It may be disgusting and potentially unsanitary, but it’s a wonderful illustration of FIFO stack-processing.
plnnr said:
oh, man, that’s funny. Thanks!
And yes, this is all some sick shit here. Sick, sick, sick. I have to admit that there was one time I caught myself wandering into the bathroom while talking on a mobile phone–I REALLY had to go–but stopped before actually de-pantsing. How gross for the caller to hear a flush–or worse–and get a visual? It might have been my mother, even. ICK.
I don’t have a really strong opinion, and I just opened the thread to see how long it took Homer to respond. 
Not very often? You only keep it open for bill collectors or something?
A fraternity brother of mine was such a fan of the bathroom that he routinely kept a television set, a bong, and a telephone right next to the toilet. He swears to me that he watched the 1982 NCAA Mens Basketball Champtionship game while sitting on the john. And to think of all the money I wasted on a couch.
I do believe that is the way they found the King. (Elvis)
If you’re successful, you’ll get faster and faster. Pretty soon it’ll be a blur of hand to mouth and sphincter opening and closing.
ugh…
I’ll bring coffee, cigarettes and a book into the turlit, but I draw the line at honey buns or (plagerize Uke’ Ike’s post) lamb shanks braised in sherry. A plate of Fudge browines would just confuse me.
Catherine the Great supposedly entertained ministers during the morning toilet. I wonder if she did all her business in front of them.
aha…you are very cool and you have a sense of humor the size of the Grand Canyon, but yes, it’s gross.
Apparently Martin Luther, the 16th-century theologian, did all his writing sitting on the toilet. He suffered from constipation and had a special desk constructed so he could use his, ahh, time more constructively.
I didn’t know that little snippet about Martin Luther. So the well-known quotation should really be;
“Hier scheisse ich. Ich kann nicht anders. Gott helfe mir.”
Although I should have thought that a diet of worms would help a lot with the constipation problem!
That probably accounts for why he nailed his feces the the door of the cathedral.
What’s that? Theses?
oh. nevermind
Fear itself…that was pretty damned funny! Well in a lutheran sort of way 
It astonishes me that this question even needed to be asked.
Eating on the crapper IS disgusting. As for the whole male- toilet thing…I’m not only the president, I’m also a client. Food may shoot through my colon and right out like a rocket, but I’ll spend a good 45 minutes in there with either the book I’m currently reading, or a magazine. It’s comfortable, gives you privacy, and allows you to keep your pants off of your body, which is paramount to most males.
Sitting on the john is NOT just for men anymore!! While eating in the bathroom is not something I would enjoy, reading until my feet fall asleep is! All you men who think the bathroom is your domain only, think again. Any women bathroom readers out there?
i don’t even like having food in my mouth when i enter the bathroom. sometimes i’ll take the last bite of my breakfast and then go into the bathroom while i’m still chewing and then realize i still have food in my mouth and wait outside the bathroom door until i swallow it. it’s not that it’s that disgusting; i just don’t think i’m getting the proper enjoyment out of my food if i’m chewing it in the bathroom.
No, there’s no eating in the reading room, oops I mean bathroom. Seriously, even if you know how the digestive sytem works the image of it going straight through is just disgusting. When I’m eating I prefer to enjoy the food how it is, not experience how it’s going to be. Reading material is almost a necessity, though I can’t read anything serious. As far as Martin Luther goes… I’d feel wrong just reading a Bible on the throne.
very good point, Orca.
A cup of coffee, a Player’s Light Cigarette, and a Tolkien book is what I need to go turliting. There’s nothing like reading about Gandalf and Frodo whilst pinching a big turd.
It’s very serene in the bathroom. I have 3 kids, so I value my solitude…actually the bathroom is my Fortress of Soliturd!!!
–Hamlet, Act 5, Scene i
Or, “Shakespeare and Shitting”…
:eek:
One wonders what frame of mind you were in, then, when you read these passages:
“the air, look you, this brave o’erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapours.”
–Hamlet, Act 2, Scene ii
“O, my offence is rank
it smells to heaven”
–Hamlet, Act 3, scene iii
(Recalling the OP)
HAMLET A man may fish with the worm that hath eat of a
king, and cat of the fish that hath fed of that worm.
KING CLAUDIUS What dost you mean by this?
HAMLET Nothing but to show you how a king may go a
progress through the guts of a beggar.
–Hamlet, Act 4, scene iii
“Why may not imagination trace the noble dust of Alexander,
till he find it stopping a bung-hole?”
–Hamlet, Act 5, scene i
“That no compunctious visitings of nature
Shake my fell purpose”
–Macbeth, Act 1, scene iv
“This castle hath a pleasant seat; the air
Nimbly and sweetly recommends itself
Unto our gentle senses.”
–Macbeth, Act 1, scene vi
“that the heaven’s breath
Smells wooingly here: no jutty, frieze,
Buttress, nor coign of vantage, but this bird
Hath made his pendent bed and procreant cradle:
Where they most breed and haunt, I have observed,
The air is delicate.”
–Macbeth, Act 1, scene vi
“Now, good digestion wait on appetite,
And health on both!”
–Macbeth, Act 3, scene iv
“the times have been,
That, when the brains were out, the man would die,
And there an end; but now they rise again,
With twenty mortal murders on their crowns,
And push us from our stools”
–Macbeth, Act 3, scene iv (emphasis mine) (sorry)
“I’ll charm the air to give a sound,
While you perform your antic round”
–Macbeth, Act 4, scene i
“All the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little
hand.”
–Macbeth, Act 5, scene ii
“My bosom’s lord sits lightly in his throne”
–Romeo and Juliet, Act 4, scene ii