Elle the Mommy-Blogger does a video “apology” to her “friends” for why she makes absolutely no time for them. No, it’s okay, we get it - kids are the only important thing in the entire world, and moms are the only important thing in the entire world. Good job using your kids as an excuse to be a horrible person.
You don’t have kids, do you?
Whatever makes Elle feel better about herself, I suppose.
I don’t know anything about Elle other than what was in the linked video. I have a 3 and a 1 year old and it looked about right. Except her house was too clean.
I had “friends” like “this”. Spending all their “time” with their “kids” instead of “me.” Horrible, “horrible” people. Fuck 'em.
Let’s be sympathetic, shall we? She’s so busy, she barely has time to create, edit and post dozens of videos of herself to YouTube.
Very funny, VT
I read an article recently on the subject–not gonna watch the video, sorry–and yeah, it rang true. Between work and family, I have very, very little time to hang out with other folks. We don’t have reliable babysitters, instead depending on an exchange of babysitting favors with other parents; date nights happen maybe four times a year. Our youngest is too young to spend the night away from home (she still wakes up often in the middle of the night, and we’re unwilling to inflict that on someone else).
It’s important for childless folks to know that kids are MASSIVE time sinks. And yeah, Cat Whisperer, even if you’re one of my best friends, my kids are more important to me than you. They’re not the most important thing in the world, but bet your ass I’ll prioritize them over you, because you’re a grown-ass adult who can take care of yourself, and my kids aren’t.
Fortunately my childless friends and family members are pretty understanding; I hope that the day will come when I can be more social again.
Everyone’s experience with children is different, but it is eerie how accurateI found this article.
Cool.
But if you literally can’t sit at the table and chat with me for half an hour without constantly interacting with your toddler because I didn’t bring over my own crotch spawn to play with yours, then I’m not going to bother, frankly.
Yeah, until I had kids myself I had absolutely no idea. Toddlers in particular are a huge amount of work. Mobile enough to get themselves killed, strong-willed enough to argue, but still young enough to require your help to accomplish Every. Damn. Little. Thing.
I think part of the problem is that childless people remember what it’s like to be an older kid. Playing by yourself while mom chats on the phone. Dressing yourself and coming downstairs for breakfast. Buckling yourself in the back of the car. Dong your homework while your dad mows the lawn. So it seems like a parent who is swamped caring for littler kids is some sort of selfish, micromanaging nut: “That’s not how my parents were!”
They were. You were just so little you don’t remember.
When people call, text or email to tell me they are sooooooooooo busy (SOOOOO SOOOOOO busy) I think of when Homer Simpson rings on someone’s (Flanders?) door so he can announce he has NO TIME. “But you rang on my bell…” I don’t expect anyone to devote any maintenance time to me But the my time is more important than you busy boasting is fecking annoying. Don’t bother then! This chick did it for a cutesy YouTube video benefit? Rather than care what her friends were up to? (If they are expected to take time out of their own stuff to watch videos? Presumptive, yeah? Maybe they are also busy?)
It’s just a little braggy, right? Like status over the (assuming) less busy. Why else waste time talking about it? So little time!
If you call children “crotch spawn”, then I will not bother to interact with you at all, ever.
So it’s win-win!
When I visit friends with young children, I DO CHORES.
If you know these people well enough to hang out with them and sustain a real friendship, you know them well enough to do some dishes or mop or vacuum a floor or cook a meal or run a load of laundry. Not just now and then, but every time you walk into their house.
Home life for parents of young kids is exponentially busier and more event-driven than home life for non-parents. So if we want our friends still to make time for us, it’s only reasonable and kind to try to ease the strain of some of the other demands on their time.
Besides, friends who have just seen half their evening’s chore load magically disappear from their crowded schedules are WAY better company than friends who are desperately trying to keep their “company face” on for half an hour of stilted conversation in the living room while their unfinished tasks are eating into the back of their minds. “Oh thanks so much Kimstu, I’d been dreading tackling that and now I can really relax for a bit! Say, why don’t we open a bottle of that really nice wine that we got last year?” 
You know why they’re constantly interacting with their toddler? Because toddlers are too little to understand “Daddy’s busy right now.”
So either I interrupt our conversation NOW to redirect my kid so he’s amusing himself for ten more minutes. Or I interrupt our conversation two minutes from now when he’s escalated to whining and tugging at my shirt.
Sorry, whelpings, then.
Yeah, new parents need a couple of years to get through that quicksilver time in the start. There just is no time, and in the blink of an eye, a year has passed.
Myself I always cut them some slack, it’s hard and they’re tired, the pressure to start well is so high! They’ll get the hang of it, find their rhythm, come back around.
I usually try to set up a date when I can bring dinner in for them, (maybe something I cooked, but make it something easy to take like lasagne and a salad!), no prep, no clean up, round about when the wee ones are headed soon to bed. I get to visit with them they get a meal, a visit, no cleanup and don’t have to leave the house! The trick is you can’t stay late, keep your visit short!
When next you meet, ask if it worked for them, you may hear it did indeed. You might be able to set up a pattern, short notice randomly, or set a regular date even.
That’s not what she implied in the video. I would expect your response.
Honestly it’s not the time suckage that bothers me, because I totally get it. I’m also completely on board with offering to babysit or bring over a meal because that’s what friends do. What bothers me is how some parents act as if their lives are suddenly much more important than mine. I’ve had friends who stopped asking about my life and would say things like, “Oh I WISH I had more time to paint/crochet/read but I just have so many more important things to do.” Um, okay.
I’m also going to give them the side-eye if we can’t even have a 5 minute conversation without them talking about little Kayden or Brayden, or if they start posting 50 photos a day of their kids on Facebook.
Jesus, it’s actually sad how much time the OP dedicates to griping about parents and children. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more obnoxious example of someone protesting too much.
Get the fuck over it, and quit reading mommy blogs.