Whence I was growing up in Memphis, in the 70s and 80s, being called skinny was not a good thing. Skinny didn’t mean just slender; it meant unhealthily or unattractively thin. It meant you looked like you were starving, and if the person calling you that wasn’t trying to insult you, then she was about to tell you to sit down so she could make you some ham and collard greens and corn bread and probably a sweet potato pie, because she was WORRIED about you.
But nowadays skinny seems to have changed in meaning. Nowadays it’s praise. Oh, people still have the concept of emaciation; they just don’t use skinny to describe someone in that state. I’ve shed a lit if mass in the past few years and have been surprised by people calling me so skinny as a praise.
But maybe I’m wrong. Dopers, is calling someone skinny a compliment or a criticism?
I would agree with this. If you have nothing else to go on, assume it’s complimentary towards women and derogatory towards men. But, 1) a more accurate rule of thumb would be that it’s derogatory towards people trying to gain weight and complimentary towards people trying to lose weight.
And 2) finally, the safest bet is not to mention someone’s weight or body type at all unless you know them well enough that you don’t need to ask the internet whether it’s a compliment or not. If you know your friend is trying to lose weight, by all means let them know, “you’re looking skinnier lately, keep up the good work!” But strangers? Acquaintances? And if you’re trying to flirt or hit on someone, forget about it.
At one time it was a way to get someone to take a second helping.
Now it depends on what kind of person says it.
If it’s from a supportive type of person it is a compliment.
If it is from a passive aggressive type it is a backhanded compliment, which equates to a criticism.
Depends on the culture, too. Not every woman wants to be “skinny”. Toned, yes. But not “skinny”. Skinny means you ain’t got no tits or ass.
I was in grad school with Outkast’s video “I Like the Way You Move” came out. The video features a very toned but buxom, big-assed lady dancing with Big Boi. Once my Afro-Puerto Rican labmate and I were watching the video and she exclaimed, “I want a body like THAT!!” But I really can’t imagine any of the white girls in the lab sharing such a sentiment.
For a word that doesn’t sound so negative, I’d go with “slender”. You can be curvy and feminine and still be slender. “Skinny” connotes Olive Oyl. Some women are into that look, but not all.
I’m with the cultural reference also. I’ve known a few “Flacos” (skinny in Spanish) and it isn’t a put down, just a nickname. It’s often affectionate. I used to know a couple, British ex-pats, who told stories about their youth in the Midlands. They often mentioned a friend there who was known as “Skinny”. He evidently was VERY skinny by nature and otherwise healthy. Never looked on the term as derogatory, but in these sensitive times…
I have a couple female friends who are underweight and they HAAAAAATE being called skinny. Sometimes it’s even worse for them to be called skinny than it is for me to be called fat - seems like there is more opportunity for me to change my situation than it is for them to change theirs.
People need to just never bring up another person’s body shape. It’s never* appropriate.
*in cases where it is appropriate, all parties will know.
Skinny specifically implies being underweight, so it is always a pejorative. Hardly the worst, but one none the less. It’s rarely directly at women, normally young men & boys. And it’s in the criticism vein of weakling, wimp, wussy etc. A complementary term for a non-fat woman would be slim, lean, fit, in-shape etc. but not skinny. In fact, calling a girl skinny would most likely be interpreted as a negative comment implying not shapely (i.e. flat-chested, straight hips, no ass etc.)
In To Have And Have Not, Humphrey Bogart takes to calling Lauren Bacall “Slim”. She takes offense, saying, “I’d rather you wouldn’t call me Slim. I’m a little too skinny to take it kindly.”
Skinny is a mild pejorative, in that it implies an unattractive boniness or lack of shape or muscle. Slender, slim, and lithe are synonymous without the negative implication. Skinny, er… slender women are often described as willowy.
I grew up in the 50’s and '60’s, and, before Twiggy, skinny was definitely an insult. Nowadays, diet books and diet foods use the term as something to aspire to. But in real life, I don’t think anyone wants to be skinny, except maybe people with eating disorders, or people to draw illustratiosn for fashion magazines. I don’t use the word, myself.
I’m genuinely skinny & have been almost my entire life. And I’ve gotten any number of vastly oversized meals from matronly ladies working the line at cafeteria-style lunch counters around the country. It happens everywhere, but especially in the South. They’re so sweeeet!!! “No Ma’am, an extra pork chop won’t go to waste! I promise.” And they never charge me for the extras.
It helps that I really can eat insane amounts of food without gaining weight. Just gotta watch the starch nowadays; didn’t used to, but aging is hell.
1970s/early 1980s, calling me skinny was how the African-American side of the family implied my white mother, in their humble opinions, wasn’t feeding me properly.
AFAIK I’m purebred white, but IME the lunch counter ladies most interested in feeding me extra were black, bless their generous hearts. Seems to be pretty deeply ingrained culturally.
It’s pejorative. My MIL and her friends used to berate me for being so “skeeny” when I was young, definitely underweight and ashamed of my stick-like arms. It made me feel insulted and even more self-conscious than I already was.
Seconds to the person upthread who said it is best to NEVER comment on someone’s body unless you are his/her doctor.
