I don’t mean that other nationalities never say anything about their children, at least in passing, and occasionally we do get substantial details, like when China Guy announced his children’s birth. But usually when someone posts specifically to talk about their kids, especially their accomplishments or how adorable they are, they’re almost always American. The same seems to go for pregnancy, or trying to get pregnant, or birth announcements, how somebody won their child a giant octopus at a fair, etc., etc.
Is it just me or have others noticed it? If it isn’t just me, it seems like a remarkable cultural difference.
I have to admit that one thing I mentioned doesn’t quite ring true…Americans seem to talk about their children in any situation, bad as well as good. Some have posted about grave illness or disciplinary problems in their kids, up to and including Zut’s heartwrenching story about his stillborn twins.
I don’t know. The recent “how do I avoid losing my child” thread was posted by a Brit. Roger Thornhill talks about his daughter (as in “I need a new name for her”), and he’s a Brit, too.
By the way, did we ever work out what percentage of the board was American? Or Usonian, I should say?
Possibly that’s the crux of the matter–Americans may be more preponderant here than I realized, so I only happen to have noticed posts of the type mentioned from Americans.
Also, aside from the numerical superiority of Americans on the board, how many of the Euro-Asian-African Dopers have children? Surely some do, but not all, therefore you don’t hear much about their kids.
I’m going to mangle this username, so forgive me, but Hakkiado Brit also posts lots about (her?) kids. One of them is (or at least was in his younger days) a real handful, so she has some great commisserating stories when we feel overwhelmed.
(Not stalking you, Brit, really. I just remember the stories!)
It seems like there was a rash of NZ and Aussie pregnant dopers recently, but perhaps I’m misremembering.
I’ve always thought that people (being in the U.S., those people would be “Americans,” I suppose) talk too much about their kids. But that could just be because I don’t have any, don’t want any, and am generally not interested in them. Makes it hard to find other women I have much in common with, at least IRL.
It’s possible it’s just me you’re remembering, but I’m an American living in Australia. I can’t remember another Antipoedean pregnancy offhand, but I do know there’s at least one Canadian in the Pregnant Doper thread because we briefly talked about their ultrasound policies there.
I don’t know if this is relevant to the OP, but I can tell you that the Australians I know IRL with kids talk about them, brag about them, complain about them, and include them as much as any American. In fact, I’m really impressed with the child-friendly atmosphere here - in some cases, children are even more visible here than they would be in the States.
I always imagined China Guy was American. I think one difference between USonians and others is that educated and self-educated USonians (quite a lot of them - must be that pioneer, staking-out spirit) tend to be very scientific in comparison with your average Brit. Thus, while we’d talk about a ‘dicky tummy’, they’ll be aware of, and telling you, that it’s actually the small intestine (probably in Latin) and all the 1001 drugs, herbs and remedies that are available. Then someone sets up a website about it, and everyone starts slagging each other off, and multiple other websites mushroom.
It’s a bit the same with kids. I came across a US parenting magazine at around the same time my wife was pregnant with Natalie (by the way, the renaming thread was of course a piss-take; a sort of p[arody of all the threads where people ask others to think up names for their cat, weasel, etc, but never ever use any of those names but one they had in mind all along). We were both amused, and a bit amazed, at the enormous selection of cots (I think they’re called something else in American - the big things with bars), and all the text devoted to them. Painted, unpainted, pine, natural pine, unnatural pine, etc. And the prices! And we’d just picked up ours (white painted, gnawed in places) second hand from a friend.
Every parent is dead proud of their baby. (Sadly, some less so of their kid as he/she grows up.) It’s natural, normal and to be encouraged. What is cultural to a degree, I think, is the earnestness with which pregnancy, “birthing”, child-rearing and “parenting” are discussed. And USonians, generally, as a group, as far as these stereotypes can be applied, are very earnest. One of the reasons I love them.
And we’re warned repeatedly and loudly by The Powers That Be to never, ever buy a used one, because Precious Snookums could get his head caught in bars spaced improperly in a crib made pre-some regulation date or another. If you must get a used crib, you use a soda can to test the space between the bars - if a can’s diameter will fit, the bars are too far apart and the baby could strangle herself by getting her head caught. And, of course, if the paint is chipping, you need to thoroughly sand and refinish it, because babies can choke on paint chips. Better yet, just don’t get it, because it could be old paint with lead in it, which will poison the baby to even breathe the lead dust created while sanding. And don’t even think of using someone else’s baby’s mattress - think of all the cooties in there!
I think that’s one reason why we talk so much about such things: we’re convinced that we’re going to kill our babies unless we follow all of The Rules to a T, and “they” keep changing the rules on us. So we must take every opportunity (and yes, this one was tongue-in-cheek) to display our knowledge of The Current Rules and remind each other of how we’re going to unintentionally murder our offspring if we’re not careful.
She had a big head - all that brain had to fit somewhere!!! - so there’s was little danger of it it getting stuck. And we did check those kind of basic things. Anyhow, I sometimes wonder whether a little more attention devoted to what we as parents do and how we live, and the effect of this on our little one’s mind, wouldn’t pay greater dividends than mugging up on all the facts and stats about lead free paint. After all, bit of lead didn’t do me or my forebears any harm. Maybe it’s just easier to talk about pure Vermont unfinished pine with all the weevils taken out or better still organically integrated for baby’s comfort than face unpleasant truths about the power we possess to hurt them emotionally and mentally.
I could write volumes every day about my son and step-son, but I worry I will bore people so I don’t mention them much. Same at work. I know every detail of most of my co-workers kids, right down to their soccer practice schedule, but I rarely speak of my own.
It doesn’t bore or bother me to hear about others, but for some reason I feel like no one would care to hear about mine.
It’s just as well, with all the drama my two create, as I said, I could fill volumes.
I have no doubt that I can’t fully appreciate what all of these other parents are experiencing by having kids – I’m a male in my early-20’s – but I am amazed by how much I have to hear about these people that I will never meet, and don’t have much interest in meeting. My response usually consists of smiling and nodding. Of course, I think I’m more tolerant of kid stories from people I like, than the ones I don’t, so that might be a flaw in my reasoning. Brief mentions about something funny that happened, or a bizarre situation are fine and understandable, but constant updates about the daily goings-on or the cutest little thing someone’s kid did leave me wondering why I should care.
I’ve tried to spare others by asking my mom not to share stories about me. I know my request doesn’t work, but I think (hope) it has at least made her use better judgment when sharing stories. There didn’t seem to be any sort of filter on info that was shared for the longest time. What is funny to some doesn’t matter to strangers or co-workers. There are appropriate times and places, but some people don’t seem to realize this.
Eek! I just came across this as I ambled down the thread!
I am a bit ashamed of how much I talk about my kids, but in many ways its because I have very little else in my life. My kids and their foibles are mine and mine alone, living in a foreign country with no family support and a husband who is away working more often than he is here.
I also think I talk too much about my kids - I noticed it a few days ago when I went out on a very rare jaunt on my own to an English teacher’s get together. People just aren’t interested and I have to learn to shut up! At least here I can’t see people’s eyes glazing over…
And as for the handful boy, he is doing very well at the moment, dare I say it! He IS a handful, but he’s also imaginative, active and kindhearted, so I’d take him over a pudding any day.
I think the premise is flawed. Actually a rather small percentage of all posters post much personal commentary on their families. Still too many in my estimation, but to each his own. Considering that the board is probably at least a 20 to 1 majority, you notice it most from Americans.
I suppose there may be a certain degree of truth to the fact that Americans have a somewhat more open attitude about sharing this stuff, but I don’t know that theratio of posts here is a very good example of that.
Fah! I don’t know about your personal life, but I don’t think you talk about your kids “too much” here. I don’t think any of us do, and I probably talk about mine more than anyone on the board. This year has been the first in my life that I’m a stay-at-home mom, and they’re pretty much the center of my life at the moment. Since I mostly hang out in IMHO and MPSIMS, there’s a lot of pregnancy, childbirth and child-rearing questions and discussions that I find interesting. People here are much more bearable than any parenting forum I’ve found out there.
And it’s nice to know that no matter how challenging one of my kids is being, Hokkaido’s been through worse and survived it!
If people don’t want to read about other people’s kids, then there’s no need to open threads with titles like “Pregnant Doper Update” or “Kids’ Science Projects”. There’s hundreds of new threads here every week, there’s plenty of kid-free choices. Trust me, I avoid all sports-related threads, and they don’t bother me one bit.
And yes, C3 and 1920’s, yours were pregnancies I remembered, but I somehow thought there were a couple more. Maybe not. Maybe, like the OP, I remembered a couple but thought it was more!
Oh dear…Well, I suppose I have started a few pregnancy related threads here, but that is because Dopers are such an intelligent, well informed bunch. I know when I was losing my shyte (to put it mildy) with false labor contractions there were some members who really calmed me down - and made me feel not so alone. (I don’t have any pregnant friends or even friends with children, so this helped me out tremendously!)
I never really wanted children and didn’t think I would ever have any. Now that my son is born I am a baby worshipping freak. It’s amazing how that happens! So I apologize in advance for any kid friendly threads I may start or contribute to…being American and all.
Well, there was also fessie, who I’m pretty sure was in Australia and had some exciting baby stuff going on last year. I haven’t seen her lately, though. Fessie, where did you go?
I like the parenting/kid threads, since (as you others have noticed) this is the only place around to find intelligent conversation about them. I just skip the ones I don’t feel like reading.
I try not to talk too much about my kids (here or IRL), though I’m sure some of you are sick of hearing about food allergies (I am too). I like hearing about kids, really, but I dislike some of the almost-bragging I run into sometimes. My mom and I were laughing the other night about the parents who come into the library (where we both work, but I’m a sub) and say, “I need a book for my son. He’s in 3rd grade”–and then they hurry to add–“but he’s reading at a 5th grade level!” This happens with every. single. parent. that needs a book for a kid, and let me tell you, librarians don’t care that your kid is reading 6 months ahead of the charts. They just want him to enjoy a good book.
As a result, I tend to try to downplay my girls’ (incredibly brilliant) accomplishments, which I probably wouldn’t do if I weren’t so convinced of their utter perfection.
