It’s natural to find them attractive. It’s a little squicky, but understandable, to want to have sex with them.
But wanting to ***date ***them is seriously fucking creepy.
I’m with DianaG and Cat Fight.
I knew fourteen and fifteen year olds (when I was that age) who had relationships with men well into their twenties (or more). These girls and boys always looked mature, and they’d often had shitty childhoods that made them act mature-- a sort of coping mechanism as they semi brought themselves up. But you didn’t have to scratch the surface much to see they *weren’t *, in any substantial way, grown-up.
Why do men want to be in relationships with dependent, relatively ignorant and impressionable kids?
It’s fucking creepy.
Polerius, who are you pissed off with? Society? Or yourself for not adjusting and accepting rules that exist for a reason?
I say go for it - you’ll never have a proper relationship for the reasons given earlier but I see no moral issues with wanting to sleep with them, nor them wanting to sleep with you. More specifically the moral issues only come about if one accepts one of these two premises:
-
Sex should be within a healthy relationship
-
Sex is bad and damaging
Both of which are a bit silly, but typically American, which is probably why you’re all so obsessive about paedophiles - us Brits are second - then at the other end of the scale you have the Italian Justice Minister saying yesterday sleeping with 14 year olds is a great idea and every man should be doing it 
I love college freshmen. I get older, they stay the same age…
Yes, it’s really all that weird.
Though apparently only if you’re an American. If only the rest of the world would just abide by our values for their own good.
I like looking at them but I aint gonna go for it!!
Personally, I think it’s the Magical Sky Pixie that makes us feel uncortable with these feelings.
How old is she?
Sex is fun and casual sex can be great. That’s not the problem. The problem is an unequal power dynamic. It’s squicky for the same reason we get uncomfortable when someone is banging their boss, or with those people who go to third world countries to have sex with poor people. Sex in these situations too often involves some degree of coercion or deception.
It’s squicky for us in our society, because it is absolutely axiomatic for us that sexual relationships should be between equals. This has definitely not been the case in other eras - in fact, it’s pretty unusual historically. Previously, unequal power relationships would have been not only condoned but actually celebrated - a girl would be expected to marry a man somewhat older than herself - not middle-age versus teenage, necessarily, but certainly 25 versus 15. The man’s presumably greater experience and sense would be one justification for the social structure where the husband was seen as the wife’s superior, and was supposed to be in charge of decision making for the family.
We see all that as slightly “off”. They, on the other hand, would be entirely horrified by our habit of allowing both men and women to have multiple sexual partners outside of marriage.
It’s all in the culture.
I’m with the idea that it’s not inherently creepy.
Also, I would say people are a little too sensitive about this issue. I’m 23, but if I were to date an 18 year old I know my friends and family would make a big fuss about it.
To answer perhaps why older men like younger women is easy. Obviously they are pretty good looking at a younger age, but also their innocence is attractive. I mean who doesn’t want to be somebody’s first.
Who’s to say that an older man is manipulating a younger girl. Maybe because of his age and experience he is more equipped to treat her right.
For all my joking above, I sure as hell don’t want to be somebody’s first. I hate virgins, with the fumbling, and the bleeding, and the “am I supposed to bite the head?”, and the sudden change of heart, and… oyyyy.
From The Music Man, Meredith Wilson. Seems appropriate!
(Spoken)
No wide-eyed, eager, wholesome, innocent
Sunday-school teacher for me
That kinda girl spins webs no spider ever… listen boy…
A girl who trades on all that purity
Merely wants to trade my independence for her security
(Sung)
The only affirmative she will file
Refers to marching down the aisle
No golden, glorious, gleaming pristine goddess, no sir!
For no Diana do I play faun, I can tell you that right now
I snarl, I hiss, how can ignorance be compared to bliss?
I spark, I fizz, for the lady who knows what time it is
I cheer, I rave, for the virtue I’m too late to save
The sadder but wiser girl for me
No bright-eyed, blushing, breathless baby-doll baby, no sir!
That kinda child ties knots no sailor ever knew
I prefer to take a chance on a more adult romance
No dewy young miss who keeps resisting
All the time she keeps insisting
No wide-eyed, wholesome, innocent female, no sir!
Why, she’s the fisherman, I’m the fish, you see? Plop!
I flinch, I shy when the lass with the delicate air goes by
I smile, I grin when the gal with a touch of sin walks in
I hope, I pray for Hester to win just one more ‘A’
The sadder but wiser girl’s the girl for me
The sadder but wiser girl for me
I’m in the same camp as I believe the majority here are: No it’s not weird at all. It’s inappropriate in many cases, but I think there are very few men out there that don’t go “Wow, what a hottie. I’d do her” if a hot little, young number walks by. Again, it’s biology. Y’all are supposed to have that reaction. Those little hotties are the ones that can bear you the most children and pass along your genes.
Acting upon such urges in many cases, as has already been cited, is unacceptable.
Nature? (for keeping the desire-o-meter set to an age that is societally & practically unworkable [and I mean 18-22 yr olds, and not 13 yr olds])
Who says I’m not accepting the rules?
Well, yeah. Along with abolishing slavery, dismantling theocratic government and ending child labor, our culture has decided that sexual relationships should involve a reasonably fair power relation. And we have defined a period as “childhood” and decided that people should be free to enjoy that. We’ve decided that sex is a complicated and powerful thing that rearranges our priorities and have decided that it’s best to deemphasize that until our personalities are fully formed and the foundations for our future (for example, college admissions) are laid. And if sex is a part of this time period, we’ve decided it is better as a journey of mutual discovery and wonder among two people who are approximately at the same point in their development.
Unlike most of you, I have lived in a society where marriage between young teens and older men is the expected norm. These marriages are not love. It is slavery, pure and simple. The girls are all but bought and sold by the parents, just like they were in our society not long ago. The girls cry at their weddings while everyone is giving toasts. They know their life as an individual- with hopes for a self-determined future- is over. It sucks. This is a good model to get far far away from.
The ones who just have sex and don’t get married are not much better off. They rearrange their lives because they are “in love” and end up with STDs and unclaimed kids. Their partners generally don’t give a damn. People like innocence because they get off on the idea of taking advantage of innocence. The foundation of that fantasy is violation. And that’s cool- I have the same fantasies. But the very nature of the fantasy outlines that the people who actually pursue it are predators. Nobody wants to screw a virgin because they like white lace and teddy bears. They want to see that innocence broken. And they want the power of being the one who did that. And people who get off on power generally will use power (coercion and deception) to get what they want.
Anyway, I’m all for sex. I love sex. I even love dirty sex where I dress up as a schoolgirl and pretend like I’m in trouble with teacher. I’m not some sex hating prude. But I know plenty of teachers who actually do bang their students, and that is a totally different story.
I was a smart and self-assured teenager that probably could have handled a relationship with an unequal power balance- and indeed, I had one. But you know what? I should have been exploring my sexuality with someone who was also fresh and new. And someone who also had to worry about their math grades and curfew. I should have been dating and having fun, instead of spending my teen years in musty apartment bedrooms. Even if I did really want to be in those bedrooms at the time.
Anyway, thats my two cents. If it interrupts your fantasy of screwing a fifteen year old virgin, but so be it. My fantasy of owning a guy who’d do all of my dishes for me was also screwed by our societies increasing move towards equality.
Yeah, poor people only deserve to have sex with other poor people. People should really stick to their own kind. :rolleyes:
I’ve never really bought the “power dynamic” theory. There are a few situations where sex could possibly create an obviously unfair conflict of interest (if you bang your boss and then he gives you a promotion because of it, instead of someone else who clearly deserved it more), but most of the time, that just isn’t the case. Sex is sex. It’s just not that big of a deal. Europeans understand this - for whatever reason Americans don’t.
I’m intrigued. Can I ask where you lived? In my head I’m assuming it is/was a Middle Eastern country.
That reminds me of that classic vid about a nightmarish blow job: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1V38MWIPHg (I don’t know if it’s considered NSFW but let’s play it that way).
I assume she’s referring to her Peace Corps service in Cameroon (West Africa, not Middle East).