I’ve had people call me a liar when I said I rarely ever masturbate now that I’m married. My simple explanation was “I now have sex almost every single day or every other day, there’s really no point in me masturbating anymore”. And it’s not like I didn’t masturbate before, I did so frequently but I feel (which I think is uncontroversial) that masturbation is the store brand version of sex, and why use it when I can afford the real brand name?
I think this is very controversial. I’ve been in a committed relationship since 1987, and we still have totally awesome tantric sex. Yet we both still masturbate, often together. It’s like, if you had a steady diet of filet mignon, you’d still love cheeseburgers.
Does this topic come up often in casual conversation?
Yes between men when you’re drunk.
I don’t know, isn’t that a little like using filet mignon to make your cheeseburger?
I don’t think it’s weird. It’s probably uncommon, though.
Two observations:
-
Would you stop making yourself the occasional sandwich if you married an amazing chef who loved cooking for you?
-
When having sex, at least some (if not most) of you attention is on pleasing your partner. When you go solo, you can focus on yourself.
Haven’t done any surveys, but I find the OP’s situation decidedly non-weird. In the relationships I’ve been in, I’ve pretty much stopped masturbating, simply because I have all the sex I want, with another person.
The only time I’ve felt the urge the masturbate when in a relationship, is when my partner is for whatever reason unavailable for more than 3-5 days. Then I might spank the monkey and feel great for doing it, but typically, there’s zero need for that. Belly full of filet mignon etc.
Oh, and I think masturbating with someone else is NOT masturbating but having sex with someone.
I am very happy for the OP, but I assume your marriage is a relatively young one (if not, good for you guys!). But the reality is at some point, your wife is going to stop serving you filet mignon almost every single day, and you might have to resort to cooking up your own cheeseburger every now and then. I mean, I love my wife and I think we have a great relationship, but after 20 years and two kids it’s not a life of daily filet mignon anymore.
Back when we were in our 20s, a married friend claimed that he was having sex multiple times a day with his wife and masturbating every morning. A hard guy to be around, frankly, as he had this frantic, nervous energy. He was just full of spunk.
(mis)assuming this thread is about relationships and not just about liquidating inventory: once in a committed relationship, we’re responsible to our partner’s needs (in general, including sexual), but not for them.
Also, we still bear the responsibility for our own needs. Negating this personal responsibility can only result in frustration and burnout.
Two quotations apply: Zorba the Greek if a man leaves a woman unsatisfied, on judgement day she will heave a sigh that casts that man’s soul into Hell. Norman Mailer sometimes a man should let his wife get her rest.
Not OT: what then if she insists on resting for months on end? Not to advocate cheating, but monogamy is not the natural enforcement of celibacy, but rather the right of first refusal.
Shoot, after 20+ years of marriage, if I didn’t clean out the pipes myself, they’d almost NEVER get cleaned-out.
So to speak. 
I hate spunk.
Red light special, aisle three!!
ETA: Cleanup, aisle three.
Actually I think he would be pretty drained of it.
Sometimes it’s just a matter of convenience or practicality. Like I’m not going to bother my wife if we both have to be at work in 30 minutes. Just do my thing in the shower and be done with it.
And sometimes I’m just lazy, I just want to get over with and go to sleep.
I’m lucky. We’ve been together 34 years, and we’re still like horny teenagers in love.
“I’m telling everyone.”
Another reason to cut myself off after a couple.
Listening to others talk/brag about their sex lives is not my idea of a fun evening…
Example: I don’t think I’d want to go out with this guy: