I have always believed in the adage: “Don’t tell me about your 'roids; and I won’t tell you about my grandchildren.”
Dominic’s APGAR was 7/9
Mine was 10/10 
What’s the APGAR?
One of my girlfriends now has two children - one 18 months, one 2 months.
All I ever hear about is piss, shit and puke. I don’t call her that much anymore. 
She USED to be interesting.
One of my friends has recently developed the poopsie-woopsie syndrome too. His wife’s seven months along in her pregnancy and I can’t stop hearing about what color the baby’s room is and the great furniture they found for the baby and the cute clothes they just got for the baby and the planning for the baby showers… fer Gossakes, e-fucking-NOUGH! I’m happy for you guys, I really am, but if I have to hear one more word about your precious little bundle of joy, I’m going to smack both of you so hard that your great-grandchildren will feel it. And boy will they be pissed at you.
I feel better now. 
I feel your pain.
I am one of the few single friends left in the group. Four couples had their babies within two months of each other. I am very happy for all of them. However one mom in particular truly believes we all care as much about her baby as she and her husband do.
This mom constantly sends everyone e-mails with updated pictures. The baby sitting up, the baby spitting up, the baby waking up etc etc etc. It has become quite an annoyance.
This mom also feels that since now she is a new mom that all activites we do should include the babies. They did not show up to a New Years Eve party because she wanted to spend it with the baby. FYI, all the other new moms and dads were there.
I pray when the day comes and I am a father that I am not even half as annoying.
The father I spoke of above likes to send one email a week with at least five huge pictures of his kid in it.
It takes up a ton of space and takes forever to download and you have to respond because he’ll send an email that says,
“What did you think of the pictures? Did you get them? Aren’t they cute?”
Now, don’t sell yourself short. I’m sure that with some practice and determination you can be be every bit as annoying. You just gotta believe in yourself.
a somewhat meaningless measure of the health/vitality of a newborn.
(meaningless in the sense that an “8” is not really better than a “7”, for example…somewhat subjective)
The APGAR is taken at 1 minute and 5 minutes.
For example, BabyMaeve’s was 8 & 9. 
jarbaby can you start sending him pictures of your dog? Or even better your husband (Joey is it)?
“Here’s one of Joey eating spaghetti. Look at his smile.”
“Here’s one of Joey taking a widdle nappy on the couch.”
“Here’s one of Joey running around the house naked except for underwear on his head.”
jarbayj, those are rhetorical questions aren’t they? I have yet to answer any of those in the e-mails I get.
Maybe you should respond with:
Yes I did get them but I thought it was a joke. Those pics were either out of focus or your baby is damn ugly.
It is pretty much guarenteed to get you off all mailing lists and have you added to their “people we hate list”. I know it easier said then done. I can’t do it either.
Oh jeez, one of those!! One of the first thing we did upon achieving parenthood was to find competent babysitters. In fact, before the kid was even a year old, we left her with grandma for a week and went to the Keys. Teach 'em independence young, I say!
Good for you **FairyChatMom **! This past summer for my birthday I wanted to go to a local bar/restaurant and dance to cheesy 80s music all night. Two of my friends with kids wouldn’t come because one said “we’re not really into the bar scene and since we can’t bring Ashley we’d rather just go to someone’s house and celebrate” (Gee, thanks for telling me what YOU’D like to do for MY birthday) and the other was totally freaked out about going out for a night without widdle puddin’ since she was only 2 1/2 months old at the time. Now I love their kids as if they were my own nieces and nephews but this was SO hurtful.
Hubby and I are thinking of making this the year to start our family and we were happy that our parents never made us the center of their universes – they maintained their own identities and had their own lives beside being parents. We have the same attitude and independence and are looking forward to balancing those things when we’re parents.
FCM, can I borrow Grandma? My mom is great and wonderful and lives in town, but she doesn’t have time to take the Kidlet overnight. [/green with envy]
Wow. In reading about your friends, I feel so much better about myself. I mean, I know I talk about Aaron a lot, but I do talk about non-child stuff. Sometimes. And I don’t attach pix of him in e-mails; I link to the SDMB photo album and let those who want to look do so at their leisure. And I do occasionally insist that Aaron spend the day with his gramma so Mom and Dad can have some time as Robin and Dave. So, nyaah nyaah!
That said, Winnie, I can understand your friends not wanting to leave their 2-1/2 month old with a babysitter. That is kinda young, and I doubt the parents would have enjoyed a night out all that much, for worrying about the baby.
Robin
Robin
What I hate isn’t the people who talk constantly about their kids (okay, I can’t stand them either. Or the people who give me pitying looks when I tell them I’ll never have children because I can’t. Save your sympathy, you arrogant fucks.) I can’t stand the people who get into pissing matches about their parenting styles. Especially the “attatched parents” crowd, the breastfeeding crowd, the natural childbirth crowd.
Okay, so you’ve decided that childbirth should involve six hours of screaming and no pain meds. You’ve decided that your child will never be contaminated with formula. You’ve decided that strollers are the infant carriers of the man-goat. That’s fine. Really. I’m cool with that. NOW SHUT UP. I mean that. Stop ramming your fucking “alternative” parenting methods down everyone’s throat. Just because a mother chooses to give her child formula or to have a c-section or to have the baby sleep in a crib does not mean her child will be horribly scarred and she’ll never have a real meaningful relationship with her offspring. Trust me, bitch, you’ll fuck your spawn up with your “alternative” parenting methods just as fast as people who go the more “traditional” route.
I don’t acknowledge the existence of the person who inspired this rant. She used to be interesting. Then she discovered her fertility.
Ya gotta bear in mind Grandma was 17 years younger at the time. I think she’s past wanting to deal with a little’un at 71. My in-laws were great, tho. They’d watch the kid in a pinch, but they made it clear that they weren’t our staff. They’re about as independent as we are!
Mine went into daycare at 3 weeks - no choice about taking more time off work. But we loved the childcare providers and they gave our baby special attention because she was so young. That did a lot to ease our worries. To this day, we see “Miss Louise” around town every once in a while and she still remembers us. And since the kid isn’t an axe murderess yet, I’m guessing we did OK…
ACK! I’m talking about my kid again - make me stop!!!
My friend recently had a child, and complained that less people wanted to talk to him anymore. “Gee,” I said, “I wonder what happened?” Could be that within five minutes of seeing him you have ten pictures to look at and twenty stories about shit, vomit, nonsense, and babysitting? If I wanted to hang out with your fucking kid, why am I with you?
I understand children are interesting, especially when they’re yours. But let’s give it a fucking rest, huh?
Only to a new parent is, “How are you doing?” a question that apparently deserves a detailed answer. The rest of us seem to know what to do with it, which is move the fuck on.
FCM - It was the pictures of the Chicklets wasn’t it?