Guy at work, very well loved, 20 yr. employee, married, 5 kids–had a major brain bleed today on the way to work, made it in, but couldn’t get out of truck, woozy. They called 911–he’s in really really bad shape, made it thru surgery, but prognosis not good. I feel for him, he’s lovely, really.
BUT, 2 of the 3 owners went right to the hospital, and have been there all day, with several employees. They’re sending regular reports over to us. This totally gags me. I called the BF and told him under NO circumstances would work people be allowed within a mile of me if I was unconscious in the hospital under emergency conditions. <shudder>
Maybe I am an uber privacy freak, but this is just grating on me–isn’t this his wife and family’s business and no one else’s unless he (who is incapacitated) choses to have it shared???
I imagine it would be the relationship outside of work between the sick employee and the employers which would govern this situation. If he routinely did things outside the office with people (which he may well do if he’s been there 20 years), then they are friends, not just coworkers/bosses and it would be up to his family.
If they’re there at the hospital out of concern for your coworker, that’s admirable. I doubt they are literally at his bedside taking reports from his physicians. Maybe he had a personal relationship with the owners and they are concerned for their friend. It’s better then the alternative, IMO.
This exact thing happened like 13 years ago where I worked. I think it would be entirely valid to leave a daily message of “Bob is still in the hospital with no improvement, and the prognosis is poor. We ask you to keep his family in your thoughts.”
What actually happened was our department director would leave these daily long, rambling voicemails with complete medical detail and family response. I just couldn’t help thinking that living employees are troublesome to deal with, but when one is dying, the cost/benefit ratio becomes extremely favorable to invest lots of cheap PR. Of course nobody knows what’s in a person’s heart, and there’s a first time for everyone to handle one of these, so I suppose err on the side of compassion.
Depends upon the situation. I’ve worked in family owned small businesses and you begin to think of the employees as part of an extended family. I seen employees who stole from the company who were simply asked to pay it back but kept on because “Cheryl’s been here 15 years! She made a mistake and she’s sorry!”
The lines can get kind of blurred.
Many people seem to really appreciate this kind of attention. We have had people at work who share their medical issues with everyone, even people they rarely interact with and with whom they have no relationship. Years ago a coworker passed away and probably over 75% of the people here, even those from different departments, attended her funeral. I found it bizarre, but understand that people have different attitudes.
When I had surgery, I told only my boss, and all I told him was that I was having “a procedure” and the days I would be out. Everyone else just assumed I was on vacation, which was amusing when I returned and they asked me whether I had a good time.
My guess is that most of my coworkers would really like to have the boss hanging out at the hospital while they were sick.
One other thought: maybe the owners have been watching too many work ensemble T.V. shows. It always strikes me as strange when the entire “gang” (meaning all of the regular characters) spend hours at the hospital with someone.
Yeah, I guess my mind also went right to the “strict asshole” expectation of bosses, but no way in hell are most coworkers (never mind bosses*) going to be allowed in my room if I’m hospitalized. My husband also knows that most of his family are also not allowed or only for extremely short, supervised visits. Hospitals are for recuperating, dammit, and they do not exactly lend themselves to that.
Unless it’s a problem that the doctors I work for specialize in, and in that case I expect they will be taking care of me.
These are people who have known each other for 20 years. Of course they’re going to do what they can to show support and try to help the family out. How sad would that be if coworkers/friends of 20 years didn’t try to help out in a crisis?
Where I work we all hang out outside of the office and truly like and even love each other. We’ve had babies, lost several parents among us, gone through weddings, etc. When my boss’ mom died, our whole damn office was at the funeral - that’s how we roll. If one of us stroked out you bet your ass some of us would be at the hospital while the others stayed at the office to hold down the fort.
Your coworker is a lucky man and I’m sure his family probably appreciates the outpouring of support. I hope he pulls through
Guess it’s a matter of personal preference. I was so creeped out by the “come in here, we’re going to get an update on D_______” announcements, and a call from someone who said “the boss said we can release information on him, so I called you.” Seemed like gawking at a car wreck to me. I know when my husband was dying, I told no one but the owner (the main owner) and made him keep it secret. No one knew until I started missing so much time, it was obvious something was going on.
I’m as close to a private person as can be, but I can’t grasp the problem here. presumably the people this guy works with are close enough to want to know how well he’s doing. and (barring any HIPAA concerns) I can’t see how knowing how he’s doing is materially harmful. hell, I’d be fucking elated to know my co-workers cared that much about me.
If you don’t want your bosses, co-workers, friends, etc. to visit you in the hospital, that’s not unreasonable, but your notion that there is something “creepy” about this man’s employers personally supporting his family is bizarre. Do you really think sitting around the hospital waiting to see if someone survives surgery is something people do just to be selfish jerks? Why are you assuming that his wife does not want the employers there? With five kids to worry about, having extra adults around could be a lifesaver. And as far as updating the rest of the staff goes, the man came to work and was rushed to the hospital - obviously, people are going to be concerned about how he is doing, so why shouldn’t they be informed?
Maybe if you didn’t see them as “work people,” but just “people,” this would make more sense to you.
Shit. I work with a bunch of freaking nurses for a small family owned company run by a stereotypical Asian Tiger Mother. Just try keeping them away from the hospital. I dare you.
Normally, medical personnel aren’t allowed to convey medical information to anyone but immediate family, so I expect that the owners are getting their info from family members. I guess it’s possible that the family doesn’t know that the owners are sending reports, but it’s also possible that they do know. If you feel strongly that you wouldn’t want this info to be conveyed to your co-workers, I think it would be a good idea to talk to your family about it.
