ENOUGH about your kid(s) already!

I like kids - I really do. They’re so much fun to watch when they don’t know you’re paying attention. I get a thrill watching as they discover their toes or a bird outside the window or the triumph of completing a picture puzzle for the first time. Their interactions can be so entertaining. Kids are great.

But for goodness sakes, friends, coworkers, casual acquaintances, clueless relatives, would you please shut up about your kids! You didn’t invent procreation. You didn’t invent parenthood. You haven’t witnessed the absolute first word/smile/step of any baby anywhere. Your child is not the cutest, cuddliest, most adorable ever to grace the planet. Close, but not quite.

I’m glad you love your child. I’m glad the kid brings you joy and fulfillment. I hope you raise a fine, upstanding, responsible individual who will be sure to take care of you in your old age. However, I don’t need or want to hear every cute story, every doctor’s report, every milestone that apparently consume your thoughts. When I ask “How’s the kid(s)?” I’m truly not interested in the quantity and consistency of diaper contents, and I don’t need a step by step by step by step narration of the latest adorable thing said kid(s) entertained you with.

Back in the pre-baby days, I know you talked about things. Those things are still valid conversation fodder. Please, please, please dig back into your memory and try a few of those topics. I promise I’ll acknowledge Sally’s and Jimmy’s accomplishments and I’ll ask questions if I’m really interested. But if I don’t ask, please do not assume I’m too shy to inquire. Instead, mention the weather or something in the news or the raggedy front lawn on your block.

Yeah, I know I’ve probably told more than most of you want to know about my Perfect Child[sup]TM[/sup] but I really do try to be aware of how much I share, and I like to think that if I get obnoxious about it, someone would tell me or drop me an email to say so. I know even my mother doesn’t want to hear all the amazing things her eldest granddaughter has done, believe it or not.

I do like kids, really. But I like adult conversation, too. Would you please give it a try once in a while? Please? I promise to be considerate when my Perfect Grandchildren[sup]TM[/sup] are born.

You know, your post reminds me of something my kid said the other day, it seems he…


Incidentally, this is not a reaction to any thread or post. It’s just something that’s been simmering below the surface and I overheard something that just pushed me over the edge. I’m better now that I’ve mentally purged. No bloodshed or anything…

I can really sympathise…I used to work with someone who couldn’t have kids, so she transferred all of her maternal instinct to…her Chihuahua.

And I heard all the same crap that I would’ve heard if it had been a child, or at least the same, incessant fawning.

On the bright side, I got downsized, so I didn’t have to listen to her stories about Muffin any more.

But… but… but…

snif :frowning:



Robyn, let’s form a support group.

As someone who is desperate to have a baby and loves them to death, I have to wholeheartedly agree with OP.

A friend of mine just had his first baby three months ago, and now everything on the planet is put in that perspective. His answering machine says “Hi this is the baby’s name’s house!”

I asked him about the Steelers game and he said “Who cares about football? When you have a baby, sports don’t mean shit anymore”

When I asked if he was goign to ever act again on stage he said “Why? All that matters is that I have a kid! It’s greater than anything on the planet! I’m my son’s dad! That’s all that matters.”
People who lose their entire idenity for the sake of a newborn are frightening. I only HOPE I don’t turn out that way (although I cannot guarantee it)

blessedwolf, my dad had a woman in his carpool who did the same about her poodle! We weren’t in the least surprised when her husband left her.

FairyChatMom,for the love of God, whatever you do, do not, repeat, DO NOT link to This!

This from the Perfect Child’s mom!? Say it ain’t so!

umm, no, I wasn’t going to that link. And that’s not the kind of thing I was thinking about anyway. There’s a woman I worked with who always managed to steer any conversation to her kids. Anything you said was a segue to the wonderfulness of her offspring. She had pics of her kids everywhere. If the internet had existed back then, she’d have created a cyber shrine to them. She and her husband were so into the kids, it was tedious to be around them.

Now, kids running around with underwear on their heads are funny! Kids feeding themselves spaghetti for the first time is funny (I’ve got pics to prove that) But getting daily updates on a kid’s height, weight, number of teeth, and number of burps is not.

Then again, maybe I’m a terrible mom - I don’t know what my kid’s APGAR score was. :eek:

Yeah, I hear ya about everybody’s kids FairyChatMom. Makes it hard for me to get a word in edgewise about what my widdle cutesy poopsy, who looks at me with his widdle sad poopsy puppy eyes like he’s saying “pwease daddy, take your widdle purty poopsy woopsy out for a walkie and then give poopsy woopsy a yummy for the tummy treatie.”

Sheesh, you’d think people could get a life.


[sub]Can’t believe I did this, specially since FCM now has my home address.[/sub] :eek:

um, swampbear, that dinner we were supposed to have? Umm, yeah, I’ll get back to you on that…

Having kids is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

You’re better off spending the money on an aardvark or something.


I agree with you. I mean, I get excited over my bunnies new tricks or how cute my kitty cats are, but pleaasssse. If all someone can talk about it their kids, pets, etc., they need another hobby.

I’m almost 3 mos prego and I’m scared shitless about losing my identity. And BTW…I’ve been ttc for 3 years, and I’m still not totally warped with speaking only if infertility issues. I do have a life!

I just don’t want to end up with a brain of mush after the baby arrives.

I guess it’s in my power to stop it, right?!?! lol.

Yes, having a child changes EVERYTHING, but it’s not soley who you are.

sorry about the typos…it’s starting already!!!

congrats on the baby siemsi.

My mom does this to me, about my little cousins. You see, she had me when she was relatively young (19) and she’s the oldest in her family. In the past 4 years, her sisters have had 6 children. So instead of talking to me, and hearing about what’s going on in my life, she feels the need to tell me every “cute” little thing one of my cousins did.

FCM I’ll be sure to bring all my pictures of widdle pwecious cutesy poopsie wookin so sweet and cuddwy for daddy. Awww…wook a whole album of nothing but cutesy poopsie holdin up his widdle paw to shake hands…awwwwwww…

Oh, do I know what you mean. Most of my friends are just fine and have many conversational topics, but there are one or two who simply can’t talk about anything but their kids. I just don’t care what your second child weighed at age 3, or how you know when your daughter’s going to get a growth spurt, or the detailed contents of diapers (some diaper talk is acceptable, but only to a limit). Can we please, please, please talk about something else for a change??!? (Like how much of a genius the Kidlet is, perhaps.)

No, actually I do limit my kid-conversation–I get bored and I hate to sound like I’m bragging, so I go the other way.