Happened to my friend’s dad. When anyone at work had a problem in their life, he was the fixer. If someone was sick, or needed a ride somewhere, or died, he was the guy with the flowers or the car or the words of comfort.
Then he died, and nobody from the company even acknowledged his death for a week. No card, no wreath, just silence. Was the company excessively mean? No, it was merely negligent, because the guy they relied on to do that sort of thing was dead.
I agree with the idea that your actions make you a good individual, but don’t expect a company, or the people who work there, to act like they give a shit. Companies are amoral, and there’s no necessity for coworkers to get personally involved with their colleagues.
When I read this. . .I don’t get “good co-worker”; I get, “nosy busybody”.
I’m “buddies” with the guys at work. I’m not necessarily “friends” with them. I don’t loan them cash or donate my chaffeur services, and as far as I know, no one else here does either.
I don’t know where you live where your co-workers seem to not have family or friends, but those are simply NOT things that I would do for my co-workers or even remotely expect them to do for me. Maybe they’re all implicityly telling you that.
A guy needs a ride to the place 3 miles away because of an oil change? Sure.
Bring him stuff at the ICU? Lend him cash for his crises? Not my co-workers.
I just wanted to say I am so sorry about your mom. You sound like a really kind and generous person, and I believe that will come back to you, even if it doesn’t seem like it now. If there is anything I can do to offer comfort or help, just ask.
I have to go with the minority crowd and say that many of the things you describe as a “good co-worker” is way over the top. You lent money to your co-workers relatives? Drive a 100 miles to deliver a care package? Yikes.
Very recently a co-worker’s father died suddenly. We took up a collection for some kind of care package type thing and I myself gave her a little book on Christian mourning (she’s pretty devout) but it would never had occured to me to house sit or run errands for her. That’s what her family, friends and church folk are for. She’s a nice enough person, I would have done it if asked.
One thing:
Reports for work? That is something you should ask about. A decent boss will lower your workload a little during a family crisis.
I agree with what others have said. Unless you have actual outside-of-work personal relationships with these folks, I can’t imagine anyone who would feel comfortable going to your house and watering your plants.
Work reports…yeah you need to step up and talk to someone in charge about that.
Really, to me you seem like a gregarious person. Someone with a lot of friends. They probably think you have a lot of friends too that are already watering your plants and leaving casseroles in the fridge and sitting with you at the hospital. Do you talk about your love life with co-workers? You’re single right now, right? Do they know that? They know you have a sister and a brother - do they know they’re not involved? Your coworkers might assume they are.
Your mom dying is a Really Big Thing. It’s not something that can be fixed by monetary donations or even a card. Do they send a card now “sorry your mom is sick” or in three weeks “sorry your mom is still sick” or wait until she has passed (if that happens)? Babies are easy to congratulate - they’re on a schedule. Broken limbs and debt, they go away. Your mother being in the hospital, possibly on her deathbed, is just too big a thing for the realm of people-you-happen-to-work-with.
This is small beer compared to the grievances of some others in this thread, but – I had a job once where, when I was heading out for lunch, would often ask the others if there was anything I could bring back for them from [BK or whatever].
Not once did anybody else reciprocate the offer. And yes, they were basically a bunch of assholes.
CarnalK, you motherless piece of shit, you best winning argument yet mentioned for the legality of suicide, you nothing, you “unworthy of reversing a Custer decision”, you absolute conglomeration of misery and nothingness and the smegma of a thousand years of syphiletic shitcovered hags and the fathers who raped them, you encourager of the nastiest e-mails ever sent to my account (all by anonymous untraceable shits like yourself) from people who post statements like this exact quote about my mother:
get your fucking stupid evil worthless TROLL ass out of this and never post to any thread I mention again.
If this piece of shit is not banned, I am. In fact, I am, I withdraw from this board voluntarily (after today- I may have a few more comments to make today), keep the balance of my account, I will not be a part of a board that will let a piece of shit like this return. (I am not the person who threatened to kill the nonnie on your board, but if somebody did I would fucking sure give everything I had to their defense fund and I would gladly pay $2,000 to pummel your worthless ass into unconsciousness and be waiting for you again when you arose.)
Before I am banned perhaps somebody will read this: if anybody can recommend a lawyer to SLAPP a message board, please recommend by e-mail. I don’t give a shit what they say about me, but the above crossed a line and when added to the quoting at length from my postings and to the provable libels about me in other threads I’m pretty sure I have a case. I don’t expect money, it’s the principal of the thing.
Sampiro, there is no way I encouraged anyone to send you any sort of email. Further, I think posting tldr type stuff in your original thread was pretty low.
If you really need a venting target I’m happy to oblige. However, don’t actually believe that because I’m the only one with a visible presence there that I’m somehow a coordinator of shithead action.
Another board directly related to this one in which my mother is wished death, and whose acolytes have been sending me harassing e-mails through the account on file here.
CARNAL-K, before my banning I hope you read this because I’m dead serious:
Once the crisis with my mother is resolved (whether by lingering death as you [or the one who claims to be Diogenes but isn’t] wishes or however), I will GLADLY and I say here before witnesses I am dead serious- my real name is (name deleted), I am in Montgomery, Alabama and I will come to you wherever you are)-
Let me know where to meet you.
We will set a date and I will pay my own way to where you are. We will each sign waivers releasing each other from legal or financial responsibility for each other’s injuries and we will resolve this.
You will see exactly how limp this faggot’s wrist is. I am dead fucking serious. Name a place- the only requirements are that it be public, well lit and I’m allowed to have an equal number of my own people there.
CarnalK you are a piece of shit and in full knowledge of the rules of this board
I WISH YOU DEATH YOU FUCKING TROLL!
Also, I’m suing you. I’ve already contacted the lawyer.
(Faggots [those like me who solicit and suck the cocks of underaged boys behind dumpsters according to your site] are known for their flamboyant exits, you know.)
Also, “untraceable” emails can sometimes actually be traced. Talk to your ISP about getting the sender of those emails kicked off his service. Dude, there is no way I would endorse fuckheaded stalking like you describe, regardless of how I feel about you.
Was it really you who made that comment, Dio? I really hope not.
Has anybody here ever looked at a woman who is terminally ill (she is- it’s official) and had going through your head a comment like the above- that I hope your mother dies a lingering death for entertainment value? Have you?
I am officially insane at the moment and would gladly knock the shit out of anybody associated with that board-
I don’t go for that kind of crap. Sorry someone said that to you, Sampiro. Not that it changes my opinion about the OP here. But, that’s shit, no matter how you stir it.
Whoa! Locking this now. Sampiro, of course you’re upset but we still have rules here. And we can hardly ban CarnalK for something posted anonymously someplace else; we have NO way of know if that was him or someone else. (I do wish CarnalK would get a hobby better than “collector and enabler of other people’s pissiness”, however)