I agree. If you KNOW, based on previous experience, that it will make them uncomfortable, then yes that’s baiting.
However, none of us have the right to NOT be offended or to NOT be uncomfortable. Personally, I think a little ‘discomfort’ to our feelings or beliefs can be a good thing. It forces us to take a look at ourselves and perhaps confront our bigotry and intolerance and change.
Mae West: “Those who are easily offended should be offended more often.”
Might have been a bad example and approach, but the concept of subtly putting an idea out there for someone to comment upon is not such a weird idea. People do it all the time:
“Honey, this guy at work was telling me his neighbors have three-somes almost every weekend, imagine that…”
“Dad, there is a guy at school who got a car for his 16th birthday…”
“I think the dude downstairs from me is smoking dope…”
From answers and follow up questions, someone might know better where you stand on that particular subject without having to get personal.
Now granted, in the example from the OP, it would have been easier to just ask point blank, but remember - culturally it might have been something uneasy, and to be honest, as a Gay man, I always like to get a “read” on someone before I start discussing anything personal. If I find out someone is a fundie and homophobic, I probably don’t want to even deal with anything personal with them.