I have a friend who gets offended at quite a lot of things. She reads sociology books on slavery, on woman’s oppression, on culture bias, and on racial prejudice and takes all their history to heart, almost as if they personally happened to her.
She objects to casinos because they target and exploit the poor. I tell her that people choose to go there, no one forces them. She objects to any joke that has any racial overtones. It doesn’t matter if the joke is being told with no malicious intent to the group of people the joke is about and they have no objection to it. We ask her what right she has to be upset about a joke dealing with group X when she isn’t group X and group X is laughing at the joke! She recently told me that the word Oriental is a slur word. Hey, new one on me, but ok, I won’t use that word around her.
I once asked her if she found blond jokes offensive. She said no. What if some of your best friends were blond and they told you it was offensive to them? Well then, I’d probably find it offensive. But a second ago you said it wasn’t offensive! That was before I learned it hurt someone.
Look, everything, EVERYTHING, is offensive to someone, somewhere. There’s probably someone who thinks the word “and” killed their parents, so they refuse to use it in writing. My questions are, 1) at what point have you become too offended at the things around you and 2) what right do you have to be offended for a group you don’t belong to?
I’m not, I drink office coffee. Whoring sounds just as offensive and disqusting as that mud at work. and, I suppose, some gotta do what some gotta do! me, its drink coffee.
2 ) Some people try too hard to prove how unprejudiced they are. And, what it is, actually, is a facade for their own prejudice. Why? I think it’s fear. Fear of conflict? Fear of getting beat-up?
I’m not positive if this applies to your friend, but these are the kind of people I’ve had experience with.
I’ve dated a few women like that. It seems they are eager to show how much they know about why things are offensive that would never occur to normal people.
Ten minutes after meeting them I am thinking of how to get out ASAP.
I know a woman who is very much like the person you describe. She has a book on what words to use in place of “he” or “she” on her desk at work. She takes offense at pretty much everything.
But even she’s not as bad as one I encountered at sexual harassment training (you didn’t know we had to be trained to do that, didja?). We were all sitting there, bored to tears and wanting to get the hell out after two hours of dreck. The lawyers giving the training were pretty much done and asked if there were any questions. Well, earlier they had explained that harassment is based on the standard of what a “reasonable person” would find offensive. There was one woman in the back who just couldn’t get this through her head. She wanted it to be based on what she considered offensive, and to hell with the “reasonable person”! She went on and on, and everybody there wanted to lynch her at that point (including the lawyers giving the training, I suspect). She pretty much admitted that she was an unreasonable person and would be offended by pretty much anything. I’m just glad she doesn’t work anywhere near me.
Beiing easily offended can bring one rewards at work. I have worked with such people and they were treated with kid gloves. And let’s face it, if you are easily offended, you come off to many as being a sincere, caring, empathetic person.
I found the original link to the picture on the official website, but they have it listed as “under repair” and there is no picture available there.
Btw…I find this to be a strange trend. In a nearby town, West Orange, NJ, they have life sized cow statues all over the town. They are painted by different artists all sorts of different ways. They have even painted many of the fences around town white with black cow spots.
Well, I looked for a link to the West Orange Cows and was surprised to find out that a TON of towns are doing the cow statue thing. Pictures
From the “My brother died that way” article on “The Onion”, link post by jmullany:
Talk about hitting the nail right on the head! I get mad at stuff that affects or offends me, but not at every potential offending action. I mean, you only have so much energy. Why waste it?
Because there is a big difference between finding certain jokes un-funny and finding them offensive. Your friend seems to have confused the two ideas. If she wants to find blonde jokes un-funny because she has blonde friends who find such jokes hurtful, so be it; but in order for a joke about ‘group X’ to be offensive, she must feel that the joke is hurtful to her – which she cannot unless she is an X, too.
Although she might have a little too much time to ponder such things, she probably means well, even if she’s overdoing it.
If I understood it, I’m sure I’d disagree with it. But be offended? Not an option. I don’t get offended except by personal remarks.
The ladies who act like your friend tend to drone on and I usually can distract myself with something in the room and interrupt them. “Is this a picture of your father?” Then they realize they’ve been talking to themselves.
It’s fascinating what’s offensive and what isn’t. I remember driving blissfuly for years, never noticing or caring about tailgaters. Now I notice them and get all mad. In some ways it’s better not to notice all of the little slights annoyances and assaults we face every day.
I remember in college there were certain people who seemed to almost take pleasure in being offended. They were always running around trying to have pictures taken down or painted over; speech codes passed; and so on. It’s interesting how you can come to “love to hate” certain things. Not to belittle anyone - there’s plenty of things that are offensive to most reasonable people. It just seems like it can be easy to get carried away.
