm as a sign of encouragement or support or something, it wouldn’t bother me. A hug would be awkward for me though. I’m not really a hugger, except with my family.
ETA: I’m a university professor. At graduation this weekend I shook hands with a bunch of my students. I didn’t hug any of them, but I guess if one had wanted a hug I would have. It’s a happy occasion!
All or nothing is the best you could come up with? If someone votes yes, does this mean they think both tapping someone on their clothing-covered shoulder and grabbing their ass are equally all right?
Way to nuance. :rolleyes:
Since you referenced “the other” thread on this topic, I’m simply going to copy/paste my last comment because I think it addresses this poll, which is based on the opinion of the “toucher” as opposed to the “touchee”.
Everyone has the right, as long as it is reasonable. Phrasing it as an absolute is what misses the point IMO.
Some things that people want to define their personal space and their code of personal interaction are not reasonable. You can’t, for instance, say “my cubicle is my personal space, so nobody is allowed to come into it” or “it makes me uncomfortable when you make eye contact with me, so nobody can look at me for more than five seconds without looking away” or “my culture doesn’t allow me to talk to women unless they have their faces covered”. Those aren’t reasonable. “Nobody can slap my ass without permission” is reasonable.
And there is a difference, which most people can recognize. Touching a person, male or female or other, on the wrist, is different from sexual harassment and from assault. Most people can recognize that too.
Of course not. But some folk in the other thread seem to equate a touch on the shoulder w/ an ass grab. ISTM, that all of the folk saying SOME contact is OK were also saying ass grabs were NOT.
The OP does a poor job of defining/understanding what “no touch in the workplace” means.
The question ought to be: “Is any amount of physical contact without advance permission appropriate in the workspace, and is it ever appropriate for a coworker to even ask in the first place?”, to which I say “no” (hence my vote in the poll) and “rarely”, respectively.
But that’s the thing: if my job involved, say, one or more male Orthodox jews, I wouldn’t try to even shake hands much less do le baiser. Even something which may at first sight seem universal and innocuous, such as salutations, changes by context.
Aside from shaking hands when I meet someone new I can’t think of a time I’ve touched or been touched by a coworker in a professional setting. I went with its not appropriate. Sure if there is an active shooter in the building and to tap my shoulder to silently point me to safety I’m down with that but in a normal day in the office it just doesn’t make sense. Maybe its because I’m an engineer and the vast majority of my coworkers are dudes we just don’t touch it always seems to be the few women who get tapped on the shoulder or steered by their waist.
And the poll, as phrased, is absurd. There is no way I can vote flat out yes or no on that statement as you gave it. You seem to be the one who’s trying to lump all touch into the same category.